R&L's Homespun Life

My weekend.....

2012-01-29T14:02:00.002-06:00

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend....

My daughter came home for the weekend and is on her way back to college...It was so good to see her..We had fun watching Hockey....This afternoon is the hockey pro teams...We watched the competition last night and it was a lot of fun..

Friday afternoon I spent time working on my grocery list...I am trying to get into a 2 week food shopping conquest. I have been sending Russ out to do the food shopping and he has done wonderfully..I just didn't want to go and deal with rude people staring at me...or get pity stares or whatever... Plus the last few weeks I had not been feeling up to par... But I decided I can't let things bother me...Wait till I have no boobs and they will really stare....:) of course I can cover that up better...Anyways I had a plan of attack to go into the store and get just what I wanted...I was not to get anything but what was on that list...HA HA HA...real funny...

The bad thing is after making the list friday I woke up saturday morning at 5 am... Couldn't sleep because my bones ached from chemo...So I read blogs..BAD THING......I saw so many wonderful recipes....Soup recipes and other recipes...Out comes the grocery list....change things up... because I am going to try some of the recipes...

Since I don't make homemade bread because I just don't have it in me so we decided to start off with fresh Panera Bagels...Russ picked them up and picked up 2 dozen of different kinds...We had one each for breakfast before going to food shop...Off to Hyvee we went....I stayed on course 98% of the time...Bought organic fresh produce... Organic apples and boy do they smell like sweet apples instead of being sprayed with pesticides...I bought organic chicken...Then I bought Amana beef..organic eggs...I need to go once a month to pioneer food coop to get more organic things...That will come in time...

After coming home I divided everything in to serving sizes....I always cook for an army and the army right now is just Russ and I... so I down sized all the meats...And with the Panera bagels since they are huge and loaded with carbs and calories I cut them all in half...We will have only a half of a bagel for our breakfast thus the bagels are going to last us many more meals...I spent for 2 weeks with everything from the Panera bagels and paper products and pet food stuff for the 2 weeks a total of $190.... $190 for 2 weeks....$95 it comes out to per week....I was so excited and I won't have to step into grocery store for 2 weeks....I have enough eggs, butter and milk and bread for the 2 weeks....And I will have a few extra meals other than the 2 weeks....Dogs and cats have everything for 2 weeks or more...

Russ and I want to lose weight...of course I have been dropping 1 pound a week for the last few weeks.. With cutting back on the serving sizes and ect we should beable to lose the weight eathing good healhy foods but having what we like to....One thing I have done in the past is give away so many things of mine that I had in the kitchen...I gave them to David or Dan...They needed the things to start off on their own and I wasn't using the things at the time...Now I need some of the things...So I am on the hunt for a stainless steel 5 or 6 quart size stock pot... I have a 12 quart one and is so big.. Will be checking out GoodWill and Amazon and ebay...I did some searching and the prices are outragious...I really have to think before giving things away....I don't mind to my own kids...it is when I give to goodwill or just throw it out and then need it later...I have to think more of later on in life now...Fun fun in getting old..

All I know is after going out and food shopping I was so weak....it wore me out like I have never felt before....I told Russ only 2 more chemo stuff an I am through with it...I can not believe walking through the store through me for a loop....

I baked brownies this morning to send back with Kim....Kepted a few for Russ to enjoy....I won't eat them because of the sugar and I don't like how i feel after a sugar intake... Kim was thrilled to take brownies and some bagels back with her..

Today all I have done is make breakfast and then the brownies....Not to much..My bones ache and I am getting use to the fact they ache on the weekends...Russ has been such a blessing to me with helping me through all the aches and pains and the emotions I am going through right now with deciding on what I want to do with surgery....I just don't know what to do..I am on a roller coaster right now and praying about it...To many things to think about it....Russ holds me and lets me cry in my decision making...I am trying to figure out what I am going to do...5 months ago I knew I would have to have my breast removed...But if I have it removed the other one will have to be down sized... I don't have small girls..So the good one has to be downsized.... Then my sister in law had her breast removed 20 years ago and 20 years later she had the other one removed because of cancer and she had that one down sized 20 years ago... Do I go that route of have both removed and then reconstructed into 2 perfect girls the same size... But do I want foreign stuff in my chest as fake breast...ugh... Do I just go around flat chested for the rest of my life and not have to worry about any of the surgeries...Do I go eenie meanie my mo which way do I go...Sorry if this is to graphic for some...but this is reality in the cancer world...After chemo and the surgery that will be all behind me and I can concentrate on the future.....All I know is I am so glad I have the Lord to lean on through out all this....

Well I need to go and actually do something....Have a great day....

Friday

2012-01-27T10:59:00.003-06:00

Thank you all for your wonderful comments...

I am feeling much better than last week and actually did somethings around the house..I didn't even lay on the couch..I didn't realize how bad the sinuses were...Love the "Z" pack...

Yesterday I paid some bills....As I was paying bills and paying attention to the stuff on the bills and all the extra charges are ridiculous...I am paying more attention to things now..I am so glad we got rid of that land line phone a few years ago...At first it was scary to cut it but with cell phones it is so much nicer...We don't get political calls or calls from charities...I donate to certain ones and that is it...Of course we haven't upgraded our phones in a long time because now they encourage the data packages and I don't feel I need it...I know people who love the data package...I guess if I was on the run all the time which isn't the case and I have my lap top and the HP I touch pad I don't need the data packages...at least not now besides it will up our cell phone bill tremendously when you have 3 phones to do that way...So we are keeping our phones till they die I guess.. When Kim is home from college for good she can do what she wants...She can get her own line or pay us for the additional cost if she wants the data package...

I have given the kittens more room to roam the house...I opened up the basement door...I closed our bedroom door and then blocked off the tool room...They could get into trouble in that tool room...I usually keep the exercise room closed up during the day and only put them in there play pen at night...Well the door is opened and they keep running back and forth down the hall to the room...They have yet to discover the basement door open yet...They have had so much fun running back and forth to their night time rooom... They are so cute...I love them dearly... Yesterday it was such a fight to get down to the basement with out them following me and then me trying to keep them out of the basement while I tried to close the door. I wanted to do laundry and it was such a task fending them off from getting into the basement so today I thought this is nuts..I am far behind on the laundry I just don't have it in me to fight with them everytime I want to do laundry...it was going to happen anyways to let them roam free range of the house I might as well do it now...Right now all 3 cats are lined up at the sliding glass doors watching the birds....I have a bird feeder on the deck...So they are enjoying it with their big sister....

Today Kim is suppose to come home..Not crazy about her driving at night and we may have some snow....She has a class at 7 pm...so it will be much later with her driving home...I am going to talk to her about waiting till morning to see how the roads are....we will see how much snow we are suppose to get...They can never get it right...

This morning I made out a menu for 2 weeks...Includes superbowl sunday... But I was only going to do 1 week but decided to get most of the stuff for 2 weeks....Then inbetween weekend I will set aside some $$$'s for fresh bread and milk and eggs and fresh fruits and veggies...This whole budgeting thing has been quite interesting..Before I would budget but if I went off it, it was no big deal...Well you put medical doctor co-pays and all college living expenses, and car payment that Kim has into the budget and it changes the whole thing where I HAVE to stick within the budget if we want to stick some in the savings account to....Goodness it is really really really hard to stick with in the budget...We wrote down all the stuff we spent that was not on the budget...If you write down everything and see it in writing it is a eye opener....What a waste of things we have bought..Goodness...I am learning tho..We cut out the newspaper and at times I miss it so much...but I can read on line and I can look at the ads on websites....it is hard getting use to it tho..It's like the Kindle....I love having books in hand...Just like I like having newspaper physically in my hand... I don't have a kindle but my daughter does...She didn't think she would really like it but she loves reading her kindle..

Well I should get some things done...feeling great and need to go through coupons and make out the grocery list...I have my menu planned now I just need to put the list together with some coupons...Hopefully save alittle...

Okay I have rambled on enough...Have a wonderful weekend and may it be filled with many blessings....

kittens

2012-01-26T06:45:00.008-06:00

Good morning....
I took some pictures of the kittens...Finally found the camera card for the camera...There will be more pictures coming in the future...

This is the first day I have felt better since last friday...I have had a horrible headache since friday...I had been so tired more than usually...I had chemo yesterday and I talked with the doctor and she put me on antibiotics for a sinus infection...I normally don't get sinus infections..I am very blessed I don't have sinus problems..She put me on the "Z" pack...I have never had something work so fast..I have a slight headache but not like it has been..I feel like I can function today...I almost didn't go to chemo...

I have 2 more chemos to go and then surgery...I am coming to the end with chemo and the IV pic coming out...I am more excited about the IV pic coming out..I won't have to wrap the arm to take a shower...

Enjoy the pictures..

This is Sideny and I caught her in a yawn....

This is Sideny and she is a sweetie...Sidney loves to be cuddled...

Sidney once again...

Crosby loves posing...

Crosby loves sleeping on pillows

Crosby on the pillow....

These kittens have been such a blessing for me...It's what I needed to get through the chemo's..I hope you enjoy the pictures...

Have a wonderful day...

Simpliar times ahead

2012-01-23T14:56:00.002-06:00

Happy Monday...

Outside my window looks cold and windy and icy...Just went out to my driveway and it is icy...So I threw salt on the driveway...I can't get to my garby or recycling cans...Garby is partway in the street tipped over...Thankfully it is empty....Russ will bring them up when he gets home..And Hopefully the salt works on the driveway...

This morning was nasty driving and Russ made it to work safely...If you trust the news media we are doomed in the morning with traveling..Russ thought about staying home..But he tried it and it wasn't as bad as the news media was making it out to be....Side streets and driveways are bad...but the highway was slick in spots..It you drive carefully you can make it...

I haven't done much today...lazy...left over from a lazy weekend...I use to stress about being lazy but not anymore...I sure hope I get over it...I can get away with it now but not after everything is over...so I will be lazy if I feel like it... :)

Yesterday I cooked the turkey a friend gave me last month...I froze some of it...gravy and mashed potatos and turkey...I am making meals to heat up for when I have surgery....Have one meal down...Would like 2 weeks of meals in the freezer...I don't want processed foods...So I am making homemade from scratch meals..Oh I was going to freeze the left over chicken pot pie I made on friday...oh my goodness it was not good...I have no idea why...Russ liked it but didnt love it but I didn't like it one bit...So the dogs had it...they loved it...

Russ and I were very lazy yesterday...watched TV all day long while the turkey was in the oven...

Russ and I did plan things for this spring and summer...I am having surgery at the end of Febuary and it gives me plenty of time to heal before spring... I know I had said I was not planning a garden... I know many of you who really know me knew that was not going to happen..They were probably waiting for me to say this..Russ and I planned a garden and some projects in the backyard...I can help with some....We are doing small projects with stuff we already have..no buying or projects... We can redesign and all that..but to purchase that is not going to happen... Our garden that we are planning will have to be planned very carefully...Any seeds we plant will go directly into the ground.. We will buy plants from local nurseries and the farmers market...but we aren't buying as many...We just don't have the money like all the other years because of medical bills and college stuff..I am excited tho in planning and also I love challenges and this will be a challenge for me to come up with the money...I have a budget all planned before the garden was planned.. I have $$'s going into the savings account and I can deduct from that to start the garden but my challenge to myself is not to touch it...My challenge also is not to compromise on our healthy eating so the food budget will not be touched.. So my plan is all change from spending will go into a ooin jar for plants.. And cutting back on lights and the heating bill...And water. We are so wasteful with the water and electric....the heating bill yes I can lower the temp but I refuse to be miserable...I keep the temp at 70*s..I know some keep it at 65...my own kids keep it at 65...My body can't take 65...now in the summer I LOVE 65....I could live at 65 all the time in the summer...why not in the winter I have no clue........I wish I could...I have tried 68 with quilts and I just can't deal with it..I tried 69 and nope.... 70 fits me just right...So I cut back on other stuff...Anyways I am tickled silly with planning things...

We are also changing to simpliar ways... Russ and I are starting to decluttering alot of areas in our home...We just have to much in the house...We both get to keep our hobby stuff..His tool room and my sewing/craft room...All other stuff will be sorted through and we will ask our kids if they want what ever we will be getting rid of... If they don't want it then it goes out the door to Good Will...We are also changing over to Mrs. Meyers cleaning products and other green cleaning products..I didn't go through chemo for nothing...So we are changing over....Simple good green products.... Simple baking soda and vinegar cleaning products...I am so looking forward to all this...

Have a fantastic day...

Saturday afternoon

2012-01-21T16:20:00.002-06:00

I hope this weekend finds you all well..
Yesterday we had snow and I think they said we had 6.5 inches... Russ called me and said he was leaving work... He works in Iowa city..About 21 miles south of us...He told me it was clear sailing till he got about 2 miles from home and then everything slowed down to about 5 miles an hour...I-380 was icy.. So it took him about 30 minutes to go 2 miles..

I started the driveway with my snow blower... Mine is much smaller and so it takes longer to clear the driveway. I had it 3/4s done and I was so tired...I knew he would be able to make it up the driveway with what I had done..Our driveway is slightly sloped...So I went in to wait till he got home...I was really tired..The snow blower I have is not self propelled...Wish it was...so I was pushing and pulling it and I just couldn't do it anymore...

He got home and got the big snow blower out...It has been giving us problems starting..Well yesterday it wouldn't even turn over....Russ used my snow blower to do the rest of the driveway... He was really tired from driving and would do the sidewalks this morning...

This morning he tried the big snow blower once again...nothing...so he did the sidewalks with the smaller blower....So the job is done...

Tim our son came to look at the snow blower and Russ and Tim worked on it...Tim can get it started manually and showed Russ which setting to set it on to start in manually...It runs beautiful when started manually...Tim took the starter apart and checked it out...Well all the gears are stripped....so we need to order a new starter..$87 on Amazon....So we will order it...Tim and Russ will put it in when it arrives....as long as we can start it manually it will be okay..$87 is alot cheaper than buying a new one....so I am happy...We just can't order it right now because I just paid some medical bills...so it will wait a week or two before ordering it..

Tomorrow the weather looks pretty bad...They are calling for freezing drizzle and then snow...Not a good combination....We have all we need to right now...So we are good to be stuck in doors..

Today I have rested alot...I don't ache as bad...Tired yes....I am taking Motrim like the doctor said and it has helped with the aching bones..

Hopefully tomorrow with being indoors I will take some time to sew....or painting some projects...

Have a great weekend...

A snowy day....

2012-01-20T15:01:00.002-06:00

It's been snowing all day long...It was heavy for a time but most of the time it has been light..I think we got 4 inches or maybe more....When Russ calls to tell me he will be traveling home, I will go and start my snow blower and get a path up the driveway for him and then we will work together to get the job finished.. We have a much bigger snow blower for him...I can't handle it...I love my baby one we got about a year ago it has an electric start..I would never beable to start it by pulling the chord....I do most of the snow shoveling and Russ wanted me to have a snow blower so we invested in one for me...It has been the best move for us since I can use it with the IV Pick in my arm..This year the bigger one is giving us problems getting it started...It is about 10 years old...My older son said it needs a new starter...So come spring Dan will work on it because he knows how to fix small engines like that...He went to schooling for that..So they are searching for a starter on line...It will save us alot of money by Dan doing it..

Yesterday I did some things on my list that I posted...I am finsihing things that are not done and it feels so good to see things coming together and not costing us anything because I have everything... Yesterday I finished putting up the border wall paper....the border wall paper is not up near the ceiling..It is right above where my counter top stops...It's like a tile border...but it is a tuscan theme...I love the olive oil bottles with herbs in it and that is what the border is..Well I stopped at the stove and started on the otherside of the stove..I have no idea why I did that...But it has been 3 years and it has bugged me that I didn't put that piece behind the stove... So when I was cleaning the sewing room I looked in a cabinet and found the border to finish the project...I had a small oak shelf just above the stove...It held salt and pepper shakers and some olive oil...The shelf was oak but a different color oak then my kitchen cabs..it also bugged me...So yesterday I sanded it to make sure the new paint adheres to it...I painted it black...My stove is white with a black smooth top...Just finishing the border paper and painting the shelf black makes such a difference to the area and also my attitude...

I know some of you have been reading my blog for sometime...My husband made me a dough/noodle board a couple of years ago...I saw the noodle boards on other blogs and loved them..So for my birthday he made me the noodle board.. Well it has traveled from one spot to another because my oven is in use all the time..So it sorta got in the way in the kitchen...The whole idea was I wanted it in my kitchen...Well it has been sitting on my coffee table with magazines on it and the remote controls for the TV....It looked nice but I wanted it in my kitchen...So I ended up putting it on my counter top that I rarely use because it houses my mixer and a few other things...So I took everything off and then set the noodle board on the counter and then put the mixer on it with the other things...it looks so nice...So I have my noodle board back in the kitchen where it belongs...

Well it is time to finish the kitchen and I am going to make homemade chicken pot pie and I need to get somethings chopped and then I need to get ready to snow blow the driveway...Hope everyone has had a fantstic day....

It's coming fast.....

2012-01-19T04:52:00.002-06:00

Chemo nights I have a hard time sleeping...I am so wide awake and I think it is from the Benadryl they give me and I want to bounce off the walls...so I decided to write early...I have a ton of things I want to accomplish..

I was taking a shower last night and it hit me that in 3 weeks chemo will be over... Next chemo session they are going to make plans for the surgery...I wil be seeing the general surgeon in a couple of weeks and that is when my decision will be made about a single or double mastectomy... I keep going back and forth..I am in prayer about it...I know God will give me the peace I need when it comes to the decision. Right now I am going back and forth...Russ is so very supportive of whatever decision I make...He is a sweetie let me tell you...do you believe I have been going through chemo for 5 months...At the beginning of 5 months I thought it was forever and now everything is at my door step and I will be moving on with my life in 5 short weeks...well I do have to heal...I am starting to get nervous big time with the changes ahead of me...

I talked to the doctor about me being really tired...During the whole time I have been going through chemo I did not have the extreme fatique I am having now and the tingleness I have in my hands and feet...She did tell me it will get worse with the next 3 weeks...So I have to change my ways with my goal planning...I always make a list in what I want to accomplish each day...now I have to cut back and listen to my body and rest during the day...I am not use to that...But I do have to rest and let my body heal... I have to eat healthy to build up my strength..

Last night we had left over pork which I made into barbecue pork sandwhiches...I made homemade mac and cheese...Mac and cheese is comfort food but I also make it low fat and it is very good... Tonight we will have left over mac and cheese and burgers...

Friday night will be home made chicken pot pie....we are suppose to have a pretty big snow storm come in and chicken pot pie is one of Russ's favorite dinners... driving in the snow and then coming home he will love having the chicken pot pie....

Saturday will be red meat of some kind...

Sunday we will be going to church and then after church I will start roasting the 18 pound turkey I got from a friend that she didn't want...she won it...So we will be having lots of different healthy turkey dinners next week...I will give some to Dan to...All my other kids don't like turkey...I will freeze some so we can have it while I recoop from the surgery...

It's nice having the dinner menu planned out...Usually when I have it all planned out I never go with it because something always comes up...I don't see anything coming up as of right now..I am staying pretty close to home so I don't get sick...Russ is doing the errands for me...I go to the doctors and pick up Dan for work if he needs a ride which is most of the time...And I want to go to church...I know it is risky but I feel so connected there.

Things I want to do..it's a list but will do them as my body allows in the next couple of days...

1) I know we will have to shovel on friday...
2)Tidy up living room...
3)Clean my kitchen , mop floor and clean outside of the appliances..
4)Clean out the old food out of the refrig and see what I need
5)Go through my piles of scissors and see which one cuts the best...
6)Cut out my T-shirt night shirt pattern that has been sitting on my dining room table for the last week...seems like all my scissors are all in bad shape...tried sharpening a pair and totally screwed them up...I guess I can't sharpen scissors..
7) I have a small shelf above the stove...Want to paint it black...
8) Never finished the border wall paper behind the stove...Found the roll last weekend when I cleaned my sewing room...will finish the border..I think it's been 3 years..
9)Put sewing machine back in sewing room...I brought it out when Jessi needed some help with her machine... She brought it over so I could show here some things...She is a newbie with sewing... Her's has a lot of electronic stuff...After using hers I will stick to mine...Mine is not electronic and I will be taking very good care of mine...making sure it is oiled and all that...
10) I have my dining room table with two leaves in them...sits 12 but with the leafs in them it sure makes a good cutting table for my pattern...so will cut out pattern and then put table back down to normal size...
11) Clean the kittens room which is the exercise room..There play pen is in there where they stay...They are going to graduate out of the play pen into the room.. it has been a catch all room...so that will be clean and sorted and the play pen taken down and cleaned....big jog this one is...They do not stay in the room during the day...only when we are out and at night...They get into alot of trouble and I don't trust Holly just yet when I am not home...Holly is old and doens't have the patience with them...
12) Take some time to sew....
13)Relax and watch Project Runway tonight
14)Work on some hand projects while wathching TV at night...I have been addicted to the Word Game on Facebook...goodness it is fun but takes so much of my time...
15)Go to bed tired each night so I get a good nights sleep...I don't see this being a problem after what the doctor told me...
16) Change my sign above the sliding glass door...The one that is up now says Seasons Greeting...Of course it is the season of winter right???

This is my list of things to do...They will get done as my body allows me to do...

Ya'll have a great day and stay warm...May your day be filled with many Blessings....

Scond post... roads bad...

2012-01-17T08:25:00.002-06:00

Ugh it's pretty bad out there with the roads..Russ did a 360 2 blocks from home...no one hit him... he continued on to work...took him an hour to get there..I would have been a coward and came home after the 360....I am so thankful he is safe and at work...Hopefully the travel home will be better...

Snowy morning...

2012-01-17T06:57:00.002-06:00

Good morning...I'm waitig for Russ to call me and let me know he made it to work safely. It's snowing and it's not snowing hard...enough to make the roads slick and maybe some drivers just don't take the time to drive more careful...there are accidents all over...We have had only a inch or two of snow...

It feels good to shovel.. I helped Russ shovel before he left work...it was an easier shovel then last weeks...So it is done for now and I will go out and shovel when the snow stops...which will be around noon they said...

The snow is pretty...it is glistening where the street lights were shining down...I have alawys loved snow...For some reason I dread it this year maybe because I just can't do it all this year...I will enjoy the prettiness of it tho..

I didn't go to church this past sunday because I needed the rest....Actually the whole weekend I felt like I had been hit with a mac truck...I may have had a bug more than the chemo affecting me..

I did go through all my old magazines recipes that I have been cutting out for years...I weeded out all the high fat, high carb recipes and threw them out.. I downsized my collection of recipes big time.. This is our way of life now..especially cutting the high carb foods in our diet...

On Monday I just couldn't muster the energy to do anything..I have cut alot of red meat out of our diet recently and I know red meat is also important for your body...I don't have red meat in the house...I was craving red meat last night...I have never done this before but I ordered take out from Texas Roadhouse... Russ and I love Prime rib and we ordered that... I wasn't sure how it was going to taste by bringing it home...OH my gosh it was so good... It was expensve but I can't tell you when we ate out and ate something so good...It has been a long time...And the best part is we got to eat in peace and quiet...I love Texas Roadhouse but I don't like the noise....You can barely hear each other talking...So we enjoyed last night so much...Of course we spent our momth of January's eating out budget but it was so well worth it...I will be definitley be buying red meat when I go grocery shopping next time...I have to stick with the food budget so I will have to plan things all over again and have more soups for dinner...

I am doing well on our budget.. I am doing well with our goals...of course it is only the 17th of January and have a long way to go....If I don't keep track each day I know I will fail at it...There are times I just want to go out and shop...But I can't...it has been hard changing my ways...I want to get on the internet and order things...I am changing my ways in not doing that...I make goals each and every day in things I want to accomphish....Where I want to save...what I want to get done...And the good thing about the goals is I am getting things done and not spending extra money that is not in the budget I made up....We do have our allowance to spend but man oh man it makes you think twice about spending that money...the things that you had to have just don't seem as important....It's not what I really want to spend my allowance on...talk about retraining your brain on things...I am loving it tho because I am already seeing the results in the bank account...The money is not flying out the window at stuff...What a wake up call I am seeing...It's a good wake up call... I love the no spending challenges...

Stay safe and warm today...may it be filled with many blessings...I still haven't heard from Russ....it must be pretty bad road conditions for him to take this long...

Friday

2012-01-13T16:14:00.002-06:00

Hope your Friday is going well..

I am tired today...Yesterday we had snow for the first time this winter...And we shoveled and we used our snow blowers... 3 times we did it..Twice yesterday and once this morning and I have not gone out this afternoon so I don't know what the driveway looks like...The wind is wicked with snow drifts...Even tho the snow drifts are really pretty...I love how the wind shapes them.. I just don't like the drifts in the middle of the driveway...It's not as windy as yesterday or early this moning..

It did catch up with me energy wise...I forget I am on chemo at times and I do way to much...Especially with the news that I don't have cancer anywhere else and that the tumor is gone...I still have to go through chemo.. In my mind I am healed and feel like I can do alot more things and then it hits me. So today it hit me with just plain old tiredness...So I have been napping off and on...

Yesterday while the winds were whipping and the snow blowing I did open the curtains on one window...I worked on a flannel blanket while I watched the wind and snow blowing for Russ...A year ago my daughter in law made me a flannel blanket that you don't sew but tie knots...Well that blanket is toasty...And Russ really wanted one so I bought some flannel fabric last weekend and worked on it yesterday and it was ready for him for last night..We have our master bedroom in the basement and it is much cooler down in the basement but let me tell you these blankets are toasty as can be..I also worked on a pattern...Well I cut out the pattern to lay out on the fabric...I haven't cut it out yet today...Maybe tonight..if not tonight I will work on it this weekend...

This weekend will be a quiet one..Well it is the beginning of our 6 month budget of being frugal and watching our pennies...so we are going to plan the next couple of weeks for groceries and what we want to do...It is a good time to play catch up on things in the house....fixing things and working on some wood projects that we want to do...finish all unfinished projects we have started...We have put things off and now is a really a good time to finsih everything...And plan for new ideas and start on them...I love these kind of weekends...

Other than that there is nothing else going on....I hope you have wonderful weekend and may it be filled with many blessings....

Thursday- a snowy day

2012-01-12T08:28:00.002-06:00

This morning we woke to snow...It is pretty to see and it is a light weight snow...Powerdery...Easy to shovel...Yes I shoveled and it felt so good...I did push with my right hand..I can't do alot with the left hand as I still have the IV pic in for chemo....It is down right cold out there...windy to....Dave said he was coming by today and I am hoping he can help shovel later...

Yesterday was chemo day...It went pretty good except for the foot massage....usually I enjoy them but it set off my nerves in my feet and it was so bothersome...All day long...And my hands yesterday was bothering me...When I saw the doctor she told me to take Vitamin B-12...Since I am taking metoformin meds it depleats B-12...when you are short on B-12 it affects the nerves...Then yesterday afternoon I saw the Dr.Oz show and for some reason he talked about B-12 and the nerves...Goodness.. So Russ picked up some B-12 for me....This morning my hands felt much better and the feet were somewhat better...So I will continue to take the B-12...

On chemo day I do not do much...I wanted to sleep yesterday...So I rested....Today I am doing much better...I am listening to my body...When it says rest I rest now...

I am going to read blogs this morning an I am going to actually comment...Then this afernoon I am going to cut out some patterns and sew...I am so looking forward to it on this snowy day...Right now I am watching Project Runway love that show....

Oh goodness I went over the last 3 months of my bank statements...Yikes....I look at 3 different things...Gas money for the cars and meds I have to have...I had figured out a budget with guessing on the gas in what we spent on meds and gas...Eating out I knew it was a problem...So when I went and figure out the budget I made a budget for only $50 for eating out for the month...It's only Russ and I... I would to go out once a month....Have a nice dinner....Use a coupon to help us out...Anyways I went through the last 3 months and I about had a heart attack!!! No more....Frugal is coming my way big time...I have to plan for Chemo day and for the time I have surgery so we don't order fast food...Fast food can be just as expensive as eating out at AppleBees sometimes...So fast food is out...And yesterday after Chemo we went right past McDees...I didn't get my frappa... That has been a thing with Jessi and I... We love our frappas....but she is on a diet and it would have had busted her diet and I really don't need the high sugar frappa...but it is good...But I did without it...I am going to stay away from it....BUT my last chemo treatment I will have one!!!! I am going to celebrate with one....but it will have to come out of the $50 a month eating out..

I need to get my goals done today so I can enjoy reading other post and sewing today....

Have a great day...

Tuesday

2012-01-10T09:21:00.003-06:00

It's another gorgeous morning...Chilly but sunny and beautiful... We are suppose to get in the high 50's... I can deal with this... We have had no snow so far...We have had some flurries...So I am enjoying this winter...However it is not good for the trees and for those who will be gardening this spring..Thursday we may have some snow...Today in the 50's and windchills they are talking below zero on Thursday...

I am trying to get on a schedule...I want to make Monday and Tuesday my deep cleaning day...Those two days I am feeling the best...The weekends I ache so bad from the chemo...I plan on Saturday and Sunday being my days of hand sewing and crocheting...Thursday and Fridays I want to be my sewing and craft days..

I am sorta frustrated...I know I got great news about my cancer...Knowing that I have no cancer elsewhere in my body and that the tumor is gone why am I going through 5 more chemo treatments...Why can't I go with the surgery... I will have a lot of questions tomorrow for my doctor...I am going to have a mastectomy so I am getting rid of the breast... So lets get rid of it...I guess what it is I want to move forward NOW not at the end of Feburary...I have no patience...But I have to remember the Lord provided these doctors for me and the Lord has squashed that tumor with the help of these doctors...Again here comes the control issues with me...And that is one thing I have learned through out this whole thing with cancer is that I need to stop controlling every aspect of my life...That the Lord is in control...And Patience is hard for me...I would love to stop the chemo now and go in for the surgery...I don't think that is God's plan tho... On Sunday our Pastor had his sermon on that..God's provisions and God's plan... So I need to stop trying to control again and see God's plan and provisions...

Tomorrow is my chemo day and today is suppose to be my cleaning day...Didn't get everything I wanted done yesterday...So I start with some of yesterday's list and then start todays...

Have a great day and may it be filled with many blessings...I am very Blessed to have you as my friend....

Back to normal....

2012-01-08T16:11:00.002-06:00

Not sure if I like back to normal or not...

Started out with church this morning...What a great worship and sermon today...I needed it today...

After Church we took Kim out to lunch...They had pot luck at church but Kim wanted Carlos O Kelly's...so we took her there for lunch.. Came home after lunch and packed up her car and she took off to go back to college...Miss her already..It's been a while since I have been alone in the house..Well Russ is home today but starting tomorrow it all goes back to normal with no kids being home...It will take some time to get use to it all over again...Winter break sure went fast...it seems so long ago that it was Christmas...

On Saturday I went to Hancock Fabrics...It's been a while and they changed the store all around.. and to me they had less Fabric..I couldn't even find T-shirt fabric...A week or so ago I went to our Walmarts near us and they have shrunk down there sewing area to...They have no pattern books to go through either...So at Hancocks I sat down and went through there pattern books..Got a few patterns to work on some things.. I am also shocked at the price of fabric...UGH... I love long night shirts and found a pattern and I was looking for T-shirt fabric but couldn't find anything...Did find something close to it...By the time I bought the fabric and pattern I could have bought a night shirt cheaper at Walmarts. It's the fact that I will have fun making my own...Then the fun will begin when I start looking on the internet for fabric that is at a bargain...or wait till fabric goes on sale at Hancocks or JoAnns...I have some stuff to keep me busy for a while...So I am just tickled silly...

I wanted to get somethings to keep me busy because this whole week is goign to be no spend week except for chemo co-pay...Our cars are filled with gas and food in the house...I will be making a grocery list for next week...Making a menu to..I guess first I have to make a menu and then the list...

Another thing I am going room by room and will be decluttering and organizing in each room..It will take me a while as chemo does limit the energy...So I am making a list of things to do each day... Hopefully will get things accomplished...

Budgeting is another thing I have to re-do... It will be worked on tomororw...I sat down and did a budget and left some things out...Memory is foggy at times...So Russ and I sat down over the weekend and made a list of things...Realized I left out somethings..So I will re-do and we will be sticking to it pretty much for 6 months...It is going to be tough but we can make it work...We just have to limit a few things..Cut somethings out but we aren't going to suffer because of it...Actually we will probably be better off in what we are doing...

One thing Russ and I talked about is the garden this year...Unfortunately as much as I like to garden we just aren't going to do it this year...We will have some tomatoes in containers but that is it..We are going to cover the gardens this summer and then we will let them sit for this year... I know with surgery and my reconstructive surgery there just won't be any energy to put into the garden...I am not even looking at seed catalogs...It is going to be hard in not having veggies this year...We will support the farmers market this year...We will enjoy going this year and meeting vendors...The money that we would have spent on our gardens will go to purchasing fresh veggies...

My biggest goal this New Year was to beat cancer...I will continue beating it.. I know it can always come back...So my health is important...Eating right is very important and the menu planning is very important...Losing weight will be another thing to work on..So I have a very busy year this year with my health and Russ's health...I am excited for this challenge...I am excited to start sewing again and making my own clothes...and also re-purposing some old clothes to fit...I think it will be fun to work on sewing...

This afternoon I clipped our dogs nails...I saved money by doing it myself.. I love saving money in this way.. One of our dogs Remmy which is a Golden Retriever makes such an ordeal about his nails and trimming his hair...Wears me out.. But that deed is done for now..

As you go through the week may your week be filled with many Blessings....

I'm behind....

2012-01-06T14:47:00.002-06:00

I'm trying to catch up on things I usually start in December...but put off and now that I had great news I am trying to catch up on things...I had no motivation before..I couldn't see past certain points...Now all is clear..Now I can plan...

I also found out my daughter goes back to college sunday and not next thursday..So we are going through financial things and getting it all ready for her...It will be a tough 6 months for all of us..Tightening that belt tighter then we have ever had to do...stopping things and planning things out more....

The important thing is to have her finish this last semester to get her CPA...Then she starts in the real world in June...Kim has job already lined up..

I will be back on Monday with alot of plans and goals I have lined up for us...My no spending for 6 months other than medical and meds and food and bills...Both Russ and I will have an allowance so we can spend as we please...Our goals in what and how we will achieve things...

Have a great weekend...

Thank you

2012-01-05T07:24:00.003-06:00

Thank you for all the Happy Dances...and prayers and support...

I was so thrilled to get the news...My life changed yesterday...My New Year really started yesterday...I have wonderful doctors...

They did find something else which is not cancer...It is a Hiatal Henia.. It wasn't discussed...Didn't want to....we will discuss it next week...I am not worried about it right now...it is not cancer and that is all that I cared about....

I have to continue the chemo...5 more to go...The chemo is working...We want to make sure all the cells are gone...I will be having surgery at the end of Feburary beginning of March...My next decision is removing both breast and having reconstructive surgery...Even if I only do one my good breast will have to be down sized...So I am thinking of removing both and never having to worry and have both reconstrutive surgery...but having the reconstructive surgery gardening season is over and I will be able heal and lose more weight which will mean I am healthier and will heal better...So those are my decisions right now...I will let the Lord lead me in that direction...

Today is my daughters birthday and I need to make a cake and then we are having a girls day...the group has grown and I am so looking forward to this day...it's a happy day....

Have a wonderful day...

test results....

2012-01-04T09:41:00.002-06:00

I am sitting here getting chemo...I will be celebrating and doing the happy dance today..there is no signs of cancer anywhere...even the breast cancer is gone...Thank you all so much for all your praying for me...((hugs)) to you...

The New Year.....

2012-01-02T19:09:00.003-06:00

I hope and pray that everyone had a safe and Happy New Year.

Our New Years Eve was very quiet...I made it to 11 pm for the New York ball drop and then we headed off to bed...

Sunday we went to church and it was so nice to go and will continue to go each week that I am feeling up to par.. I feel if I can go to grocery stores I can make it to church.. It was nice to see everyone...

Today we woke and took our Cobalt to the dealership to get the recall done..And we got a oil change and then we had the blinker fixed. The blinker started to go last week..it was the mechanism...And I am so glad it went now just before the warranty is up..which was in 1000 miles... so that was cool...Every thing was free except the oil change...so the car is off to a good start for 2012...

I have been thinking alot about goals....or resolutions...whatever to me they are sorta the same thing..When I sat down to write it all down my goals are so totally different than all the years before...all the goals through out the years have been selfish ones.. I only have one selfish one and that is beating cancer...The others are personal ones that I want to accomplish...I am not going to share them here...except for beating the cancer.. When I feel I have accomplished the ones that are personal I will write about it...

There are some other goals that I have that are things that will help our family with budgeting and menu planning... Also I want to learn something new each month...so out of the box kind of thing...No more putting things off...Life is to short...I won't be jumping out of planes or anything...Another goal is to finish all unfinished projects and that was on the list last year so I never accomplished it..so this year maybe just maybe I will complete the unfinished projects...

I can't wait for things to get back to normal... I feel like all I have been doing is cooking and being lazy...Russ has been off and will go back to work tomorrow...I have let the house go so tomorrow will be a day of catching up on house work...I am looking forward to it..Yes I am...I love blessing my home.. So tomorrow I will not be on the computer till my work is completed.....Wednesday Russ has the day off...He wants to be with me at the appointment to find out the results of the scan plus I have chemo again..I have had my moments the last few days with some tears... I just need to be patient... I feel my new year will really start when I get the results...It's like the world is standing still right now till the results come in.. Thursday is my daughters 23rd birthday... So Kim and Jessi and I are going to have a girls day...We are going to Iowa City and have some fun.. Then Friday is another free day of nothing to do..Then the weekend...Kim goes back to school next week and I want to enjoy time with her to..

I am hoping your New Year is going as you want it to be...I hope it is filled with many Blessings...

2012

2011-12-31T17:33:00.002-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS....MAY YOUR NEW YEAR BE FILLED WITH MANY BLESSINGS AND HEALTH AND HAPPINESS...

Today is my aching day with this type of chemo...every joint in my body hurts and it is bothering me more today than it has in the past and I think it is because of laying on that bed for the scan for 50 minutes with my hands raised over my head for that long..So today has been a lazy day....I think it is also because of the stress that I am dealing with for the results...I didn't realize I would be so tense in waiting for the results...UGH...But I am trying to keep my mind off it all...

This coming new year Russ and I have decided to be dilegent on saving $$$'s...In what I mean by that because of our past in how we deal with things, if something goes wrong with something we would just toss it away and buy new things...My vacuum cleaner has been taken apart quite a few times and each time it is taken apart the suckion works better...Well the gasket part that you open to dump out the dirt the hinge has been broken and each time I duck tape it closed..So I told Russ that I need a new vacuum or I need us to look and see if we can purchase the part...Well guess what??? We found the part for $11.06....Now why the .06 cents I have no clue...But we got it for $11.06 plus shipping..So altogether with shipping it is costing $16.76...And I won't have to battle with the hinge anymore...And I don't have to buy a new vacuum...I felt pretty good in saving money...So it has me on a roll with how much we can save by really being diligent in year 2012 with repairing and fixing things..

One thing I love is Yankee candle....Last year I had a yankee candle calendar...I love the pictures... Every year I get a FREE calendar from our car insurance company...I didn't get a new Yankee Calendar because of the fact I forgot to put it on my list... So I decided to do something pretty frugal...And it has come out so good.. I took all the calendars from the FREE one and then adhered it on top of the 2011 calendars on the yankee calendar one...Now the free one wasn't as large as the Yankee calendar so I positioned it off to the side, so I took some white copier paper and placed it on one side for notes...The new used calendar came out so cool and it is customed made for me...I am tickled silly with the whole thing...And the tape I used came from the dollar tree so the whole thing cost me $1 to make... Again I saved money and felt pretty good...

I love this feeling of saving money and I have been so bad at it lately...I use to be so good but over the past few years I have been concentrating on saving money with groceries and utility bills....So this year I will be concentrating on the groceries and utility bills as well but also how I can save more money on repairing things and re-purposing things...One thing I would like to do this year is taking all my brass light fixtures because I DON'T like brass fixtures and I am going to spray paint them wrought iron...Of course that is when the weather is cooler...In the mean time I will put some money away just in case it doesn't work...But I would love to try and make it work.. If it works then I will have saved some money for something else to re-purpose for something that needs replacing...We saved $690 on the plumbing that my son repaired instead of the plumber charging us $700...The part for $10 is working perfect...

So these are some of the things that have been running through my mind today as I rest from my achy joints... And I had fun creating my own personal pretty calendar for the New Year for New Beginnings...

Again HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

THANK-YOU!!!

2011-12-30T16:35:00.002-06:00

The scan went well for me...it was like a MRI...I was in the tube and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...

I want to thank you all for praying..I felt the prayers....I know God is in control and what ever the outcome is I know God will be carrying me all the way...

As I was in the tube I thought about all the things I want to accomplish this New Year...

My first New Years Resolution is not staying up till midnight..we will be staying up till the ball drops in New York City and then we will go to bed and start the First Day of the New Year in church in the morning.. Then for New Years dinner we will be having some kind of dinner...Haven't decided... No I don't have black eye peas... The year we had black eye peas was the year my husband was layed off and have never had them again...So they aren't in our life anymore and it's been 15 years since we had them..

Tonight or tomorrow morning I will be figuring out our menu for the next two weeks..This year I would like to make a 2 week plan at a time...It will be a healthy diet....low in carbs and high in veggies and proteins...We will be walking the mall that is near by and getting our exercising there...Apparently the treadmill and stationary bike we have never gets used....We might as well window shop and enjoy our walk and get ideas to make things instead of buying things...Our main goal is to save money this year...So no buying while walking....

We are watching the ISU Bowl Game right now....ISU isn't doing well...We will see how the other Iowa team plays tonight... It has been fun watching the game with Tim and Jessi and Kim and Russ...Hopefully the Hawkeyes do better...

There is alot of positives that I see this coming New Year and I am looking forward to the New Year...

Again I am sending Hugs to all that have prayed for me...You are wonderful...
I hope you have a wonderful night bringing in the New Year on New Years Eve...Be safe and happy and hope your New Year is filled with many many Blessings....

Scan....

2011-12-29T22:17:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow which is friday... please pray that the scan shows nothing....and please pray that I remain calm while in the tube...I will be entering that stupid tube around 10 am central standard time...
Thanks everyone for praying...

chemo day

2011-12-28T21:36:00.002-06:00

Went to my weekly chemo day....I dropped 4 pounds this week...Haven't a clue as to why because I ate alot of things I shouldn't...maybe it is from chasing to wild kittens...All I know is if I keep dropping some pounds I will be happy.. Another blessing about this whole cancer thing...

Found out I will know some answers after this whole body scan on friday.. In a way I am scared to find out and then again if I am cancer free it will be the best New Year ever...I know God is in control and this weekend will be a LONG weekend till the next chemo treatment when I find out the answers...Patience is a virtue...I think...:)

As I was having chemo things came to my mind about things I want to do.. I bought a rug weaving thing that has been sitting in the sewing room still in the box.. I bought it at a yard sale for $5.00 and it sits...Come January I would like to work on it....I think it will be fun to weave some place mats and I really don't know how big it is..maybe some small throw rugs...

At Chemo today I gave my chemo nurses their scarves.. They were not ready last week like I would have like to have done...Only 3 of the nurses were there...I have the one and will give it to her next week or when she comes back...I am hoping she will be back. She is a sweetie..One of the nurses said she will be out for a while...So I am praying for her.. These nurses really put their lives on the line dealing with the chemo drugs...even tho they suit up when they give it to you they still are exposed...They have hearts of gold.. They were tickled silly with their scarves...I will be making more but will not have to rush...I would like to make one for my lab nurse and then the nurse to Dr. Begum and then I would love to give a scarf to Dr. Begum...I know she would love it...She is that kind of Doctor... earthy doctor and she is saving lives...I can't say enough for the doctors and nurses that God provided for me..

I am starting to get the side affects from the chemo...My feet tingle like crazy...I have a hard time going to bed...and the end of my fingers are starting the tingling..Not to happy with that... And hot flashes like crazy...Only on the day I have chemo...Fans on and everything...

Tomorrow which is Thursday is a free day for Russ and I... Probably stay at home..We are finally winterizing our home.. We are late but of course there is no snow for a while and I am very happy about that...Yes snow is pretty...our grass is finally turning the winter brown...it has been green all winter long thus far... With it turning brown I feel that we will be getting snow soon...They say saturday it is suppose to be near 50 on saturday..That is so unreal...windows my be opened on the sunny side if it is sunny...let the fresh air in...

The kittens are growing like weeds...they are getting the run of the upstairs... They love it and don't like their play pen...but the play pen is for eating and sleeping and we have cat litter in there to...they know play pen is for bed time...we put them in there a couple of times a day to take naps... They play so hard and we laugh like crazy...We are thrilled to have them in our life...Yes they keep us very busy...but a happy busy...Sophia is not to happy... she lets me know she isn't to happy with us...But yet she watches them and I think she wants to join in with them but won't admit it...Sophia knows my bed time is cuddle time with her and she is happy about that...She doesn't chase them like my sons cat...she wanted to attack that cat..She didn't like her right from the start and he found a home for her...which I was happy about...

Well I should turn in and try and get some sleep and start a fresh start to my Thursday....

Have a great Thursday...

Tuesday

2011-12-27T14:42:00.002-06:00

I slepted in two days in a row till 8am...That's a miracle for me...I never sleep in... I felt guilty for a few moments and then felt great that I slepted in..

This morning Russ and I went to PetSmart to get dog and cat food for the animals...We are set for a while...It's nice to have a gift card and Russ bought more fish for his tank...He had bought a scratch off lottery ticket and won $27 and so he wanted to get some fish...So that was really nice walking out of a pet store without spending money we had in the bank...The pets are set for a few weeks...

This week I need to sit down and plan out a budget for the month of January...and also a menu plan... Kim will be heading back to college in a couple of weeks and we need to sit down and help her pay for it...We have been spending more than we should on everthing from Christmas to food and now it is time to buckle down and tighten the belt big time to make up for what we have spent.. Cancelling somethings that won't make us miss things...just tightening things..Working on a healthy menu plan... My friend Penny gave me a 18 pound turkey she won and didn't want...So it is in the freezer and we will be having that after Kim goes back to college because she is not a turkey eater...So I will be roasting that and making that stretch...We are now working on a ham this week...We are taking a break from it tonight and having chili and corn bread... it is a cold and windy day and chili sounds great and I am making extra for Kim to have or we will freeze it for a later day...

I have been so bad at wasting food and that is stopping..I bought myself a food processor for christmas...Actually this Christmas we bought things that would help out with our goals for 2012...we didn't buy "stuff"...We bought things that made sense to us... I must stretch things big time for the next few months because with chemo treatments at $50 a week with a co- payment and starting my deductible all over again with meds and medical bills and helping Kim with her car payments...I again need to pull the belt even tighter...and making foods stretch as far as I can..

Russ and I are thinking of doing somethings this coming year to bring in some extra $$$'s...Tim and Jessie surprised Russ with a 6 gallon air compressor... Russ was not expecting that at all... We can do many things with it with wood working projects..We are setting $$$'s aside for fun things...Like auctions and we want to re-do things and sell them on Craigs list and on Russ's companies buy and sell thingy they have at work...I have alot of things I can work on during the winter months... I also want to make my sewing machine profitable.. I want to work on some projects to make and sell.. We have been thinking of this for a long time now but never made it work.. Now that I see things differently since I have had cancer I want to make things work out with our dreams...So that is one of our goals for 2012...I am so looking forward to buying things at bargain prices and re-doing them and probably keeping somethings and selling some...

Another goal of ours is to get a new roof for the house and pay it with cash...We have been stretching the roof of ours...Maybe at the end of summer we can get a new roof and not worry about that for years to come....

Another goal is the garden... Depending on my health we are planning a smaller garden..And more fruit trees... Last years garden was a bust...I gave up when I found out that I had cancer....And my heart wasn't into gardening at the beginning of the gardening seasoning either and I realized my body was trying to tell me things and I wasn't listening...This year I am listening...If I don't feel like it I will support the local farmers and just grow tomatoes and peppers and cucumbers... then buy everything else from the local farmers markets.. And this new year I want to buy grass fed meat and chickens... Things are changing little by little in our home..I always wanted to change to organic or natural things without hormones and antibiotics but my family wasn't on board and friends would snicker like I was crazy...instead of listening to my heart I would listen to others and now that I have had cancer I just don't give a hoot what others think...I am doing things like I have wanted all these years...My life has changed this past year and now it is time to listen to my heart.... So that is what will be happening in 2012.... A New Year and a True New Beginning in my life..And this time I have my husband on board with me...And that is all that counts...

Well off to make the chili.....Have a wonderful day....

Days are going fast...

2011-12-26T16:19:00.002-06:00

The days are going fast for Russ's vacation...Geez..It's already Monday and Christmas is already past...

We had a wonderful Christmas with the kids...They were all here at 8 am... It was nice...We opened presents and I didn't even get out my camera...I wanted to savor the moments...After opening presents I fixed a nice big breakfast. French toast, scrambled eggs and bacon and sausage.. It was great.. Then Tim and Jessie had to leave and go to her mom's house...Dave and Dan stay a little while and wanted to go back to their places and take naps...I wanted to take a nap so bad...I foget sometimes I have cancer and the energy just isn't there..After Dan and Dave left I took a nice long nap...Got up and relaxed and then Dan and Dave came back for Christmas dinner...Ham and Homemade mac and cheese and asparagus and corn bread...Pies for dessert..Sent home ham and mac and mac and cheese with the guys.. I collasape after dinner and fell into a deep sleep the whole night..It was great..

Today we took down Christmas for another year...With two kittens and they have been confined since we brought them home...They had the hallway and one bedroom to play in...Now they have the house...One time we let them roam to see what would happen and straight toward the tree they went...So they were happy campers today...We hold the kittens all the time and they love it,,..They are so funny and we are enjoying them so much..

The nicest part of the weekend for me was going to Christmas eve Service... My son Dave joined us with his girlfriend...It was so nice to have him in church once a again... I needed church...I have missed it so and plan on going...I am tired of staying away from things...I want to go at least every other week...But I am starting the New Year off with going to church...It was so nice listening to scripture and singing songs..It just melted my heart...

This week Russ and I are going to get somethings done but mainly we are just going to relax and try and not spend anything..Ha...I said try... :)

Anyways another Christmas has past and it is time to look forward to another new year and hopefully this year coming up will be a healthy one for everyone...

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T19:12:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas....

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones..May your day be filled with many many Blessings..

This is the first year I am all caught up... All presents wrapped and all baking is done.. It is the first year I decided I was not going to stress about things..

I am so looking forward to being with all my kids on Christmas morning..I want to laugh and enjoy it from now on... To many years it has been so stressful and I couldn't wait till it was all over...This year is so different..

Again may your have a very Merry Christmas...You all are so wonderful and I am so thankful for many friends I have made through blogging and my friends I have through church and my wonderful family... Merry Christmas!!!!

Thursday....

2011-12-22T21:29:00.002-06:00

I keep thinking it is Friday...Russ had a half day of work... He is now off from today till the New Year...It will be nice to have him home.. We are going to take a break ...I will have chemo and then the Pet Scan on friday the 30th...Those are the only two things on our agenda next week..

My Son Tim came over to check the truck out.. It was the vacuum hose like I thought.. This is the 3rd time it has had happened in the 10 years we have had this truck...The first 2 times we had it towed... This time Tim had researched online to see if it was the vacuum hose...When he opened the hood it was laying there..It was the top vaccum hose..very easy to fix...he decided to buy another hose which cost $13.... sweet..Tim is such a handyman with everything...He fixed Kim's shower faucet and now the truck and he also fixed Kim's lap top this week and also fixed our lap tops hinge...The hinge has broken on this lap top twice now...Our lap top is pretty old...Like 7 years old...So it's time to put some money away for a new one..We rarely use the desk top anymore... I use to use it all the time and didn't like the lap top that much...How I have changed with that..Other things come before getting a new lap top...

Today I did some baking...not as much as I had hoped to...I am not stressed...I refused to get stressed over things like this anymore...What gets done gets done...So far I have make chocolate peanut butter cups...After making them it is much easier and cheaper to buy the Reese cups... Won't be making them again.. I did make brownies, and I have chex mix already made... Kim is making puppy chow... Maybe I might get time to make cookies...If not so be it...The good thing is I have no desire to eat the treats...I don't like how I feel after eating all the sweets...

Tomorrow I wrap the few things I have left to wrap....

Everyone is coming christmas morning at 8am and then we will have breakfast after opening presents....On the agenda for breakfast will be bacon and eggs and french toast.... my kids love french toast and the bacon and eggs... And who ever wants to stay or come back dinner will be spiral ham and homemade macroni and cheese and asparagus and salad and then pie for dessert...

Well thats it for now...

Another week...

2011-12-21T16:16:00.003-06:00

I can only do one picture at a time...Happy Hannukka to everyone who celebrate it..My Husband does... I do to...It's all part of the Bible.. If you don't read the Old Testament your missing something..I never read it that much till I married Russ..It's all part of the Bible...I know Hannukka started last night..We usually have a special dinner and this year we did not.. Don't know the reason..I think I will have the special night this year the last night of Hannukka...Just do something different..We had soft pretzels last night...

This morning was another round of Chemo... I am half way done with my set of 12...I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel..Man oh man I was listening to other conservations and I don't have it as bad as they do..Goodness.. I feel so Blessed and prayed for each one today as I was coming home.. I thought I had the worse cancer..Of course when your hit with cancer you do think it is worse..I feel so Blessed to have what I have..As I have told many people that having cancer has brought many blessings than the bad parts of it..The good out weight the bad....Yes mine can appear anywhere...But where I have it now I will deal with it and praise God for the blessings that have come out of it..God has been good to me...

When I went to get into the truck to go to Chemo with Kim I turned the key to the truck and aloud bang. went off and the truck died...It smelled like it was burning something..I really didn't want to leave it in the garage...UGH..I tried it again and it turned over but died.. The bang scared the tar out of Kim and I.. So she drove...I love my daughter dearly...but her driving I do not like...She tail gates and has road rage...She admits to road rage... She doesn't do anything about it but yell at other drivers...I use to be like that I have to admit...so she got it from me...Bad mom... She tail gates like my brother...Scares me silly that's why I was going to drive... Well I guess the Lord had other plans...Didn't like them Lord but endured it... Back to the truck...It has done this before and it was the vacuum hose coming disconnected...We have to have it towed..because it won't stay on.. The towing cost more than having the hose connected... We are taking it elsewhere..I know my older son wants to take a look at it and I know a friend wants to take a look at it first..to see if they can help us out...We will let them look... We are waiting till next week to deal with it...In the meantime IF and I mean IF I have to go somewhere Kim can take me...Or I can send her to go and get it... Russ is also home next week so it's no big deal...but my older son will have to deal with going to work other ways..

The kittens are hilarious and we are so enjoying them..They do cry for their momma...Especially the male one...He must have been a momma's boy... The female just loves to cuddle...

Hope you have a wonderful night...

New additions...

2011-12-20T11:16:00.003-06:00

Good morning... I was suppose to bake yesterday... Ha that didn't happen... Instead my daughter Kim and my daughter in law Jessi and I went cat shopping... We had so much fun...I was going to adopted an older cat... Every cat I chose to see was mean as all.. One tried to bite my hand off twice and he went after the girls face who was showing me the cat. At first he was a sweet heart warming up to us and cuddling and then he turned on me..I knew he would not be perfect for my sweetie cat Sophia..I had to keep her in mind at all times.. So we decided to go with a Kitten knowing Sophia would warm up to one...The first place I went to was Earl Mays which is a garden place that has cats and kittens for sale...That is where I got Sophia... So I fell in love with a little female kitten.. I left there to check out the Cedar Rapids Animal Control...I just couldn't connect with any cat.. So back to Earl May we went... Russ in the mean time called me and I told him about the kittens...There was a male and female that Kim fell in love with the male and I had already fallen in love with the female... So I told Russ about them and jokingly said can I have both..He said it was up to me...My jaw dropped to the floor and Kim and Jessi saw my face and they both started jumping up and down.. It was hilarous... 3 grown women were so excited like a child.. So needless to say brother and sister have come home... They are sweet hearts and the dogs have already accepted. Now Sophia is hissing but that is typical of someone else loving her mommy...She has been sitting on the arm of the couch and watches while I hold the kitten...

I have to tell you the names of said kittens...My daughter picked out the names and anyone who knows my daughter will understand this...She has always had a crush on Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburg Penguins Hockey team....So male cats name is Crosby and female cats name is Sidney....In the picture the male is the orange tabby and of course the other one is the famale...

We have a cats play pen that my daughter in law had...They will stay in that while we are gone to chemo and at night.. They love to watch TV... My daughter has them in her room at night...

I wasn't going to get another cat for a while and Russ goes that is all we do is wait for an outcome of something...Lets live life to the fullest...So that is why I decided to get another addition...but it's two additions now...Our house is pretty full... But that's okay...We are very excited...

Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday...

Trying again

2011-12-19T08:20:00.002-06:00

Good Monday Morning...

I posted twice yesterday and both times it did not post...I had downloaded pictures and I don't know if that was the reason...so no pictures with this post and I will see when I go to click the Publish Post if it works or not..

I had a nice weekend...It was very nice going out...

Saturday I watched my beautiful daughter graduate from college... It was so nice seeing her walk the stage...I am so proud of her...She worked very hard.. She has ber BA in accounting now and she will be going back to study for her CPA.. She has a job lined up for her in May..Contract all signed and everything.. For now she will be relaxing and enjoying her free time with no studying...After graduatiing we took Kim and her best friend who came to see her walk the stage out to lunch.. We went to Apple Bee's...They were all prepared for the influx of graduates and families...So it was great...

Friday my daughter in law Jessi asked if I wanted to go to Hobby Lobby... I said sure... I hadn't been in such a long time.. I really haven't been anywhere since August...If I did go out it was dash in and dash out.. Friday I browsed and bought a couple of things... Not much..Stickers to make my own gift tags.. A mini muffin tin to make my own chocolate peanut butter cups... and then I bought a cookie cutter that was in the shape of a dogs bone...Before going to Hobby Lobby we went to this place called Woofies... They make healhty dog treats...So I bought a few treats for my spoiled dogs.. Then saw the dog bone cookie cutter and decided it would be fun makeing some treats for the dogs... After going to Hobby Lobby we went to Pier One Imports...Jessi had a gift card to use and I browsed and did not buy a thing...No sales and stuff was high priced...Loved looking but that was it.. Then I took Jessi out to lunch to Red Lobster.. Both of us love seafood...We had a nice lunch and then came home...I enjoyed it so much and needed that for some reason...

Sunday I was exhauseted from climbing so many stairs at my daughters graduation...We went into the wrong building..We were pretty upset with the college as they do 2 graduations a year and this was so unorganized....NO SIGNS anywhere... When the college graduates walked in they had the ones who earned their Masters and Doctric degrees walk in 2 by 2...very orderly... Then when the ones who earned their BA's... they walked in like cattle...No one could find their college graduate...I knew my daughters colored tassle... So I knew the area but since they walked in like cattle you couldn't tell who was who..Everyone that was around us were in shock... Then they went to call there names and they were doing two different programs at the same time...So you didn't Hear college of business accounting and they would call names...It was just horrible...Kim was more upset that they placed the Professors in front of the students..Most Colleges place the Professors behind the students.. After seeing my son graduated at ISU 2 years ago and how beautiful it was I was expecting the same with my daughters college...Kim said when she walked she almost kepted going out the door because of the unorganized mess... Also they didn't even have a guest speaker for the grads...They had s student the professors pick to speak... and he was horrible..So we were diasppointed in that after 4 years of hard work and all that money spent it should have been so much better..Sorry to vent like that...But it is over and she now has a BA Degree in Accouting..

My body still aches alittle with all the walking and stair climbing but it is much better this morning...So I plan on baking...

I am all caught up with my shopping and wrapping and now this week I can play in the kitchen and bake...

Things I plan on baking...

1) Making chocolate peanut butter cups
2) Sugar Cookies
3) Chocolate chip Cookies.
4) Puppy chow
5) Chex mix
6) Snicker cookies
7) Peanut butter cookies with Hershey Kisses in the middle
8) Toffee Cashew Crunch bars....

And dog biscuits for my spoiled dogs... :)

Have a great Monday....

Thursday

2011-12-15T07:20:00.002-06:00

Good morning...

Yesterday I went for Chemo...It went well. Better than the others...I crocheted the whole time...The chemo nurses that I have they kept commenting on the colors...They don't know one of them are getting the one I was working on.....I have one done and one almost done... I have two more to go...When I go to Kim's graduation while we are waiting to start my hands will be crocheting..I can make a scarf in 2 days...Then I started thinking shoot I have Dr. Begums nurse that is a sweet heart and then the lab nurse who is a sweetie...then the receptionist...ARGH...I am concentrating on the chemo nurses first...one at a time and see what happens...4 first and then see what happens...

I saw Dr. Begum yesterday and she wants me to have a Pet scan...it is a scan of the whole body..A 3 hour scan..I asked if I could have it after Christmas..She wants to know if there is any other cancer...The cancer I have can appear anywhere... So we shall see...I did manage to get the scan done before the year ends and the insurance will cover 100% of it..Yeah... My deductible startss over January 1st... So I am relieved with that...I am calm and nervous at the same time... I am not going to let it get me down for Christmas....I have been so organized this christmas...

I am planning some baking this weekend after my precious daughter oomes home from college...I want to bake with her...of course she is not a cook but I want to teach her this christmas with baking.. She only makes certain things...It's about time she learns a few things.. She has never been interested in cooking...Now my 3 boys love baking and cooking...

I have a few more things that should be coming for christmas...most of it is here...I put a stop to anymore spending... Now is time to sit back and enjoy the holidays...

Can you say a little prayer for a women that I saw at Chemo.... She has gone through chemo and is finished...They removed her port and after it was removed it became infected...the antibiotics she is taking isn't working.... I don't know her name but God does... She is in her 30's....

Now back to crocheting....Have a wonderful day.....

Tuesday night...

2011-12-13T19:58:00.002-06:00

Hope your Tuesday was a good one....

We are suppose to get alot of rain tonight and tomorrow...I am okay with that...don't want snow...Even tho a covering of snow would be fine...Our grass is still green..Hasn't turned brown like it usually does in the winter..For December it sure is mild...

Didn't do much today.. I planned out our budget and paid bills...

Picked up Dan for work and talked with him for a few moments...Love talking with him... Went back and picked him up after his shift...brought two bags of food for him.. He is paying his bills and rent and leaves very little for groceries....I hate seeing my kids struggle...He is always thankful when I give him a few days worth of food..

Last night I picked up more things for baking...Next week I will be baking alot of things.. I can't wait...if I bake now I will eat it...Today I had double stuffed oreos and man oh man I was miserable after eating them..I have cut way back on sugar and when I have it, it really makes me miserable now..

I am baking for my kids so they can take the food home... I know they will love it... This is the first year I will be baking...I normally don't make alot of things..Rum cake I make and chex mix...but this year I want to make cookies for everyone and also chex mix and rum cake...so I have been gathering alittle at a time to have everything on hand...

Tonight Russ and I ran over to the Dollar Tree and bought gift boxes and gift bags.. and some utensils for Dan for the kitchen...The baked goods are going in the gift bags and some gift cards will go in them...I am using the gift bags as stockings this year.

Tomorrow is my chemo day.... I am becoming accustomed to it all...a norm for me... this week went better then the ones before...Only had one day that I ached...My feet bother me and I need to talk with my doctor about it...the nerves in my feet are being affected...Will work it out with the doctor...

Have a great Wednesday....

random thngs...

2011-12-12T15:32:00.002-06:00

I hope you had a wonderful weekend...

As many know we lost one of our pets due to cancer.. The house is so quiet...I knew Molly was a very vocal cat but I didn't realize I would miss her demanding cries.. I know she is at peace and no longer in pain... Which gives me the peace I need...

My christmas shopping is about done. Just a few gift cards to get and then I am done...it feels good to have it all done...all the years before I would be down to the last minute shopping and wrapping and going crazy and I was healthy then... Ha, it took cancer to get me organized and the meaning of christmas...even tho I knew the meaning of Christmas but it just didn't mean the same as it does now...It took cancer to get my attention to open my eyes....And opening my eyes is a good thing.. Alot of the presents are wrapped and that hasn't ever happened... Ha.. I have so enjoyed wrapping and putting bows on the packages and making my own tags... I have never enjoyed this part of Christmas because I would be going crazy Christmas eve wrapping everything and not reflecting on the real meaning... Such a different Christmas and it's all because of my cancer...I am taking the time to smell the roses and enjoying the lights and sounds of Christmas... I hope all that are healthy take the time to enjoy the sounds and smells of christmas..Don't do what I have done all my life and not take the time to enjoy... There is another thing I am taking the time to do...Is watching christmas movies... I never watched them.. But I have been watching them and enjoying them most of the time... I am not a movie watcher but have become one...

I did buy something for the kitchen... I have always wanted one and never wanted to splurge for it... I love watching cooking shows and I love recipe books...A huge hobby for me is collecting cook books... It is so hard to part with them... One of the things I have wanted to do the last few years is to make my own creamy soups... and alot of recipes say use a food processor... so I bought a food processor...I can't wait to use it... But I can't till after Christmas...it is a Christmas present.. Russ said he would buy one for me and pick an ugly color....So I didn't want to take that chance...I have been slowly changing my small appliances with red ones...My big appliances are white....I love the crisp white appliances with the red smaller ones...Of course my kitchen aide mixer is white...it is pretty old...it was my moms and I learned to bake with it...It is in great shape and works great...It sits on my counter at all times... It brings back so many memories and I swear I smell her bread making...She use to make bread with the machine...they didn't have bread machines back then... So this gal for the new year is going to be start making more and more things from scratch....

I have alot of plans for the New Year... I will be talking about them at another time... A couple of months ago I wouldn't even think about the New Year...I didn't know what to expect..But I feel healed and I feel things are going to be so much better health wise for Russ and I... One thing I will never do again is NOT go to the doctors... I was stubborn and didn't want to go...Another thing is I told Russ that in January he was going to get a physical... He has put it off because of what I was going through...dentist, primary doctor, his cardiologist... I told him we will have to pay the deductible and we might as well start in January.. No more not going to the dcotor...I knew something was up at the beginning of spring that I wasn't into the garden as I once was...I didn't have the energy... I should have known something was up...I have to accept doctors are going to be part of my life...UGH...Very hard to accept for me...

Again I encourage all of you men and woman who read to check yourself... I will be reminding you all next year...Men can get breast cancer to...it is more common than you think... So please check yourselves... even tho it is christmas time and there was always a reason why I didn't go to the doctors,,, a holiday or birthday... the best gift you can give is taking care of yourself for your loved ones... Russ told me the other day which I cried, he said when I was in the hospital with the infection he told me he hated coming home from the hospital to an empty house... he said it was horrible... So he begged me to take care of myself...If something is wrong is to go to the doctor...I promised him I would..Again check your girls out....

Have a wonderful night....

Early Sunday morning...

2011-12-11T06:10:00.002-06:00

It's been a hard couple of days for me...I am getting through them..My daughter is handling Molly's death better than I did on Friday...I was going to go into detail but won't... I am so thankful I had 13 years with Molly and how she had comforted me during the past few months..She was a very feisty cat but so lovable at times...

Russ and I are waiting to get another cat....Right now with chemo I will wait...Everyone in the family is betting that we will have one before the New Year... Sophia keeps looking for Molly...The dogs don't care because Molly didn't like dogs and would just smack them for no reason..As I said she was a very feisty cat...i do miss her cries...She was a very vocal cat...Well all our animals love to talk...And Molly did the most talking to us...So I miss her crying..

Yesterday I didn't want to be in the house and needed to get out...I hadn't been Christmas shopping at all this year...it's been on line shopping for me...So I decided to venture out...I prepared myself for long lines and lots of people... I brought my handsantizer so after each store I would use it... We went to Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond, Michael's, and Lowes.... I was shocked... No lines and no crowds 2 weeks before Christmas and no lines.... I know alot of people went out on Black Friday...I was just shocked that there were hardly anyone out shopping and this was around noon time...My Christmas shopping is about 95% done....It felt so good to get out and about...My daughters last day was yesterday at Kohls as she has finals and then graduates...I would ask her if they were crazy busy this time of year and she said no not really that she had been surprised how slow they have been....

Russ and I stopped at Sonics to eat lunch...It was nice...Then we came home and heard from our son Tim...He had time to fix Kim's shower faucet...I had a plumber come twice and payed them about $300 for both visits and the knob still broke...The plumber told me that we needed a new tub faucet and it would cost between $600 to $700 or more... So I told him I would think about it...Well with my cancer we just couldn't afford it...So Tim has been doing research on how to replace the faucet....We have another bathroom that backs up to Kims bathroom.. There is a small linen closet between them...In order to get behind her tub we had to go through this linen closet....So I emptied the linen closed and Tim got to work cutting a hole in the dry wall...What they had done when they built our house is they put the tubs in first and then added the linen closet..so you had all the studs in front of the plumbing...He was going to have to cut the studs in order to get to the plumbing...It was becoming a major job...and maybe to much for Tim and Russ to handle...All I kepted thinking was we were going to have to pay for a emergency visit with a plumber and have no water for a while...So Russ and Tim went to Menards to get some saw blades to cut through the studs....They decided to check in the plumbing area and see if they had knobs like Kim's...They checked and came home with blades in hand...Then Tim went into Kim's bathroom and checked the faucet out and the knob.... Turned off the water and took apart the knob thingy... Tim said Menards has this part...So back they went to get it...The plumber had put the wrong parts in it from another maker... twice the plumber did that... PLUS!!!!! Delta faucets are life time warranty and they would have sent me the correct part free from get go....The plumber never told me that delta faucets were life time warranty.. And Menards gave the telephone number to Tim and Russ to call them.... So Tim and Russ came home with the new Delta part...And it works....costing a total of $10 to repair something that the plumber was going to cost me up $700 for a new one and $300 from previous visits.. Now Kim has a working shower....She had been using the main bathroom to take her shower in when she came home from college.. Tim kepted apologizing for making a hole in the linen closet that he should have checked the knob first..Tim was going on what I had told him what the plumber said that had to happen......We had some dry wall and Tim put it back together and we will mud the area today....Will prime it and then put the linens back in place.. I was thrilled that Tim and Russ were able to fix it for $10....

Jessie and I saw so many commercials about Kentucky Fried Chicken yesterday and we were craving for it...So Jess and I went and bought KFC for Tim and Russ and of course for Jess and I... We pigged out after the plumbing was done...It was so good... We got the special that came with the double choc. cake....Oh my goodness it was so good..I had a sliver of a piece and enjoyed every morsel...Sent some home with Tim and Jess...even left over chicken to...

Russ will work on all the toilets while he is on vacation between Christmas and New Years...they all ghost flush...Wasting money...Kim's sink faucet is dripping and that will be next...Things start falling apart and everything is 15 years old in the house...

One thing at a time to get fixed...At least we can cross off that tub faucet of Kim's....

I ache this morning from the cold and running around I did yesterday....Resting today...

When I went to Michael's yesterday I bought lots of yarn to make my chemo nurses some winter scarves....I need to work everyday on them...I have 4 to make...Yup...I left them to the last moment...It will keep me busy...

Have a great Sunday...

Molly

2011-12-09T15:55:00.002-06:00

Please keep my daughter and I in your prayers...I had to put Molly, my angel cat down today..I won't go into details but it was so very hard to do it..But the cancer won with Molly.... Kim my daughter has had this cat since she was 9... My daughter is 22... The hardest part was telling her.. And she has college finals next week...So please keep Kim in your prayers..

Animals are such a big part of our family..

Christmas Spirit is coming back to our home..

2011-12-09T07:25:00.003-06:00

Good Morning...

Yesterday was a fantastic day.....first thing was my sister in law and her surgery and she is doing fine...Do you know she had a mastectomy and they released her the same day...we were in shock.. That is major surgery and they did the surgery as a out-patient... We talked with her last night and she was in great spirits...

Yesterday I couldn't stop cleaning and de-cluttering all the mail and news papers..Everything is cleaned..The last few weeks with chemo I haven't had the energy to do anything.. I was getting through each birthday... I was really beginning to dislike Christmas this year...I didn't have the energy and I was trying so hard to keep the spirit alive in this family...My kids aren't into Christmas either... It has nothing to do with my cancer.. It has everything to do with the economy and them struggling with expenses and also plans for next year... I didn't like the spiral we were all heading...Yes the house is decorated....The tree is up...I had only lit the tree once since putting it up a week before Christmas...Last night I lit the tree...It was so pretty... I am back, I am beginning to love this holiday season and what the season is all about....

I realized one thing and this one simple thing changed everything... Why my energy was zapped... I wasn't drinking water...My other sister in law who is a oncology nurse told me I must drink water...Well with the first set of chemo made me so sick when I drank water.. I couldn't even talk about water without gagging... So this past week I have been making myself drink more and more water...The second set of chemo doesn't make water taste bad...So when I started drinking water again I could tell my body was absorbing it and I started feeling so much better...My spirits started to sore and my energy level is back up...Water is all that it took to get me back to my old self....

Last night I got a good nights sleep...it felt good... Today I have a lot of things to work on...Budget and bills and this weekend I will be finishing up my Christmas shopping...Then I will be concentrating the next two weeks planning on baking for my kids...From Chex mix to cookies to brownies and fudge...I normally don't bake like this but I have this itch to bake this year and send them home with goodies...they all miss my home cooking...I want to bring the spirit back to our family...

I asked Russ what he wanted for Christmas dinner....He wants a spiral ham...cornbread, and other goodies...so that is what Russ will get and I will tell whoever else with our kids if they want dinner please come...It may just be Russ and I and Kim...or it can be everyone...I don't know...They are all coming in the morning for presents and breakfast...that is the big thing is a big Christmas breakfast in our home.....

Next weekend my daughter graduates from college...We are excited...But we don't have to move her back just yet...She goes for another semester for her CPA...It will be so nice to have her home for a month...Most college students have their finals next week...Praying for them...it is a stressful time for them...

Well I am off to get some things done ...We had a light dusting of snow last night and it is just so pretty with the dusting...

Have a wonderful day...

Update on my sister in law...

2011-12-08T11:29:00.002-06:00

Thank you for all your prayers for Judy....She came through surgery and everything went well...Her lymph nodes are clear and they caught the cancer very early and she will NOT have to go through chemo or radiation...I am so thrilled to hear that. I was doing the happy dance...God is so good....

My day is brighter to hear this news...

I am running on about 3 hours of sleep... For some reason this time my reaction to the chemo is being wide awake and full of energy...At 1am I was cleaning my kitchen... Russ wanted to make sure if I was alright and he came searching for me and saw I was cleaning the kitchen....He asked me what was wrong... I said I can't sleep between him raising the roof with his snoring and I came up to sleep on the couch....well I couldn't sleep so instead of tossing and turning I decided to clean... He just shook his head....Finally around 2:30am I saw a beer in the refrig...I normally don't drink it... But shoot I wanted to try anything to get me relaxed and tired... So I drank a whole beer... Never have I ever finished one.. so I crawled back into bed...about 45 minutes later I fell asleep....alarm went off at 5:30... Fixed Russ's breakfast and lunch and thought I would fall asleep on the couch after he left...NOPE....been wide a wake since....No caffeine in this body is needed....Can't sit ...So I have been sorting and cleaning...Took Holly for a walk...Not tired.... I will probably crash tonight like a lead balloon hopefully....I feel great today...I love the energy I have...I needed this time to sort and clean..I have been sitting and resting for way to long...

Well off to make some lunch....

Again thank you for praying for my sister in law...

9 more to go...

2011-12-07T16:29:00.003-06:00

Good evening to you all... I hope you had a wonderful Wednesday and it was filled with many Blessings...

Chemo went well today... I saw another doctor and he was very nice..I am so glad I have this group of doctors that the Lord has provided for me..They all are so nice and take the time to talk to me...Not this 5 minute stuff... We talked about some side affects which are normal and he told me this is the time to take care of me and not everyone else...they all can defend for themselves because they are all adults...Yes it is in my records I have 4 grown adults... He told me to talk care of me...Listen to my body and if it says rest I am to rest... Russ heard everything and he said she will rest...

So this afternoon I got one thing accomplished...My Christmas cards....They are done and stamped and will be mailed tonight when we go and get dinner...it feels great to get this done. Last year I filled everything out and never mailed them...So they will be mailed...

Today is Dave's birthday and he stopped by and got his present and gift card and was thrilled with what I got him.. Tonight he will be celebrating with friends...

Today I received a letter in the mail from our bank that our card has been compromised....So we cancelled it and Christmas will be done in cold hard cash and no more Internet shopping from now on..Was not happy...Russ and I have decided that we will be dealing with cold hard cash for now on...If we don't have the cash on hand we won't get it....I know the debit card is not really a visa card but this is nuts...I know there are alot of hackers out there....So I have to be on alert till we get our new one...we will still be dealing with cash on hand...UGh...An eye opener for us...

My sister in law is a trooper with her second bout with breast cancer...her spirits seemed to be good...I will be talking with her tonight once again...They caught it very early...She was going to put it off but decided not to because of what I am going through..

I am deciding on what to do now....If I will have a double mastectomy or not and have a double reconstructive surgery... Alot to think about and talk with my chemo doctor...Last time I saw her she didn't think it was necessary to have both removed but now with Judy I have so many questions...I don't want to have to go through this again...I am just like that...Of course the cancer I have can appear anywhere in my body at any time..it's not hormonal cancer.. That is why Russ and I have decided to do things differently this coming new year and start doing things different now...Bringing in things that are as close to nature as possible...Organic things I can afford and making my own soy candles and making my own scents that make the house smell wonderful....instead of the chemical ones...I am going to devote one side of my house to roses and wonderful scented flowers and make my own potpourri with my own oils... or buying from bloggers that make their own healthy oils...I bought a organic cucumber the other day and it was so good...the week before I bought a regular cucumber from walmarts..Well Russ picked it out...It was nasty tasting...So things are changing...Russ and I will be going grocery shopping at Pioneer foods through the winter in Iowa city...Next year will be buying beef from a local farmer who grass feeds..We met one this past summer and we never followed through.. No more regular eggs...We will be buying organic eggs...I have been off and on...This week I bought organic eggs and my stomach is not bothering me like it does when I have regular eggs...We are going to be changing things weekly...Chemicals no longer being bought for this house...

Anyways I know I bore you with this so I will stop...

It has been rather cold...UGH..Tomorrow we might get more snow...I am glad chemo was today and not tomorrow....

Please say some prayers for Judy as she goes for surgery tomorrow....and we have other friends who are ill and God knows who they are....

Have a wonderful night and may it be filled with many blessings...

Prayer is needed...

2011-12-06T19:43:00.002-06:00

I am coming to you to please pray for my husbands sister...her name is Judy...20 years ago she had breast cancer...She had a mastectomy and now her other breast has a tumor and it is a small one..she caught it early...She will be having a mastectomy this thursday, Please pray that it hasn't spread to her lymph nodes...and pray that she heals quickly...

Remember how important it is ladies to check your girls...she caught it early and she may not have to go through chemo if it hasn't spread...

Again I thank you for your prayers...Lisa

Tuesday....

2011-12-06T07:58:00.002-06:00

Good morning to you....

Remembering my Mother's birthday today.. Mom as been gone since Feb. 2000. I don't think there is a day that passes by that I don't think of her... Mom taught me alot and I have so many things in my home that were hers...Paintings, curtains, quilts...So she is always in my thoughts.. Always here in spirit... Common phrases I hear often in my thoughts...I don't think I told her enough how much I loved her...So if your mom is still with you please let them know how you feel about them...

This morning I met another neighbor...As I said the other day I am going to make a point of meeting my neighbors. Ha..at 8 am this morning I had a knock on the door. It was a gentleman very well dressed... He explained to me he knocked the mail box off with his mirror...He said he put it back on but it is loose..I said okay that it is an easy fix because the garbage men have knocked it before...I thanked him for letting me know..He said he would fix it but he was leaving to go out of town and when he gets back he would get back with us...I told him okay but to please drive safely because of the roads...The roads are slick..He thanked me for saying that. You know a few years back before this whole cancer stuff I would not have been so nice...Many times I have said Cancer has changed me...How I love this change...Always let your light shine regardless of the circumstances...

Last night Russ and I did some food shopping...Oh so nice to get some food in the house..Healthy food that is...I have been so bad with eating wrong foods...It's so hard to eat something with out carbs in it and I sorta went on a binge with eating carbs...So I watched what I bought...seeds and nuts I can have and cheese I can have to...So my snacks are going to be seeds and nuts and cheese and pretzel sticks... Bread is hard for me not to have much of it...Rye bread sandwiches have less carbs so my lunches will consist of that with sliced tomatoes and cucumbers and carrots...The chips are my down fault so I didn't buy them...Russ wants to go on the diabetic diet somewhat. He says it is healthier for us.. So we did very good but then topped off dinner with chinese from HyVee...Have to admit It was good...But it is high in carbs..So I will be challenging myself in to learning to make our own chinese foods...less on the rice and lo-mein noodles and more on the veggies...

Yesterday I did some cleaning but not like I wanted....I realized yesterday that it may be my blood pressure pills causing me to be very tired..I have lost weight and I haven't cut back on the dosage...So I will be making an appointment with my cardiologist to talk about my BP pills...I am fine till I take them and then I get so tired after taking them...

Today the weather is cold...Bone cold...UGH... We have snow on the deck and the roads are slick they say...So I am staying indoors...Will be filling out my Christmas cards...Haven't done that yet...So I will put the Christmas music on an sit and enjoy doing my cards today....

Have a great day....May it be filld with many blessings......

Monday morning....

2011-12-05T06:37:00.002-06:00

Good morning to you....I hope you had a wonderful weekend...

Does everyone have all their Christmas shopping done??? Not I..I have some more to go...

Friday I spent the afternoon planning our budget and menu for the rest of December...It was good to see numbers on paper...I have never gotten use to doing it on the computer..I like a budget planner to reach for at all times...Yes I do redo it alot of times but I don't mind...I felt I got alot accomplished with the budget...Now I just have to follow it..

Saturday Russ ran some errands...pet food and a few other things...Then Saturday afternoon we worked in the garage..Well Russ did..Since we aren't hiring anyone to remove snow...We just couldn't see it in the budget...You can't plan for snow storms or snow removal...at $40 at a time we just couldn't do it...My daughter will be home from Mid December through Jan 10 or something like that..She will be here to help...I bought tire chains for the big snow blower...we have always wanted them...So I helped Russ put them on...They were difficult but it is done...We put out some wooden Christmas yard ornaments to..They are all Penguins...A gaggle of penguins...

As I was working on the wooden ornaments out in the yard a neighbor walked across the street to talk with me...Her name is Allison.. She told me she knows someone that knows me...Allison works with Deb.. Deb told her about me and how sick I was in the hospital before.. Allison asked how I was and I told her I am making it...She told me she knows what I am going through...She had breast cancer a year ago..She is so young to have it...She has a two little girls ages 3 and 5 now...Her mom helped her the whole summer...She in remission...We talked about what she went through and what I was going through...it was so good to talk to her.. I realized that we as neighbors are so closed up and don't talk with each other...If I had known what she was going through I could have helped....My Mission is to stay in touch with the neighbors I know and want to get to know others on our end of the block....What a wake up call for me...Allison and I promised each other to stay in touch...not go through the winter without talking... What a blessing it was to talk with her...I was feeling pretty low recently because I hadn't been out to stores or anything...I have felt so closed up and alone recently... With talking to Allison and also being out in the fresh air was so good for me...My attitude has changed...

Sunday, Russ and I went for a drive....I wanted to go for a drive and it was much needed...It was so good to see God's world....it was very nice to just drive...Russ promised me if the roads are good we would be going on roads trips to see parts of Iowa...

This week is another one of my Son's birthday....Wednesday it is...Goodness my kids are getting old.. HEE HEE....Well that means I am getting old to...not good... :)

This week on my agenda is work on some projects...I had totally given up on that...Just wasn't motivated...Getting out in the yard and going on the road trip did me a world of good...Planning my budget was good for me to...On paper the budget looks good but now I just have to follow the budget...

Today I will be doing some deep cleaning and then work on some projects....I hope you have a wonderful day....

reflecting...

2011-12-02T08:32:00.002-06:00

Good morning....Hope you have a wonderful weekend...We are suppose to get rain, sleet and maybe some snow flakes...It was snowing pretty good for a short time last night and it was so pretty...It didn't accumulate...so that was nice..

With this second set of chemo I am going through, I just don't have the energy to do what I want...UGH. I had energy with the first set and they said I should be fine with this one...wrong.. That is the only thing that is wrong with this chemo is the energy...nothing else..no nausea..My mind races with all the things I want to do..But I just can't get motivated...It has been frustrating me to know end...Then I heard the whisper that said take advantage of the down time and plan.. I thought to myself plan what?? I started to get mad because I want to do things not plan things...

So I was grumpy yesterday and was actually pretty upset with that message...I kept telling myself I want to be a doer not a planner right now..I don't want to sit and rest...Urrrrrr.. So I fell asleep once again on the couch as I have done many times since starting the second set of chemo...I did manage to vacuum the living room and I was happy it looked nice...

I woke up in a better mood and saw one of the library books that I checked out and never read and they need to be returned in 3 days...I checked out a book on Power foods...I realized that the beginning of this year my plans were going to change our foods to healthier eating and also try to bring more foods into the house that were organic or free of chemicals and hormones....We started off okay and planted our garden and it did bad because I found out I had cancer... Then everything went out the window to make things easier....Then I found out I had diabetes and the sugar free garbage crepted back into our lives...I realized yesterday I felt like this a long time ago with the sugar free stuff...I had no energy....So I am planning to eliminate the sugar free and pop once again in my life....I wrote down all the power foods and will spend some time today scanning the recipes in the book to a file on the computer...I was going to copy and print...then decided it would waste so much ink...I would copy them to my computer and then the ones I want to try and like I will print them off and put them in my favorite recipe book....Planning... Planning on eating healthier once again...

I know sometimes God makes you rest and reflect on things that needs to get done...instead of constantly cleaning...I am feeling so much better today but I am doing more planning today... God wants me to sit and plan right now... From budgeting to things that need to get done in the house..to what I need to do to heal...It's funny how angry I have been because I have had no energy and now I am enjoying the planning right now...How God changes your "tude" when I would just listen to Him....

When Russ came home from work and he asked what was up boy did he get a earful from me in what I had been experiencing...I hadn't been telling him about the energy part...I didn't want him worrying...Well he heard it last night and of course with this cancer and chemo I cry more than I ever have cried in our whole marriage...He is finally getting use to my crying...Anyways I told him that going through all this chemo that I am not going through it and not change my food...That it is a waste for me to fight the cancer if I don't change our foods that come into our home...no more sugar free stuff and that I want to change things that come into the door...Start off slow. No more foods that contain hormones and antibiotics in them...Wild fish not farm raised with hormones.. I wanted to do this a long time ago...Russ said he agreed that we need to change...That he was on board...He said he has been feeling pretty blah to and that we need to start somewhere....So our life is about to change and it is all because I needed to sit and plan things...

Today I will be planning our budget for the next 6 months...The next 6 months will be pretty tight with the money...Kim will be going another semester to get her CPA...and with my cancer and chemo treatments 10 more to go...and then surgery...We will have to start over with the $3500 deductible as of January 1st....So alot of planning...Our truck needs to go in for repairs...Kim's car needs to be checked out..it's still doing the same thing...Our Cobalt needs to go in for a recall...So there is alot of things that need to be done...Tim and Russ are going to fix our plumbing...Our toilets are ghost flushing and Kim's sink faucet is starting to drip...So we need to stop this wasteful water dripping and flushing...they are easy fixes and not to expensive...and will save us money...So it's all about planning the budget and we are so thankful for the bonus this year...it will help us with Kim's tuition and the plumbing being fixed...God is so good...

Well I have rambled alot and sorry this is boring.....Time to plan...

need some help with something...

2011-11-30T22:13:00.002-06:00

My daughter told me she wanted a sweater that has animals across the chest...I don't remember what the name is... A name came to my mind was shetland wool sweaters but they have snow flakes on them..They were popular way back...If someone can remember please email me or leave a comment for me... They are more like lodge type sweaters or ski sweaters...I would appreciate it if anyone remembers what the name is..I have spent hours searching...Tried Lands End, Eddie Baure, LL bean and nothing...

Thanks guys....Lisa

Chemo went well..

2011-11-30T17:27:00.002-06:00

Chemo went well today...They gave me half the dosage of benedryl... The room was not spinning today...My precious daughter in law came with me and then had to drive 2 hours to her college to finish her senior project this year... I can not say enough about her...she is precious that's all and I am so honored to have her as a my daughter in law...Please pray that she can get a job after college..Her name is Jessica....God is in control and will provide her with one when it is the right time...If you can send up a prayer for her I would so appreciate it..

Another prayer request for a special friend and her hubby...His name is Bill and he is at the mayo clinic for congestive heart failure and they are doing test on him...His wife's name is Jill and please pray for her for her strength through all this...God is in control...Please keep Bill and Jill in your prayers...

Thank you everyone for prayers in advance....Lisa

Cold and windy day...

2011-11-29T09:08:00.002-06:00

I can't seem to get warm today...It is cold and the winds are starting to pick up..I turned up the heat to see if it will help...I have had the heat set at 68...I thought I was use to that temp...not today..

I haven't been commenting lately because my lap top is at my son's house..We are picking it up tonight.. I miss the lap top even tho it is slow as molasses..I just enjoy sitting on the couch and commenting then to be in a room...

My Son his birthday is today..25 years old...Man where does the time go..We are going to go see him tonight..

I have errands to run...not going into any places...just dropping off bills in the mail and taking my other son to work...It's nice to get out...The 4 walls have been closing in on me...Didn't go out last weekend because of the crowds...So I am looking forward to just going to the post office and then taking Dan to work...

Will be working on the budget today..So Thankful Russ has a job and we are getting bonuses this year...Talk about God's timing... When Kim was here on Thanksgiving break we went over her finances and our finances to see if we will have enough for her next semester to study for her CPA...She gets her bachelors degree in December, I will be watching her cross the stage as a college graduate...Then she goes back in January to study for her CPA...We weren't sure between Kim's saving while she interned the beginning of the year to us putting money away and with me having all these medical bills if we could help...With our bonus and her savings she has enough to pay for the semester...And have just enough left over for living expenses for a month or so and we can put away some for her..God is so good..it is such a stress reliever to know she has enough...

Christmas is lean this year but it will be full of love and family and fun.

Last night I was watching Diane Sawyer on the ABC evening news...I was fixing dinner and I heard her say if this wasn't justice ...She said 2 or 3 men had won the lottery with one ticket...And she felt they didn't deserve it because they were already rich that they were bankers...My jaw dropped when she said that it wasn't justice...It bugged me all night long...Our family is not rich...our family is not poor...Yes I would have loved to win that money....but we didn't...But why does the media come down on people who are succeeding in life and why doesn't it give them the right to play the lotto if they wanted to...What is America coming to...Is she going to come down on someone who is unemployed and plays the lotto?? Should they be allowed to spend the unemployment money on lotto to?? When has it become wrong to play the lotto if your rich or poor...It's the individuals right....little by little our rights are being taken away...Little by little if you make money your are condemened....Of course today the story has changed and the bankers were covering up for someone else...and then there is a man who claims the winning ticket but he lost the ticket...so today the story has changed...but what burns me up is questioning the men and saying is it justice for these bankers to win the lotto...Yes the economy is horrible...yes we have to worry about lay offs in the future...I have bills up my butt but it doesn't give me the right to say these men should not get it when they paid for the ticket if they did..it doesn't give me or anyone else the right to say it isn't justice....This is my opinion...I am curious what will come out of this lotto thing...

Well need to run the errands...Hope your having a wonderful day...

Monday

2011-11-28T10:18:00.002-06:00

I am so glad it is Monday, Everything is back to normal...I run better on a normal routine...

I watched so many Christmas movies this past weekend than I have done in my life time..I am not a movie watcher and I don't like sad movies where you bawl your eyes out..I know many have good endings but still the crying just gets to me...My husband needed a well deserved long weekend with watching movies and he chose the Christmas movies.. This year however I did enjoy the Christmas movies maybe it is because I have cancer and each movie touched me.. I have watched some of the movies before and they didn't have an affect on me and this year the meanings were so different.. Yes I did enjoy them and yes I bawled at some... But well worth it...So I know in the next few weeks I will be watching more... What a difference cancer makes in your life..You look at things in such a different light...

I cooked my turkey on Saturday and Dave and Dan were here to help eat it..It was nice...We didn't even sit at the table like a normal Thanksgiving dinner...They wanted to watch football...I never saw two guys consume as much as they did...They told me they missed my cooking.. Russ was in heaven eating my food...He doesn't like change and was not crazy about the new recipes that Tim and Jessie had...I loved the new recipes and I do like change when it comes to food...I sent the boys home with some left overs and Russ and I had the last of the turkey last night...I am now tired of turkey...I thought I would have enough left overs for a few more nights..NOPE...but that is okay..I enjoy seeing my boys loving my cooking...it is so well worth watching them loving it...

I have been real achy with this chemo....They told me I was going to feel like I had the flu...I can't say it is like the flu at all..My bones ache all over...especially my legs...Knees are bad so when I go for my next round of chemo on Wednesday I am going to talk with my doctor about it..My hands are okay...I feel as long as my hands are okay I doing great because I can still do things, sew, crochet, quilt, cook and clean...but I have to rest my legs if I am up and cleaning or cooking..Tylenol helps alot...Nothing else works.. I was okay but on Friday the acheness hit me big time...That's why I caved in and watched movies with Russ...Laying on the couch help the legs...

I am not doing any Monday shopping on the web...Bought things before Black Friday and found things cheaper....I was going to do the magazine sales for $5 on Amazon but they are auto renewal the following year...don't want that..I was going to do them as gifts for a year... So will not get caught up in that...I don't like they will auto renewal things...Oh well...

I hope everyone is having a great day....I do need to get started on a few projects...and some cleaning from a long weekend...

The day after

2011-11-25T15:01:00.003-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving...It was a first for me with no cooking...Well I made stuffing and a chocolate pie but that is not cooking to me..We had a wonderful time at Tim and Jessie's.. Both sets of parents were there and it was a very nice time...Tim and Jessie both cooked their first Thanksgiving meal for the family...Jessie tried some of the recipes that Chef Gordan Ramsey makes and I have to say they were outstanding...Different but outstanding..We had a wonderful time...

Now it is count down with birthdays and Christmas for us....I love Christmas and holiday spirit...I plan on lighting candles and enjoying the simple things about Christmas...What doesn't get done doesn't get done...Spending time enjoy and loving family is more important...

Today we followed Kim back to her dorm ... Her car is acting up and we had it at the mechanics on Monday and we knew it was the cam shaft sensor and it was replaced...They said it was bad and sometimes the crank shaft sensor goes bad to but they said it was fine...So Wednesday Kim drove to work an hour away and the car was fine on the way...On the way home at 11pm her car did the same thing...She was able to start the car and it drove great the rest of the way...So this morning we took it back to Goodyear..We have found they are quite honest there. They took it out and drove and drove the car and nothing...He thought maybe the ECM wires were going bad but it never acted up and he didn't want to replace the wire because they are very pricey....She had to be at work at 3pm...I was going to let her use my car but we can't be without a reliable car...Her car is fine while it is going under 2 RPM...Which is good..She doesn't do any highway driving while she is there..Only on the way home..The mechanic thought maybe on the way home wednesday night it was like rebooting itself... So we shall see...When we got to her college I asked how did it drive and she said better then ever..So maybe it did reboot...The next time she comes home it will be graduation and that is 3 weeks away and we will be following her home... I told Kim when she starts her real job in 6 months she can trade it in and get a newer car...She said she was...She has to go back for another semester to study for her CPA....So only 6 months this car has to hold up..It's been a good car...2004 Neon...but they are notorious for this problem...and hard to catch it in action..

We did not go black friday shopping...I will be shopping on line... My oncologist told me NOT to go out on black friday...I know I went to pick up my older son last night so he could check Kim's car and see if they had replaced the sensor and not just bypassed it with the computer code...as I was going past Walmarts the parking lot was totally full and it was at 8pm...The cars were all over the place...We went through the ads Thursday morning and we didn't see anything we had to have or anything else that our family wanted...We already have TV's... We have the old fashion ones and one flat screen TV...We don't need any other electronic gadget..None of us wanted to fight the crowds...We thought about sitting in the parking lot and laughing at everyone...Sorry if you went out.. I just don't get it because everything I saw in the ads to me were priced more then weeks before...It's a head game thinking you are getting the best deal...Then this morning when we went by the stores to dropped off Kim's car the parking lots were not filled at all.. I know they opened at 10pm last night....I was sorta shocked that they were empty...This afternoon however the parking lots were filled once again after the sales...so who knows..

I'm alittle bummed without having left over turkey...I do have my 16 pound bird that is still half frozen in the refrig...I was going to fix it today but with Kim's car and with us following her back to college I will be fixing it tomorrow for Russ and I...and my son Dan..Kim and Dave don't like Turkey...So we will enjoy many meals with it and freeze some to...Russ will be having a few turkey sandwiches for lunches at work..

The next couple of weeks is full of birthdays...Tim and Jessie and Dave....so Tomorrow Russ will go out to Lowe's to get something for Tim...I will be getting something for Jessie during the week...and ordering something for Dave... Then I can concentrated on Christmas....

Well that is about it for now....The reaction from Chemo is still okay..I do ache...my bones do and they said I would..Last night I was very achy..but today is better even with driving it is better...I will tell you it is a whole lot better than feeling sick to my stomach like I did with the first set of chemo...I was so nervous about this second set...I know it was only the first one I had but I can deal with it right now...One day at a time...

Have a wonderful weekend...

Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T19:09:00.002-06:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE....May it be filled with joy, peace and love...

I hope you are able to spend it with loved ones and be thankful for everything you have....

I am so Thankful for my God, family and friends and life...

P.S. I don't even feel like I have had any chemo whatsoever...Thank you for all your prayers...I am very thankful for all of my blogging friends and friends from my church family... Love you all...

First Day

2011-11-22T19:57:00.002-06:00

This was the first day of the new chemo treatments...I was nervous, prayers helped calm me down...Saw the Doctor and we talked about the new treatments...then off to chemo I went...

I had my tote bag filled with different things because I was told this one takes longer...So I had my crochet project and then some mags to read.. I was prepared to work on everything..

The nurse hooked me up and I asked her what was the bag filled with...I am always curious in what they put in me...She said saline solution...They like hydrating you...So I started my crocheting...And I started to feel really weird... So the massage therapist came to massage my feet...And I said man I am getting sleepy while crocheting and I feel woozy...The nurse her name is Lisa to, and she goes oh it is probably the Benedryl...She had forgotten to tell me the second bag was that...I had never had bendryl...I said goodness I thought you put booze in my saline solution... I felt I was slurring my words and things were spinning..The Benedryl I had to have just in case you have a allergic reaction to the chemo...so they were prepping me just in case...Ha that tote bag I took well it was never touched because I was so drousy....ha...One nurse said to me at the end that they will lower the dosage next week...I am happy about that...

The chemo part went well...The nurse sat and watched me for 15 minutes to make sure I wasn't having an allergic reaction....I didn't...with all the bendrly I don't think I had a chance...I do know I can not drive with the chemo treatments....and the good part this type of chemo treatments is half as long...so we were in and out....Of course I laid on the couch this afternoon while the benedryl wore off and tonight I am much better....I don't feel like I have had a chemo treatment...Hopefully it will remain this way thanks to all the prayers...

Tomorrow I start making homemade stuffing for dinner to take to my son and his wife's house for Thanksgiving ...Then early Thanksgiving morning I will make a chocolate pie...I feel so Blessed in not having to worry about a huge dinner....Even tho I will be cooking a turkey on Friday but there is no pressure...we just want turkey left overs..

Have a wonderful evening...sorry my check spell didn't know how to corret spell benedryl...

Sunday morning...

2011-11-20T07:09:00.002-06:00

Good Morning...I am so enjoying time spent with my daughter...

Saturday Russ and I were up and at the grocery store by 7am...It was nice but there were alot of people with the same idea of beating the crowds...Everywhere I went people were coughing and NOT covering there mouths, so I shopped as fast as I could...Had my list and was off and running...Russ was having a hard time keeping up with me...My kids and I have often complained to him he moves so slow at times and yesterday was no different...I had to keep telling him to move it. I am so happy because I got my turkey...16 pound bird... Yeah...

We took out all the Christmas boxes from underneath the stairs and we have decided after dragging out the tree box and 13 rubber maid containers that we have way to much...I never get everything out...We have village scene that we have NOT had out in years...no place to put it..well I think that is going...We have 25 Christmas bears...have been collecting one each every year for our entire marriage...Okay it was fun at the time...but why do we need that many?? I have wanted to simplify for years and this is the year I am downsizing big time...

Yesterday Kim went off to return some clothes she had bought...I also gave her my coupon for JcPenny that you spend $10 and get $10 off... FREE... I had used the ones I had and this one was for a few days only and I knew I wouldn't make it to JCPenny's...Well she went to start her car after coming out of JcPenny's and it wouldn't start...She has been having trouble lately and we know what the problem is and we were going to get it fixed over her winter break...well it is getting fixed tomorrow...as a mom I will not let it go on...It;s the cam shaft sensor...the part is $21 but the labor another thing...I was getting the jumper cables out and she called an said she got it started and was heading home... Phew no tow service needed...So tomorrow we are getting the car repair done so I don't have to worry about her while at college...The car always starts back up...it has everything to do with the sensor..Weather has a lot to do with it...I will be happy when it is fixed and I know Kim will be to...

Tuesday I start a new round of chemo and I am asking you to please pray I have the same results as the first set of chemo or even better results...Some people go through hell with Chemo...I am very blessed that I didn't have many problems...only a couple of days I was not up to par each chemo treatment and I know that is from all the prayers that went up..... I ranted about my hair falling out but that has been the bad part of chemo for me...but I am over it but I am however getting really really tired of wearing hats...I have been wearing my wig that I have but it itches...I even have the insert but it still feels weird and itchy so I go back to the hats.. When no one is home I take off the hat for a little while...but my head gets cold...Never realized how the hair on my head kept me warm...I don't know how bald men do it...Maybe that is why my hubby is so obsessed in wearing a hat in the cold... :) Could never understand that... Now I understand and won't give him a hard time anymore... Cancer has humbled me... It opened my eyes to alot of things that I never knew and one was being greedy for things that have no purpose in life anymore..Things that I felt I couldn't do without because I just had to have and it clutters my life and makes it more difficult in ways I thought would never happen...I am simplifying my life so I can enjoy my family...that is what cancer has taught me..the material things aren't worth it...the hugs and love as so worth it.. Spending time and savoring the moments with each kid is so important..instead of whining about things you enjoy the loving moments...

Christmas is so different this year and it will be best one without all the material stuff...homemade gifts, gifts with thought instead of just grabbing something off the shelf...Cancer has brought joy and love back into my life and who would have thought it would do that...I called it the monster at first...well the monster has opened my eyes. God has shown me through Cancer to love life and lean on Him...I would be crumbled up in a corner if I didn't have my Rock (the Lord) to lean on and to carry me through all this...

Have a great day....love family, love life....((HUGS))

Thank you...

2011-11-18T11:46:00.002-06:00

I just wanted to thank everyone who wrote a comment yesterday...it eased my mind alot and I am praying about..Your comments were precious to me..

My daughter is coming home this afternoon... I am so excited to see her...She came home a couple of weeks ago and it was for one day...just to short for this mom but so blessed at the same time...She will be home for 4 days this time and then has to work on Wednesday and then comes back home for Thanksgiving and then goes back Thanksgiving afternoon and works black Friday and Saturday...So I will be enjoying the time decorating our home with her and just enjoying time with her....I am so glad the weather is suppose to be good all next week and also her college is not that far away with all this traveling she is doing....

Molly ( my Angel cat) has done a turn around with her cancer...to me the tumors are shrinking.. She is spunky again..Wanting to be near me and being playful...So she is still with us..I really thought I was going to have to put her down a couple of weeks ago...I am praying that God keeps shrinking those tumors...

Yesterday afternoon I actually sat down and took some time to sew..I enjoyed myself...I know I need to finish one project at a time...I have several going at the same time and I was frustrated because it seems everything is started and nothing is finished.. So I will work on one thing and get it done....So I feel like I accomplished something...I know I will feel better if I get something done...

Today is windy and chilly... I like the wind at times....

This morning I planned out a menu since my daughter is home and also for Thanksgiving weekend...Even tho my daughter in law is having the Thanksgiving dinner at her home on the big day, I will be cooking a turkey on Friday....Since the kids aren't here anymore and they really don't like turkey, Russ and I will be having alot of different things for a few days...My son Dan will be here because he LOVES turkey....I love this time of year and since I am diabetic now I will be trying different recipes...

I hope you have a wonderful weekend...I know many will be decorating or shopping or what ever...enjoy your family and enjoy life....

Pondering....

2011-11-17T08:50:00.002-06:00

I hope everyone is having a great day...

My carpets are shampooed and look so nice right now..

The bone marrow shot I receive the day after chemo hits you 7 days after...Man oh man is my bones producing marrow right now..It's a good pain... I know what the pain is and I know my body is working so I am happy with that...So I am relaxing today...Letting my marrow produce...and I am catching up on blogs and will be reading later on...

Yesterday I received in the mail and I am pondering what to do...I have a hard time receiving gifts...I am a giver... I appreciate and have loved items I have received from wonderful people since I have been fighting cancer.. They are cherished...I still however have a hard time knowing those who don't know me send me things...Well yesterday I received a letter from my Hematology and oncology place I go to for chemo...In the letter is said this..

You have been selected as someone who we'd like to honor this year as part of Holiday Angel program. You are deserving of a special gift in recognition of your strength and courage and in hope and healing of peace...

Please let us know if there is something in particular that you or someone in your family wants or needs this holiday season....

They want me to list 5 different things...

I thought the Angel program of any sort is for people who are in need...I don't know what to do...I don't need anything...I have a husband who is working and we have insurance and they all know that...So I am wondering what the heck I should do...As I said I have a hard time receiving things...

I have in mind what I want to do and that is asking them what they were going to spend on me to be donated to our church for those in need or to my daughter to help pay for her next semester...I just don't if this is the right thing to do either...

Well that is it for today....just pondering what to do...

A gorgeous sunny day...

2011-11-16T12:25:00.002-06:00

The last two days I have been getting some things done.. Playing catch up from the week before..

1) I took all fall decos down and put them away...

2) Laundry....washed, dried and put away...( putting things away is a problem for me so I feel I did two things by following through.

3} Dusted and cleaned the living room...

4) Then after cleaning the living room I decided I would trim Remington's fur.. Ha..stupid stupid...Had to re-vacuum..Should have done the trimming before but I needed help catching him because he hates to be trimmed...You would think I was killing him..and when it is over he looks at you like oh that's it...He looks like he lost 5 pounds...

5) This morning I re-vacuumed again and then shampooed the living room carpet and the hall...looks so nice till one of the animals barf on it...always happens within 24 hours...

6)Cleaned the small front porch area...looked horrible...

This afternoon will be menu planning and budget planning....fun fun fun...

Hopefully I will be getting some time to sew when all is done...

Have a great day....

A nice Tuesday

2011-11-15T09:57:00.002-06:00

Good morning... I hope you had a wonderful weekend and a good start to the new week...

This past weekend was busy...It was Russ's birthday weekend...His birthday was yesterday and he had the day off from work...

Saturday Russ wasn't feeling well so we didn't do anything...
Sunday Tim and Jessie came over to be with Russ and do a few things...Russ wanted peg board for his tool room to hang his tools on so that was part of his birthday.. Tim went to Menard's with him and they got everything they needed and Tim helped his Father hang in in the tool room...It looks awesome in the tool room...Russ spent some time hanging things yesterday up on the peg board...

I fixed a Mexican fiesta for Sundays lunch for Russ and Tim and Jessie...It was great having them here... After lunch they continued on the tool room... After getting things done they worked on getting the snow blowers running...Tim knows about 2 cycle engines..so they are set for some snow blowing...

We decided not to hire a snow removal service...it's $40 each time and if we get a couple of storms a week we just can't afford it with paying medical co-pays and then paying for Kim's college tuition next semester...Kim graduates this December but she will be going for her CPA next semester...so we just have to snow shovel ourselves and talk to some neighborhood kids...We can hire them.. So the snow blowers are set which I am thrilled about...

When the guys were working Jessie and I watched Thanksgiving cooking shows...OH my gosh she is trying some of them and I want to try some...We are both excited.. I am not having Thanksgiving dinner here we are having it at Jessie and Tim's house...But I am still cooking a turkey...on Friday tho...While everyone is out getting there bargains...We aren't going on Black Friday... we are decorating..

Kim will be home for a few days and we will be putting up the big tree...And then I will have a few smaller ones around..I took all the fall decos down today...it is bare in the house...but I am spending today cleaning and taking down the fall decos... it will be set for this weekend for Christmas....Tomorrow I will be shampooing the carpets..I love a fresh clean house before decos go up...I am so excited with decorating...

Yesterday for Russ's birthday we went out to JcPenny's to get him some new clothes...It was nice to get out and see the stores decorated for Christmas and to just get out...While we were at the mall I went to the library..Our library is in the mall since the floods of 2008....I love it there.. I checked out 7 books...Some were cook books...Cook books are my down fall...Love them...Then I some books on sewing techniques..I want to enhance my sewing skills...My mother was a great seamstress...Would love to learn to sew like her... So that will be one of my goals during my next 12 weeks with this new chemo treatments I will be going through... This week I will go through on my down times the books I checked out...

I took a chance in going to the library but I have been dyeing to go....I love books..So I will be enjoying some down time with the books..

I need to cut open the big pumpkin we still have...we never carved it..so I want to get the seeds out...I love roasting my own...they are so healthy for you and I can have them...So that will be next on my agenda along with cleaning the house...

We went to Michael's yesterday just to look around...Yes I bought something...I bought some wood cut outs that were stars and moons...29 cents a piece...one of my little trees will have starts and moons on them...So I will need to paint them...

I have lots of things I want to make for the trees...

Well that is about it for right now....Hope your having a fantastic day...

Saturday...

2011-11-12T13:29:00.002-06:00

It's a nice saturday...Have the slider open to let some fresh air in.. Russ is watching a movie...the Hulk...Russ isn't feeling well today..I think he had one to many sweets at work..Monday is his birthday and they treated him with cookies and donuts and cake and since I don't have that stuff around he over indulged...He is feeling it big time today..

We haven't done much today...It is driving me batty...But will get over it..

Thursday and Friday I was a mess... I don't know if it was chemo or my blood sugar...My blood sugar was good according to the experts which are the doctors...I feel so much better when my blood glucose is in the 130's....It was 109 for 2 days and you would have thought you given me some sleeping pills...I am learning what my body needs..Today my blood sugar is 135 and I am raring to go and feel wonderful...Will be talking to the doctor about this...It has happened to many times where I feel so larthigic when it is at the good range...

Yesterday I couldn't get off the couch...And I had HGTV on and I was quite annoyed to say the least...I LOVE LOVE LOVE HGTV but not the afternoon showss that ran all afternoon..It was the same one but different places and it was about million dollar rooms!! NOT houses but million dollar rooms....A 5000 square foot master bedroom with a pool in it...I kepted thinking are they nuts!! Then I felt I was jealous...but it wasn't being jealous but it was the fact that why do you have to have a million dollar room.. Don't get me wrong because I do LOVE nice things...In our master bedroom I have things in it...I have dressers and night tables...There was NOTHING in this one bedroom...It had a bed and two night stands....I couldn't figure out why it cost a million dollars..Even the bedding was gross...I love pillows and quilts on my bed...I felt our bed was a million times better than the million dollar room...How things get twisted about things...The bathroom was all marble...I am not a marble person...I love terra cotta and natural looking stone so I thought the bathroom was horrible at 1000 square feet or more... Yup I just thought the shows were horrible....My favortie show is Property Brothers in showing how you can make a home look like a million dollars but not spend a million...I love those kinds of shows...

Okay I am off my temper tantrum...

Not much happening...I need to get my sewing out and enjoy it while the "Hulk" is on..Don't like movies that much...As I said it is my hubbies birthday weekend and he can do anything he wants...Well he can do anything he wants most weekends...but he sorta gets away with things on his special weekend...We have so many things to do...

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend...

snowy and rainy day and clear blue skies...

2011-11-09T18:27:00.002-06:00

This morning started off with rain and snow and sleet and then rain again and then clear blue skies.. The afternoon was beautiful...

Decided I have to move on finding a snow removal service.. But never got that done..

Today was a day I layed under a quilt...I had no energy today. I know it was from the chemo...My mind was rushing at 100 mph in wanting to get things done..But I decided not to fight it and just read and relax and comb through some blogs..I commented on some but just mainly read and enjoyed myself.. I loved watching the weather while reading the blogs and having my fake DVD fireplace on the TV screen..I love hearing the crackling fireplace.. I know my body needed the rest...

My dear sweet heart said no cooking and he brought in dinner...It was nice not to cook tonight..

It is suppose to be in the 20's tonight...I decided to try and keep the heat set at 69 or 70...I know alot of people keep it colder than that...But I won't.. I like to be warm and comfortable..We just keep more lights off and watch other things so we can be comfortable...Plus I am trying to finish crocheting a afghan.. When working on the afghans they keep you nice and toasty..

Well not much else happening...Hopefully tomorrow I will have more energy to get some crafts done...I have so many things lined up..

Have a wonderful evening...

Updates...

2011-11-08T13:23:00.003-06:00

Hello,

I thought I would sit down with a cup of coffee...I am learning to enjoy coffee...

I want to let you know about a new blogger..Janet is her name and she is a sweetie..Janet will be showing her crafts when she starts making them..Her blog is
www.throughthewoods2.blogspot.com Go see her blog and she is funny and sweet...I don't know why the www. isn't high lighted.. But please check out Janet's blog and welcome her to the blogging world..

Yesterday I went for the last of the set of 4 chemos...I saw my oncologist and I was NOT happy to say the least....Change of course...even tho it is a good course I was NOT Happy...I had it in my mind that I was going to get the IV pick out and have this nice long full shower that I could enjoy.. I can not get the IV pick wet and I had to wrap my arm and keep it dry.. Not an easy task...I was madder then a Chang high rooster...Thank goodness my daughter in law was there and calmed me down..The doctor felt so bad...And kepted explaining over to me why she is changing things up..I kepted telling her I was okay about it but that I wanted a full shower....

Okay the reason why the changes...In two weeks I start the series of 12 that I go once a week.. Because of the diabetes and a higher risk of infection after surgeries and I already proved the whole infection thing.. And I am a month behind in chemo treatments because of the hospital stay...She doesn't want to mess with having the risk of a infection and getting me further behind...So no surgery until after all chemo is done...OH and the good news....She can not feel any evidence of tumor...Nor any evidence of enlarged nodes under arm..Sweet....So I am listening to her about the whole course...She told me after chemo I will have the mastectomy and if there is no evidence of cancer spread to the nodes I am done with chemo...

I wasn't happy about the IV pick staying in...But If that is all I have to deal with then it will be a piece of cake...I just wanted the full shower....I am over it I think... :)

The good part is my daughter will be graduating in December from college and I won't be in pain from the surgery and I can enjoy my daughters graduation..I am so happy about that..What a joy that will be...

I had chemo yesterday and then this morning I had the bone marrow shot and then I saw my primary about the diabetes and I am coming along... Now I don't have to see another doctor for the next 12 days and I start the series of 12 chemos that is different from the first set...that will be 2 days before thanksgiving. It will be a whole set of different reactions and well see..

Okay I really thought Thanksgiving was further away...Where is the time going...Geesh...Can't wait to get my Christmas stuff up...I'm itchy to do it now...
but will do it when my daughter comes home for Thanksgiving break...

Have a great week ahead...

A beautiful crisp day...

2011-11-03T16:57:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day...

Today I am very thankful for the church that I go to when I can right now...I am thankful for the wonderful church family that cares so deeply for everyone..Love you to the ones that read my blog...and I do love the ones who don't..It's a wonderful church who love so much..(((HUGS))))

Today I tackled the sewing room.. I dusted and vacuumed and I am afraid I am a hoarder of sewing fabric and sewing notions.. My main objective was to get rid of things...Go through stuff I haven't touched probably won't touch in a zillion years and I could not throw anything out because "I might need it someday" Oh well at least everything is cleaned...I have 4 work stations in a 10x10 room...1) is my computer desk that was filled with papers and mail...it is all cleaned and papers put away...YEAH!!! 2) is my bead making area...I have a lot of beads because last Christmas I decided I was going get into bead making.. That lasted 3 weeks..not patient enough...but my daughter will be getting everything because she is starting the hobby up..so the work station will stay..3) is my painting area for wood working projects.. 4) is the long wall area and there is a 8 foot table with my sewing machine and shelves up on the table...I have a nice work area...

I am happy in how everything turned out...Now to keep things orderly so I don't have to keep redoing everything..I am very bad at not putting things away because of being pulled away from the room...I must put everything up...

I painted this afternoon some wooden Christmas ornaments and it felt good to paint...Russ needs to teach me how to work the scroll saw tonight so I can cut out some ornaments he had traced on some wood...Standing for long periods of time his back starts hurting...So I will have him teach me and I will cut them out for him to paint...There are no good TV shows right now and we get so bored in the evening...we want to keep busy...

Today was a good day...The past week I have felt so good like I did before I knew I had cancer...Actually this week I have told myself that I can't feel the tumor anymore...The doctors can't find it either..Why am I going through more chemo...it doesn't make since right now to me in how good I feel...But I know it means it is working so I must forge ahead...Monday is round 4 of chemo..So I am going to enjoy the next few days..Kimberly comes home on Sunday and I can't wait to see her...

I do need to get dinner started...I want to make homemade Au gratin cheesy potatoes...and we will have acorn squash and smoked ham...

Have a wonderful evening..

wednesday...

2011-11-02T14:23:00.002-05:00

Didn't realize how busy I am today... Still have a lot to do...

I am thankful today for the rain...I love rain.. And it was thundering to early this morning.. Just a nice day..

Mail bills today, took Dan so he could go grocery shopping..I sat in the truck and read Country Sampler...Love that mag...I love peace and quiet like that...

Went to the post office to mail the bills and then I went to the Dollar tree... I get my dishwasher detergent and napkins there..The detergent does a good job and you can't go wrong with a napkin... $2 I spent. I am trying to find ways I can cut a dollar here and there. But I won't compromise anymore if it doesn't work I will go back with my other stuff..Right now we are going with what works at the cheapest.

I am debating to go on another errand.. I didn't mind going out by myself..I usually have my sidekick with me which is my hubby...

My next thing I would love to do is visit the library... I LOVE LOVE books...Want to get books on crafting, cooking and Christmas...Will see..

I do need to start the stew for tonight...The rolls are rising right now...

Have a wonderful day and may it be filled with many blessings...

I love the month of November....

2011-11-01T10:09:00.002-05:00

November is my favorite time of the year...Winter is trying to set in.. It is beautiful outside, the air is crisp...

It's also a month to think about all the things you are thankful for...even when things are not going your way.. This month I am going to give thanks for something each day...

The picture above is my life right now..I don't know what is around the bend.. What is coming up next.. With health or Russ's job..Didn't like reading the article in today's newspaper...Won't go into it.. But we have to really save our money for rainy days and I am so thankful that the cancer is right now and not down the road... We have insurance now... But I am going to embrace going around the bend of the road to what is going to come up next...We don't know but I know I have God and my husband right there with me... So I love this picture...

Today I am very thankful that I have medical insurance.. I found out the weeks stay in the hospital is costing over $38,000 that is not including all the doctors and other things... My deductible is $3500...yes $3500 is hard but I called the hospital to set up a payment plan..They were very nice.. So I am very thankful for that..

I am also very thanful for a wonderful husband and family...

Last night was fun watching the trick or treators... Talk about a small world..A neighbor asked Russ how I was and I came out...She had heard I had cancer from a friend who goes to my church who walked with her in the cancer walk..Talk about such a wonderful blessing that was.. Both of these gals are sweet hearts.. I so appreciate these ladies...

Tim and Jessie were over last night..We grilled burgers and had tator tots... we ate before the trick or treators came...The best costume was a rocket man...It was all Tim when he was little..Tim was giving out candy and would say this one and that one was cool... We watched through the window...The rocket man's costumer lit up and everything..Very cool...And it was made out of card board and computer paper and then accessories and of course the father had to be an engineer with LED lights and stuff...Tim was giving out 2 pieces of candy each and one kid goes only 2 and Tim said then give it back!!! The kid didn't know what to do..We didn't have cheap candy..We love giving out chocolate and in this neighborhood we get well over 100 kids...The kid was shocked that Tim said give them back..The kid goes really and Tim said no but he was rude for only saying 2....It was probably one of the people who drive from one neighborhood to another to get as much as you can.. But I think the kid learned a lesson..Tim doesn't take that kind of rudeness...All other kids were saying Happy Halloween and thank you... So he gave 3 each.....

We did enjoy last night...

Today is a lazy day...Change my blog theme and then will work on some organzing today.. Going thing the medical bills matching with the insurance papers...Goodness so many papers but I want to keep up with it, so it doesn't get out of hand...

Have a wonderful day...

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T06:54:00.002-05:00

Happy Halloween....I hope it is a safe one...

I hope everyone on the NorthEast Coast are faring well..Praying that you get the electric back..

One of the things that I have learned is being prepared... Having at least a weeks worth of food in the cupboards and having the gas grill ready for cooking..We also have a fire pit that we are storing some wood in the shed so we can cook with that..Simple things that you can do...We have batteries now from our short power outage the other night..We realized we were short of batteries.. We have a kerosene heater from 2000 for when the world was going to stop...We have used it a few times and each winter we make sure it is ready just in case.. It gives us comfort to know we are ready for a short time or a longer period of time.. I know alot of people think people are nuts who prepare...God tells us to prepare to..I am not a hoarder of things.. Just enough for a week or two...don't have the room for longer periods of time..

I am also preparing for when I have surgery...Preparing takes alot of stress out of your life..I am glad we are fortunate enough to prepare for things that are coming up..

As for today my Son and his wife are coming over and we will give out candy and have burgers for dinner...

Yesterday I enjoyed, we relaxed and then I decided to paint some fencing...not outside...My son gave me 3 pieces of wood...They are brand new from a cedar fencing...they are 6 feet long... I am making signs with them.. One will go over the sliding glass doors....Have to figure out what saying to put.."welcome to our home" or "Our Barn - Our rules" and then I am going to cut the one in pieces with just one word on them..."Believe" "Eggs" "Herbs" and ect...Then the third one I need to get figure out the what to say...I will be looking in magazines that have signs in them and see what sayings I like...I also made some salt dough ornaments yesterday and had fun with that...today I will paint them...

This morning I will be making banana bread from some older bananas...

I feel like I am getting back to normal...of course next monday I start all over with the chemo but I am going to enjoy the week ahead with puttering around and having some much down time and craft time...It has been pure bliss the last few days...

Have a wonderful Halloween and all of you in the NorthEast and I am praying for you....

Sunday Morning...

2011-10-30T07:12:00.002-05:00

Good Morning, I just wanted to let everyone know I am doing great right now..I haven't been posting lately or reading blogs...Next week I will catch up..I know alot of people are still praying.. I feel it..

I have enjoyed not going to the dcotors... I feel like a normal person right now.. I really needed the break from the doctors...I needed to feel like a normal person..

I put all the medical stuff in the main bathroom...Our cabinet has 4 drawers and I cleaned them out and wiped them down with disinfectent and I store all my diabtetes stuff out of sight and all the other things out of sight such as bandages for my IV pic that still is in my arm and will be taken out after my next chemo... Not having all that stuff in sight is so nice...it was all over...some on the dining room table some in the kitchen and then on the counter of the bathroom...It was bugging me.. I don;t want to be reminded everywhere I go in the house that I am fighting cancer...So it has been so nice the past 5 days with staying at home and not having appointments...

I have been sewing, crocheting, watching HGTV and getting motivated with ideas...I have been sorting through things that don't matter to me anymore... I have been menu planning for us...I found we were going out to fast food to many times the last few weeks..

Russ went grocery shoppping yesterday for me...It was a light food shop day because the week before we did a big one...Next weekend we will be stocking up on some meat and other things for the winter...Since I will be having surgery soon I am going to make some casseroles and freeze them for Russ and I to have...I know I have a wonderful family that will help out...I will be making a big batch of stew for us and will freeze it...Good healthy soups so all we have to do is heat and serve...Alot of protein dinners that will help heal after surgery...

Yesterday my son Tim and his wife Jessie came over and made lunch for us...Tim grilled some nice steaks wrapped in bacon...so good... They are such good kids trying to take care of us..We sat and talked all afternoon...It was so nice..They are coming over on Halloween because they don't have many kids in the neighborhood and they want to hand out candy... So I will make dinner and we will have fun handing out candy...they won't let me hand it out or get near kids...They said I can watch from behind them so I don't get any germs on me...So protective...Love them...I will enjoy being with them...Of course the whole time they were pigging out on our candy...

Talking about candy it was hard to stay away from it...I allowed my self two butter fingers and they were bite size..They were out of this world...I have to admit I enjoy things more then ever when I have to be careful with things...It taste so much better..

Today is rainy and chilly so we are staying home and relaxing...Russ needs to relax because he has been in pain with his back...I cleaned the exercise room so we can start some exercise slowly because they had told him exercise is important.. So it is all ready to ride the bike and walk on the treadmill...I need to start to because exercise is important to for a diabetic...Now all we have to do is get in there and start walking and biking..

Well I hear Russ up and want to start some breakfast...cooking has been my passion lately... Sent my daughter a goodie package filled with candy and some brownies I made her for halloween...She will be excited...

Hope everyone is having a great weekend..

For the next 9 days.....

2011-10-26T21:00:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone is having a nice week...

Today was rough for me...usually the 4th or 5th day is not the best after chemo...I ad diabetes education today and it was okay but the nutritionist wasn't there and that is the most important but the nurse was a great help and we realized I knew everything I needed to know so I won't be going back unless I have problems... So I was happy about that...

Russ took tuesday morning off because we saw the plastic surgeon... I like him very much and I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to have the reconstructive surgery...But after talking with him and he watching after me I will go through it but not till later next year...He feels I need to get tackle the cancer and heal completely from the mastectomy and then go for the reconstructive.. He explained to me that with diabetes and the whole heart condition and the cancer that he wanted me completely healed...So I was really happy with what he said...He was super nice and listened to Russ and I.. I talked to the doctor in how I wasn't going to go through the constructive because I want to heal and then garden in the spring...He told me to garden or do what ever I want and then have the reconstructive surgery after that..He said it is the law that when you have the mastectomy you have the right to whenever to have the reconstructive surgery...so the insurance company will pay for it...they can not deny you that...So I felt so much better...So I am going to have my good boob lifted and perked up and match the new one...soooooooo that is the plan as of right now...

I also had to have my port wound checked out and according to the wound clinic I am completely healed and didn't think I should have had the appointment... So they didn't charge me at all for anything..I was totally shocked... But was thrilled...

This evening I realized that for the next 9 days I do not have any appointments.. 9 days of pure bliss of no co-pays or doctors to see...I can not tell you how I am going to enjoy this...I have plans for crafts and just healing and relaxing..After today with feeling pretty wiped out I can not wait to move forward and have some fun in the next 9 days...

Not much else happening...will be taking pictures of the things I do....I have been pictureless lately...Want to get back into posting pictures...

Have a great night......

My Plans for winter...

2011-10-23T18:19:00.003-05:00

Sunday evening....

This has been a great weekend even tho I had chemo....Feeling pretty good..

Last night we went to church, they had a special worship of singing and prayer at the end...Our worship team did a great job and I felt peace within...It was great..

I was going to try and go to church this morning but I knew it was going to be to much.. so I rested all morning long. .Russ and I woke and read the newspaper and went through the Sunday adds..I fixed sausage egg cheese omelets and we had left over blueberry muffins to go with it..They are small muffins and I only had one... As we were reading the newspaper and looking through the ads for the things we were planning for Christmas.. Then looked at the ads for things we needed especially batteries as we lost power the other night...We quickly learned we need batteries...Menards is having a good sale...

We didn't go out and get those things...we are making a list... HyVee Drug has tomato sauce on sale for 38 cents a can as well as chili beans for 38 cents a can.. So we will get them this week.. Some need the coupon from the ad...

We decided to go to Targets for groceries after the late brunch...I had a huge list that I needed to get..With Russ going I don't like overwhelming him with all the food shopping..He has a bad back and so we helped each other...We cleaned the basket before I was allowed to touch it and he put everything in the basket...I pointed and he put it in the basket..He takes good care of me.. Came home and put everything up..yeah I touched it all after getting home.. I just smiled because I ended up touching everything after he wouldn't let me put in the basket...I chuckled at that...I love him so...

After resting from putting the groceries up..I have to rest in between things..it helps from me getting wiped out... Russ wanted to tackle somethings in the yard...I helped with the deck...It was a mess....we recycled things that needed to go and then we placed the table and chairs nice and neat and put the barbecue next to the house..The whole area is ready for winter... Then Russ went and worked on the porch under the deck...All the cushions for the swing and chairs are up for the winter..First he took everything out of the shed and straightened it all up...While cleaning it out he stepped through the floor...So next spring it will have to be replaced..

Now onto my plans for the winter...I don't want the seasonal blues...

The first thing is I am thankful that I will be going through the winter healing and doing the second set of chemo.. I can concentrate of resting and healing and then have fun this spring.. If I had to go through spring with chemo I know it would get to me to enjoying the sun and planting...

Russ and I talked about our garden next year..It will be downsized alot because I know I will be getting my strenght back...But we wanted to plant blueberry bushes down the fence line..and we also want raspberry plants to. Russ wants a couple more fruit trees....so we are going to start putting away $5 here and there for those bushes and fruit trees...Hopefully by spring we can get what we want...

I am going to be finishing my moms quilt...I stopped working on it...but will go forth with it and finish it and curl up in it to heal this winter...

I am going to sewing different projects all winter long...

I am going to finish all my undone projects one by one.I have one Afghan that I am crocheting that I want to finish...It is a natural tweed yarn...so pretty...

I want to try different diabetic recipes...I really don't want to call them diabetic because I am finding out if you eat healthy you cut all the carbs out anyways...the bad carbs that is...So I am embracing a new way of life with eating...

Another thing is loving my family this winter....

I am excited to embrace everything..it doesn't mean I am going to escape the winter blues but I can try...

Have a wonderful week ahead...Again my days are filled with appointments again.. at least it gets me out of the house...

Saturday....

2011-10-22T10:29:00.002-05:00

What a beautiful fall morning...

Finally have the TV hooked up in the sewing room...I am so happy about that...

Last night we lost power for about an hour and a half...It is so nice to have battery powered candles..I love those things...I don't have them on that much but when they are on they are so pretty..I have about 10 of them...they are the pillar ones.. We had them all lite and it was nice sitting by candle light.. Have no idea why there was no power.. It was never on the news...

While sitting in the dark I started thinking about this winter...Pretty soon we are going to be closed in for the winter...blinds and curtains closed up..They are predicting a snowy winter...I need to call people to snow plow our driveway.. I won't be able to do it this winter...I don't mind doing it and will miss the exercise..But with the mastectomy there is no way I can do it..We don't have our boys to do it..Once thing I miss about having no kids here.. Oh well I got off track...

My question to you today is what are you going to do this winter from getting the winter blues that hit us after the holidays...I would love to know you ideas...

I had another chemo treatment yesterday afternoon, boy oh boy I was getting hit with hot flashes....I totally forgot about them.. Then realized I was dressed pretty warm and the afternoon was warmer then it has been....I changed into shorts and a short sleeve shirt and the hot flashes lesson but was still getting them...I then thought if this is all that will happen this time with chemo I am okay and will deal with it.. I was thankful I had left over chicken from the roasted chicken from the night before...no cooking.. I needed that...

This morning I went in and got my bone marrow shot to help rebuild my bone marrow...that will start to hit me in 6 days...My bones ache but that is a good sign that my bone marrow is rebuilding so I embrace that pain..

I am going to work on some areas of my home...it's not alot of work...it is easy work...It's called clutter and getting rid of clutter... newspapers, mail and finally found a basket for my hats...they were spread all over the place...I have been going through magazines because I had an over abundance of them.. Finding recipes and I am finding more and more recipes that done have the carbs and fats at the end of the recipe which means they are full of fat and carbs...so I don't even cut them out...

I want to straighten out the deck.. I have ignored it for a few minutes...UGH.. So I will get rid of things..put things away for the winter...Russ is helping..

Tonight we are going to our church for a worship night of singing...I am excited to go...will sit in the back but I want so bad to go...

I hope you have a wonderful weekend...

Free!!!

2011-10-20T09:03:00.002-05:00

Good morning...I'm free from IV antibiotics.... No more. I am so happy not being tied to the clock and to the IV...I only have to flush the IV lines once per day till the IV pic comes out...

My Infectious disease doctor wants the IV pic out...If I weren't having chemo tomorrow he would have taken it out..He doesn't like them because they cause more infections than the Port...He wants me to have another port put in.. Not sure of that right now.. If I do get another port it would be put in at the same time as the mastectomy...

Yesterday after coming home from the doctors I walked into my sewing room...In the past few weeks I have wanted to go in...but the lack of motivation and the pity party I was pulling I never got in there..I hadn't even used the computer in there..I have been using the lap top thus no pictures on my post.. Yesterday I had the will to go into my sewing room and I sat down and started a jean quilt.. I enjoyed sewing for a while...it felt great..now I have to get a TV in there so I can watch HGTV while doing some projects...it felt great sewing..I enjoyed every moment of it..I felt like I had life to look forward to in the future... I had not realized how I wasn't looking forward to the future..I was trying to get through each day. So my outlook on life has changed thus far an I am looking forward to the future...

I never realized how cancer can affect you with your body, mind and spirit....Especially when you have a set back.. Now I feel I can move on with my life.

Russ and I are making plans for next spring..I love the fact we are planning our future...we use to do that all the time.. We decided to do all the thing we had planned to do but never did it. Life is to short to say we can't do this or that because we don't have time or money or whatever excuse I had...Ha...then your hit with cancer.. cancer puts alot of things perceptive.. My faith is number one and I want so bad to serve in the church and when I was healthy all I did was grip and complain about everything...Then when cancer hit me and I see how much I love the church and how much I want to go and serve.. So God is working on my heart about alot of things....I see I have a great future to love my husband and family with God first... How cancer made me realize that Russ is my rock and I never saw that before... how my eyes have been opened to so many things...

So love your family, hubby and kids....neighbors and remember life is to short to hold onto the negative...enjoy life, embrace the things that come your way...

Off to enjoy my time to sew...

Wasn't expecting to hear what I heard today...

2011-10-18T16:34:00.002-05:00

Today I went to see my new General surgeon....Russ couldn't take off so my friend Penny came with me...She asked questions for me to...I am so glad she went...

Last Friday I talked with the oncologist and Russ and I asked her about having the mastectomy between the two different chemos... She said no... Well today I saw the new General Surgeon and he called the oncologist and she said I would be having my surgery in 4 to 6 weeks...WHAT??? I wasn't expecting to hear that..Geeessh...

They are talking about the week of Thanksgiving or the week after..I prefer the week after Thanksgiving...So now the heat has been turned on me with getting Christmas done early...I am excited to have a time line..I want everything done before surgery...

Of course I have Russ's birthday and Tim's birthday in November and Dave's the first week of December... Goodness things are coming up fast and I am excited for the challenge of it all...I won't have time for a pity party like I have had since yesterday afternoon...Now there is time lines...just what I live on...

Tomorrow is the infectious disease doctor and I pray that I can get off these antibiotic's... the I will be free with my life in that area...

Now I need to go and start a list for Christmas....

Have a happy day...

A busy week ahead...

2011-10-17T09:21:00.002-05:00

My Blood sugar is leveling off to normal and I find I have more energy...

This week is full of appointments..

Monday- the CarePro nurse is coming for vitals and change my IV Pic bandage...

Tuesday- Seeing my new General surgeon... A friend is coming with me because I am a chicken if I see my other one I got rid of.....these surgeons are in the same office...I need support if I am confronted by him..which I don't think will happen but just incase...

Wednesday- I see the infectious disease doctor and he is the only one that can stop the antibiotics...Hopefully I can get off these meds...they cause a lot of nausea..

Thursday- nothing is happening except I want to go food shopping and get everything I need for the following week...

Friday- I start Chemo...yippy!! not really but want to get back on track so I can get on with my life...

I have things I need to do this week...I need to bring in my lemon tree and my orange tree....Hopefully I can keep up with them through out the winter months...I would also like to grow some salad greens inside during the winter months...

I want to start some christmas gifts I can make while at chemo...So I need to organize that...so it's already in my bag when friday comes...

And I need to keep up with the house....My dear sweet husband has been doing laundry for me and helps where he can..He is tired and I am trying to do more and more and we also decided if it doesn't get done it just doesn't get done...How we have changed in that area of our lives...it's only temporary...

I am also thinking more and more about the future...When I was in the hospital I had no desire to think about the future...Everything seemed blah...As I am getting better and better I am cutting ideas and recipes out of magazines...I see the future at the end....

Have a great day...

I don't want this weekend to end...

2011-10-16T15:51:00.002-05:00

It is a gorgeous day in Iowa...A bit windy...but beautiful...and it is nippy outside...

Stew with red wine is simmering on the stove..Smells wonderful... Russ is cleaning his 55 gallon fish tank...But it is going to look so pretty...

This morning we went to church..And I have so missed it.. I loved every moment and will savor every moment of it...I got so many hugs from so many wonderful people.. I am so in awe of God today..For some reason I feel healed..

Yesterday I had fun.. Russ and I went to the farm and tractor store and got some bird seed... I love feeding the birds and I am thrilled I can watch them again...Then we went to the pet store and got some new dog food for the dogs...we are mixing the old with the new right now and will go over to the new... It was nice looking around for awhile..Saw some kittens they were adopting out...The only thing that stops me is kittens scratch and I don't need any cuts...and we just don't need another animal...

We went to my son Tim's house and saw there new furniture..I am thrilled for them...They have been in there house for a year now and they have it looking so nice...It was nice seeing him...

On the way home we went to the pumpkin patch to get a pumpkin....I have alot of fake ones and wanted a real one...So Russ picked a huge one..$11 for it... I told him to put it back but he wouldn't..He said he liked it...Then I bought some acorn and butternut squashes...So we are set with them for a couple of weeks...Russ bought a butternut squash last weekend at Walmarts and it is rotten....So how long it has traveled or sat around I have no idea because they are suppose to last a long time...We will be getting our fill of winter squashes...so good for you...

I don't want the weekend to end because this week has so many appointments and I have chemo on Friday and it will be along time till I feel like this again..I can only look forward to the end of it all..

Now is the time to cut up some carrots and potatoes to put in the stew....

May you week ahead be filled with many blessings...

What a beautiful morning....

2011-10-15T08:49:00.002-05:00

This weekend is going to be a busy weekend...Friday was busy...Russ took the day off to go to the diabetic education class..We are a united couple and he wants to learn as much as he can to..We leaned alot and was very thankful to get the knowledge I needed...I have learned I can eat anything I want but in portion sizes and also counting the carbs..I also found out I am a protein eater...I love protein0 (meat and eggs )..Now I have to switch to more leaner meats..But it was exciting to learn I can be normal and eat.. I was literally starving my cells because I was cutting so many carbs out of my diet...So in a couple of weeks I meet with the dietitian.. That will be exciting to.....

With cutting my portion sizes I am losing weight and feel so much better..I am at my lowest I have been in 23 years...Loving it...my clothes are hanging on me and I am going to learn on my old clothes to alter them for right now and then when I am at my goal I can start looking at new clothes..

Last night Russ and I treated ourselves to frosties...I did get a small one because they hold alot of sugar...I got the carb book that tells you all fast food restaurants and how many calories and carbs foods are...Boy oh boy has it shocked me...no wonder America is full of diabetics...geesh...It tasted good but won't have another one for a while..

This morning Russ and I are going out and having some much needed fun. We woke in each others arms...It has been a long and frustrating time from the hospital stay to Russ getting sick with a cold...It was so nice to hold each other.... So today we are going to a farm and tractor place to get bird food...I love feeding the birds...Then we are going to Pet Smart and get some dog food that the dogs need for weight loss...We will look at the farm and tractor store to for their prices on dog food...

We are going to visit my Son and his wife's house...they got new furniture and they want to show us..It will be nice to see them..

On the way back we will stop at a local pumpkin farm and get a pumpkin,,,I have so many fake ones and I always buy a real one...Usually I buy a few fake ones but with bills coming I will only buy one real one and buy some edible squashes that I can bake and freeze for winter cooking...We love butternut squash and will get a few of them and cook and enjoy during cold days...I love having mashed butternut squash with butter pecans in it...soooo good...use to put brown sugar...

I am finding out with using alot less salt on my foods that I taste the foods differently and they taste so much better..Same with adding sugar to squashes...I don't do that anymore and I really taste the squash...I am finding out the true taste of foods now...

Yesterday I saw my oncologist...She really wanted me to start chemo yesterday..But I told her no...I am taking charge..When they put the port in I wanted it to heal first...they didn't listen to me....Where the port is now with my primary putting me on another antibiotic it is healing really well...She wasn't happy either with me changing general surgeons...Oh well...Again I am taking charge...I will see the new general surgeon on Tuesday...then proceed seeing a plastic surgeon for a reconstructive surgery... So my next chemo is next Friday...then I have one more chemo in two weeks after Friday one and then I have the series of 12 of them each week...Hopefully no set backs...
..
So I am taking this weekend to have some fun before the serious stuff begins again...I want to see all my friends at VVBC so I will be going to church..Today we will be running some errands and having some fun...

I will watch what I am doing and taking my hand sanitizer...I am excited to get out...

I am going to say something if and when you make a comment could you please leave a name...I had someone who wrote an anomoyous comment and didn't leave a name and she had some things to say about my hair loss..I understood what she was saying..I don't know if she ever lost her hair or not from cancer or not...but it isn't fun..Yes she was right that I have to get on with my life...but everyone is different...I never knew that my head full of hair was so important to me...I was scared in what my hubby was going to think of me...alot goes through your mind and I am not the only one who goes through this.....My hubby loves the whole me and he has shown me and he has been such a rock to me...I use to be the strong domineering one in my family...the losing hair brought me to my knees to tell you the truth...I am finally accepting the hair loss and I finally have the courage to go out...Everyone goes through things differently...

Now I am going to go out and enjoy the day...no house cleaning just fun this weekend because next week is full of doctor appointments....

Have a great weekend and may it be filled with many blessings...

A sigh of relief....

2011-10-13T12:52:00.002-05:00

This morning was not good for me.. I woke feeling like I was sliding back to when I went into the hospital with infection.. But the port is gone...I have done everything right...My diabetic meter is not working properly... I am having yeast infections on my skin from the antibiotics...I couldn't stop crying that I was going backwards...The port area is the one of concern for me...When I changed the gauze it was yellow green...Not good...Russ was a sweetie holding me and I knew I had to get my act together.. So he would not worry...Poor guy..

So at 8 am I called my primary doctor to see him because I am in between my general surgeons..So they let me come in at 11:30...He took a look at the open wound where the port was and he said it looks really good and said yes it looks like something is starting to brew...but that I caught it early but he said as long as it is yellow what it is doing is getting debris out of the wound...Never heard that before but of course I never had an open wound either...He wants me on antibiotics since it is starting to brew... Then he prescribed some lotion for the yeast stuff on my skin...Then we talked about the meter for diabetes and I told him what it was doing...He gave me a prescription for a new meter and strips and needles.. If I give our pharmacy a prescription our insurance covers part of it, so it is cheaper....

I felt my down mood lift walking out of the doctors office...For years I wouldn't go to the doctor....Now I feel comfortable in going and talking with him...As Russ said I need to call when I don't feel right for now on...I know Russ is right...

I conquered a hurdle today... I went to the doctors myself...I haven't been out alone since I lost my hair.. The whole hair thing is a big thing for me... It felt good going out all alone even tho it was at the doctors... It is my first step...And there will be others...Next week I will be going alone to some doctor appointments to..Russ can not get off of work because he has a important client coming...He can't take time off...I am glad because I am getting my confidence up to go out alone...I think I may go with Russ food shopping this weekend...

The 4 walls are closing in on me... I know next week my week is filled with appointments from when I was in the hospital... After next week I am going to go out and go to fabric stores...I want to take one baby step at a time...I must not let having no hair get to me and bring me down...I must forge ahead.. get over my fears...

I guess the good thing about everything is I have lost 15 pounds....At least I am getting something good out of all this... it feels good..getting rid of crappy foods does make a difference in weight loss...I have eliminated all white stuff in my life...Last night we had wheat spiral pasta with spaghetti sauce...added meat balls in the sauce..The only thing is pasta is filled with carbs...2 ounces has 41 grams of carbs... 2 ounces is nothing...Then I started thinking do you measure before cooking or after...I still don't know...anyways I had 4 ounces of pasta...it filled me and wheat wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be...Russ said the wheat pasta is not to bad...We won't have it like we use to but it was nice to have some pasta...it has been weeks since I had any pasta..

The weather today is nice and cool...A nice wind is blowing and the breeze coming through the house is so nice...getting the stale air out and bringing in the fresh air...Loving it..

Well it is time to stop sitting and need to get a few things done..I am past the down mood and want to do somethings...

Have a wonderful day and may it be filled with many blessings....

God is so in control....

2011-10-12T11:43:00.003-05:00

Good morning to you...

Yesterday was an awesome day...I got a package in the mail from Jessica from Country Whispers...she does beautiful work..I will be taking a picture and posting it tomorrow..I thank you Jessica for you kindness...

Then Elizabeth sent me a book on healing prayers.. Her blog is Feathering My Nest..It is on my side bar...That book is such a comfort...Thank you Elizabeth..

When I first was told I had cancer I was shocked and scared...I also said that if this cancer were to bring back my kids to be closer to the Lord it will be so worth it...Well yesterday I had an awesome visit from one of my sons... He told me the Lord has been weighing on his heart about alot of things..He said he wanted to get his life straightened out and go to a christian college....I asked him what does he want to do and he said he has no idea...I said keep praying and if he got plugged into a church and he may find out what he wants to do.. I know when he was in the Youth Group at VVBC he loved missions..My son has a heart of gold and I know he would be great in helping others...not necessarily going out of the country but to help here in the U.S. I was thrilled to hear this....God is in control and I know that my son has alot of things to work out...But I feel God is weighing on his heart about alot of things...So I am praying each day for him..I know alot of people from VVBC will be thrilled to hear this... I was thrilled to see him and how he is listening to the Lord...

I have been very tired since Monday...I am trying to get my strength up...again like a friend said to me that God wants me to rest...So I am listening to my body...

It is a rainy day and it has been beautiful to listen to the rain and thunder...It has been a while since it has rained or thundered...

Again thank you Jessica and Elizabeth for your kindness...I also want to thank everyone that is praying for our family..I do feel the prayers...(((HUGS))) to you all....

all out of whack....

2011-10-11T08:53:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was so busy... I loved being busy but I am not use to it anymore...

My morning was busy, Kim got up to get ready to head back to college..Her car was givig her problems on the way home from college.. She needs a new sensor and I told her next time we will get it fixed when she is home longer...She made it back to college with no problems...I miss her...I know this trip was hard because she knows she may not see Molly again.. That's if Molly goes down hill. So it is hard on her...

After Kim left I went and picked up Dan to help me with the dogs to go to the vets..After picking up Dan I came home and vacuumed the living room and straightened up for the nurse to come at 12:30... We had to leave for the vets at 1:15....I thought it was going to be a quick visit with the nurse and she ended up leaving at 1:15....Never had time for lunch or a change of clothes... Not good not to eat being a diabetic...I knew I could stop if I had to...

Dan and I put the dogs in the car...Well it wasn't a problem because they LOVE car rides....Jessie met us at the vets to help handle the dogs...We thought we would have problems with Holly my german shep/huskie mix dog... But she was so good and such a sweetie...we did muzzle her and it was her first time.. In all the years I have had dogs and the vet I use to go to never was as thorough as this vet was......I loved them...Of course Remmy whizzed all over the floor because he is the one who got the most work up...Remmy weighs 131 pound....very very over weight...My old vet always said he had thyroid issues... the old vet pushed thyroid pills with almost any animal we have had... Well I asked the new vet for the test to be taken for his thyroids...He does not have a thyroid problems...His problem is call table food... bad mom here...The doctor is pretty sure Remmy has allergies. I thought Remmy's ears were a mess and they said they have seen worse...but he is on antibiotics...They feel the food I am feeding him is causing all the problems...no they did not say to buy there food...They want me to feed these dogs with vension and rabbit.. Look at the ingredients and the less ingredients the better...so we will be buying better food and start off slowly for their digestive system...They want Remmy to lose in 10 pounds goals..he is boder line diabetice and has high cholestrol!!! No table food at all...He can have carrots and celery and apples for dog treats... He loves them all...Holly on the other hand will not touch that stuff...Holly is 10 pounds over weight and she has liver issues.. I started to cry when he mentioned she may have a tumor on the liver with such high numbers.. He felt bad...He realized I had cancer and then he rememberedd Molly and now Holly...In a few weeks we are going to have her blood tested for the liver...she needs to be fasting in order to have this test done..He thought she was in great shape for a big dog and said usually dogs this size are feeble at this age and he sees none of that...She is not to have table food either...it will be so hard not to give them our left overs... But we will do what we have to do to keep these dogs healthy...Remmy is the one who needs to lose 50 pounds..poor fellow but he will feel so much better....

I didn't have time to do my second set of antibiotics....First time I skipped... But I got my blood work up from when the nurse was here to take the blood...The blood counts were fanastic...My iron is up.. My Blood glucose was 128...the lowest it has been,, I think there is something wrong with my meter....I told the girl 30 minutes before she came I checked it and it was 185... I said it has been this range most of the time...I told her I am eating correctly...So I may get a new meter when I go to the diabetic eduacation this friday...

My oncologist office called and wants me to start chemo this friday after I see her...Well I am not going to...I want my port healed..chemo does a number on your body...I know all my numbers are good...But I want it healed...you heal slower with chemo..I want to start chemo as soon as I can but after my port area is healed...

Dan had a interview with Carlos O Kellys at 4:30 yesterday..it is right around the corner from us... They hired him on the spot... So he has orientation at 4:30 today.. So I will pick him up for it..He is relieve he got the job....So am I because I can't support him...

So today I am taking it easy...Will do things that I want to enjoy...sewing and just relaxing...Let my body heal... I am so glad that the dogs are done for the year with their shots and will be on the amends with better food... They won't understand they won't be getting table foods...I am going to look for recipes to make our own healthy dog biscuits....

You have a wonderful day and may it be filled with many blessings...

Sunday

2011-10-09T18:29:00.002-05:00

Day of rest for me....

Kim came home from college for a visit to see me and her cat...

I have enjoyed my daughter being home..I miss her so.

Made tacos for dinner and I really enjoy them...

My blood glucose levels are finally getting a lot better..

I am feeling better and better each day..

Have alot of doctor appointments coming up in the next week or so..

Tomorrow is vet care for the dogs...it will be expensive.. It will be good to get that out of the way and Remington on the amends...he has such trouble with his ears...

Russ went to HyVee for their meat truck sale.. Got alot of good stuff for $71... Bought some McRiblets for easy dinners...not sure how good they are for you but they will be better than fast foods...I know in a month I will be going to chemo once a week and I need some dinners that are easy for us...Eating out is not an option anymore...

This Friday I will find out when I start chemo again... I really want to start once again so I can get on with my life...My port is healing slowly and not fast enough for me..I know I have to be patient...

I have decided to do reconstructive surgery after the mastectomy... I wasn't going to do a thing and just chop it off but I have been thinking more and more about having a fake boob.. I don't want to be lop sided...Just my thoughts at this moment and I will find out more when I see my new surgeon next week...

Even tho today was a day of rest I have been doing alot of thinking about the goings on in my life...I have many wonderful friends through this blog and I feel your prayers and I thank you so much for being there for me and listening to me...Following this journey I am going through...the peaks and valleys of it all...right now I am at a peak,... I feel God is lifting me through your prayers and I am talking about all my friends through this blog and through my church and my family...

I have a busy day tomorrow...Will pick up Dan so he can help me with the dogs at the Vets...The nurse is coming to take blood and give me new things for my IV pick and check the port area... after that we head to the Vets...Then Dan has a interview at Carlos O Kelly's at 4:30...pray they hire him... So it will be a busy day for me and that is why I rested today...

Have a wonderful evening and great week ahead...

Saturday evening...

2011-10-08T21:11:00.003-05:00

Today flew by...it was warm today and we ended up putting the AC on for me...I don't want to get over heated with the open would and with the IV pick.. So the AC went on and I hate hearing it on..cha ching cha ching...It is nice and cool in the house and Russ seems to be feeling better with it on.....

This morning we woke early...Russ was coughing and wanted to get up..He is slowly getting over the cold...I didn't want him to go food shopping...I was going to call Tim and Jessie to do it for us...I know they would have done it but Russ wouldn't hear of it.. So I fixed a nice breakfast so he wouldn't be hungry and add stuff to the basket.. He went early before all the crazy people go..He went to Walmarts...He would call me every few minutes to make sure he was getting the right things.. He did very good and even caught the cashier make a huge mistake. Cucumbers are not watermelon...she charged $9.98 for 2 cucumbers and Russ said I didn't buy watermelon.. She didn't care and corrected the mistake.. This is why I do not go to walmarts and the way I feel right now anyone working anywhere should be very thankful for their jobs..To many people are out of work...Everytime I have gone to walmarts they make huge mistakes and they get very testy when you catch mistakes...I don't have money to throw away like that....So Russ did a great job..

This afternoon I drove for the first time...On Monday I had a vet appointment for the dogs and I wanted to make sure the seat belt was okay with my IV pick and my wound where the port was...I did good so I know I can handle the driving.. Dan and Jessie will handle the dogs...I will pay for everything...OUCH...but well worth it...Won't have to worry about it for another year...I am changing vets... I have had the same one for 15 years...and she came to the house but we realized she really didn't do a thorough check up for the price I paid...Our golden retriever is having alot of problems...so I want him to be tested for a few things...Our pets are so part of this family...so I am getting them all checked out now...

Please continue that Dan gets his job back...He talked to the area rep and she has to get an okay with her boss...Pray that God softens this bosses heart...Dan is a good worker..But working for 6 years at the same restaurant and has high reviews should be taken in consideration...But they are making an example out of him they said...I am trying to believe him...He needs to find work and I told him he HAS to find something because I can not pay his rent nor anything else because of our mounting medical bills...I drove and gave him a $20 so he can buy his cigs...I told him to make it last because I can't give him anymore... I normally don't give him cash...This is a first in a long time..I love my children but he must find some work...Like I said with walmarts that anyone who has a job need to stop and think about how blessed they are even if it is walmarts...

Russ and I relaxed for the rest of the day....He needs to rest and get over this cold...I cleaned while Russ was food shopping... Then when he came home I put everything away... I need to slow down and do things slowly...it wore me out but I did rest in the afternoon....

I did not get any sewing done because I was searching for the dogs records...Need to organize my record keeping..I finally found them which was great...but it took me awhile...

I would love to go to church...I miss it so... You don't realize how much you miss something when you can't do it or have it...My daughter will be coming home tomorrow...and she will leave on Monday..Can't wait to see her....

Ya'll have a great Sunday...

A different day

2011-10-07T18:12:00.003-05:00

This morning I woke with a refreshed feeling..I haven't had one of those days in a few weeks...

I felt peace all through out me... It was great.. I know I have a long way to go...

My older son came over to use the printer...He is very upset about a few things and he was filling out applications to work somewhere else...He has worked at the same place for 6 years... They were short staffed and he had 13 tables to wait on..He is a really hard worker.. Well one of his tables was a mystery shopper and they were asking him all these questions.. They were sitting on the patio and it was cool evening and they have heaters out on the patio and they were on.. These mystery shoppers wanted to sit out on the patio...They kept asking him are the heaters working...He said yes and he adjusted the one near them a little higher...He asked them if they needed anything and they said no... So he went to his other tables.. And the mystery shopper asked him to come to there table again and they said they were still cold and asked what was he going to do about the cold... He turned to them and said he wasn't God and you chose to sit out here and he walked away...He knows he should not have talked to them in that way...So he was suspended and now maybe fired... So he is looking for work now...He is a bit down..If you could pray for him... He failed the mystery shoppers test and they said he was rude and lazy... He had 13 tables... He was the best.. I don't know what is going to happen because tomorrow he has to talk to the area rep at the place he worked at and see if they will take him back... He worked when they needed him... so it will be there loss...

I tried to cheer Dan up while he was here...he is broke.. So I packed him up with quite a bit of food... I gave him all my pasta made with white flour...one way to get rid of the food...Won't throw it out.. I went through all the odds and ends to give him...He is good with food for a few days...

While Dan was here he empty all the flower pots that were in the front yard...We put them up for the winter...Then I set out some fall decos...It looks nice...it was bugging me today...

My other son Dave came by to give Dan a ride home...it was nice seeing both of my Sons....

Nice to get the front of the house decorated alittle...Not so much as previous years...but simple is better....I love simple...

Russ came home at noon....His boss sent him home because he is sick...Sick with a cold... He has a bad one...Haven't see him sick with a cold in years...Poor guy...I feel he got a bad one from all the stress....

So while Russ watched a movie, I decided to get some of my potato sacks out and dip them in left over coffee to make them look older...It was nice to do that...I am letting them hang dry and they look great thus far...I will be making small things with them... It felt so good to work on some crafts and not be in a hurry...Since I decided not to make everything homemade for Christmas and get frustrated from not getting things done I have felt a peace around me.. I felt it confirmed to me that I am making a good decision..I will be taking the small projects to chemo and work on them...I feel useless sitting and doing nothing while sitting during chemo..I have to do being something...

As I was getting my potato sacks out I found my candle making stuff and I have some soy wax still and will be making a few candles in the near future...I have to read up on that... I use to do it all the time...

Today I made a list of things I want to get done with my crafts..I have a long list of things I want to do...one by one they will get done.. I live on list.. Thanks to my dear sweet mom...She lived by list to..

The weather today was nice... windy but nice...Our tree out front has lost alot of it's leaves... It was so pretty the other day..A bright yellow...just gorgeous...

Since I have diabetes and he is borderline diabetic from his bio work up at his work we have decided to get on track with our new way of life... Russ started to think about a garden next year to make things alot easier for us .. It will be great...All that brick work he put down is going to be taken up... the yard in that area is sloped and hard to walk even with the brick paths......So we are going to plan on fruit trees and blueberry bushes in that area...Right off my porch area were it is all flat we will put in a garden.. It will be easier to maintain like my potted veggies that I did this year...So that will be fun planning..The garden will be alot smaller but we will plant things that we really love and buy from local farmers for everything else...Support the local farmers and area crafters...

It is nice that I am looking at the future for next year... For a while I couldn't think that way...It means I am feeling better...

I hope you have a wonderful weekend...May it be filled with many blessings...

HOPE!!!! :)

2011-10-06T12:55:00.002-05:00

This morning I went to my Primary doctor... Russ came with me and we are thrilled... What a blessing it was....

Dr. Klein gave me hope... He feels the diabetes came from stress that my body is going through and he told me that after all the chemo and everything that I will probably get off the insulin if I do things right...Which is eating right..He told me to eliminate all white flour and sugars...eat only whole grains.. also lots of veggies and have some fruit... Keep away from sodas and ect..He said you should stay away from all refined white sugars and flours for the rest of our lives, also he wants to see me walking...nothing but walking..4 times a week starting off 10 minutes each time and build up...Dr.Klein told me to start now and when chemo is over then I can really build up....Dr. Klein specializes in diabetes and he told me that after all is said and done if Iam having problems after chemo is done then we will explore further... Years ago I was disappointed in him and today he gave me hope...I was so down yesterday and cried in the afternoon because it had all caught up with me...I prayed asking for some hope or light at the end of the tunnel... And today God gave me hope through my Doctor...He walked into the room and he shook his head and said you don't do anything ligthly do you...He said now you have been put through the ringer and from now on everything will look better...it is what I needed to hear...

He also recommended me to another general surgeon.. We were not happy with the infected port and the doctor not listening to me... So he recommended me to another one of course it is in the same building as the one I went to...But you know it is MY life and MY choice...The General Surgeon who he recommended in specializes in breast cancer patients and Dr. Klein said his wife would be going to him if she had breast cancer and no one else...Both Russ and I walked out of the doctors office feeling so much better and we both feel that there is hope back in our life....

Russ and I did stop on the way home and brought home lunch from McDonalds..I know we did the opposite of what the doctor said....I just had a cheese burger and 10 fries and I didn't get soda....I haven't had soda in over 2 weeks...I am over soda for the first time in my life..HAPPY DANCE...I had unsweetened ice tea and it was so good... The dogs got my second cheese burger and all the fries... They were in heaven..

I walked out feeling fantastic for the first time in a couple of weeks..I am regaining my strength by taking things slowly... I feel I have hope...I haven't felt that way since I ended up in the hospital....Now I feel I can fight.....

I was shocked with sticker prices when I was window shopping on line at fabric web sites..OUCH!!! When did prices of patterns go up??? I was all set to have a home made Christmas...Well lets say it will be half homemade... :) Things have changed slightly with that whole idea...I think I will be scouring the ads for sales and also I will be making things for Christmas...I want this Christmas to be a relaxed and happy one...My daughter informed me that packages are coming soon because she said she is doing her Christmas shopping already...She works at Kohl's and she looks for things on sale and then she gets another 15% off the sale item since she works there.. So she told me she is saving big time...Like today I got a thing in the mail from JcPenny's $10 of for any item $10 or more...Well that is how Christmas is going to be...Look for coupons and really think things through...Buy some things and make homemade things..Also it came with another coupon for $10 off $25 you spend...so two presents right there....I will have to be diligent and the bargain hunt will be fun...

It was so nice to get out of the house today just to ride to the doctors office...I had on a hat and man oh man the stares you get from people...One day I am going to speak up and ask if they have a problem...it was my first outing since losing my hair besides being in the hospital... So I was very nervous.. I need patience on this... I don't want to become a hermit and stay indoors...I would love to go to JCPenny's and get somethings with the coupons I have...I have to get the courage to go out and get over people staring at me... UGH....I should have sat directly across from this person and stare back....watch them wiggle in there seats...Sorry.. I was mad...I do have that right....One thing I am learning is standing up for me... I don't do that well but I am sure learning...

Well I am going to go and take a nap... One thing I am learning is to take a moment and rest... Then I will find something to work on...

I can't wait till tonight...I am so hooked on Project Runway...A new one is on tonight.. Maybe just maybe I will start designing my own patterns instead of buying them that are so outrageously expensive....

Have a great day and may it be filled with many blessings....

Wednesday

2011-10-05T07:29:00.002-05:00

It's a chilly fall morning but the highs will be around 80...Perfect weather...

Russ is coming down with a cold.... I hope I don't get it..I know his body was run down because of all the stress...

Each day I am gaining ground with feeling better..I am holding back on doing things. It is hard to do..

When you are hit with being so sick and being in the hospital alot of things go through your mind...Mine big thing is I want to clean so bad. I want to bless my home.. I am do greatful for so many things...I can't wait to get some of my energy back...I am alittle anemic....So I am eating things that help with iron...I don't want to stick another pill down my throat...

Yesterday I worked on making appointments... I hit road block after road block..They all want referrals from a doctor...Even with diabetes education.. So I decided to go back to my primary physican... They have all my paper work..When I made the appointment the nurse knew everything which I am so happy about...So I see my primary tomorrow morning.. I want to weed through the doctors...See who I really need... Russ is taking the morning off and he will come with me to see the primary...Sometimes I don't get everything and with another set of ears it is very helpful....

I rewatched the project runway shows and I enjoyed them again....Hopefully today I will get into my sewing room and get a few projects to work on...

I think I am going to sit in the sun this afternoon on the deck....I want to absorb the sun rays...it is beautiful outside.....Opening the curtains to let the sun shine in...

I hope you have a wonderful day, may it be filled with many blessings...

A beautiful sunny day

2011-10-04T09:47:00.003-05:00

Good Morning...

I enjoyed yesterday...I am enjoying today more than yesterday...No one is scheduled to come here...it's all me today and my babies (pets). They surround me all the time..They did not like it that I was away for a week...

I have been scheduling appointments..The health system is a joke.. I am at my wits end.. I am suppose to received a phone call from a diabetes education place and I have never received a call...I found out through the Care Pro Nurse that comes to check me with the IV and all my vital signs that they have diabetes education. So I called my insurance company and it is covered and I am excited because I do love this company.. She will be calling me back with information...I have no clue in what I am doing with this diabetes...I am finding out oranges spike my blood sugar...I so love oranges and OJ...but need to limit it big time...

I am learning that I am a self inflicted diabetic... All the white sugars an white flours and starches.... Wheat is in my diet now...no more white things...

Please continue to pray that my open wound heals fast from where the port was... I want to start with chemo again and get this all behind me... I can't feel the tumor right now...I don't feel it at all...So I want to start it and really kill the tumor..

Russ and I have a long road ahead of us with medical bills...And we have so many other things that need to be done.. So we are going to be on a belt tightening budget...Save where we can.. I would like to list things in the future where we had spent unwisely and now are saving in areas... Alot of people are doing that right now...Teaching each other ways to save... With the holidays fast approaching we want to make our Christmas a homemade Christmas... I am so looking forward to that...

Yesterday I vacuumed with my left arm and it felt good ... Today I don't have anything major to do or minor...just resting my body so it can heal... I will be working on some quilting and embroidery... I haven't done that in such a long time... God wants me to sit and be still and heal...that is what I am doing today...I have alot of potato sacks that I will be making things for Christmas... I have so many ideas that I want to do...

I would love to go to church this Sunday but I don't think it is a good idea being on antibiotics and with a wound that is open..well it is covered...I feel really good...So I think I will wait another week to go...before I start chemo..

May you have a wonderful fall day and may it be filled with many blessings...

Back on track....

2011-10-03T10:20:00.002-05:00

Good Monday Morning, I hope your week is starting off on a good start...

It's back to normal..My husband is back at work full time... He has been wonderful..with the economy you worry about taking time off or how much the insurance is costing your company. But you have to put your faith in God that everything will work out..If I didn't have faith that things would work out I don't know where I would be at..not in a good place at all with stress..

I am enjoying this morning...No one coming to take blood pressure and blood sugar and starting IV's... I hear the birds singing and it is the most amazing sound ever this this morning..

When I was at the hospital I came upon the show Project Runway...I have never watched it before..I am hooked.. I love watching them design things.. It has me motivated to design somethings.. I love it and I have been watching some of the shows this morning on the On Demand channel... No news no depressing stuff or things like that..It is fun and relaxing...And gets my creative juices going...

I did vacuum this morning... I couldn't stand it.. The dogs are shedding their summer coats...ugh.. I didn't use my heavy vacuum... I used my little bug that is a cannister that Russ fixed a couple of weeks ago...So it wasn't bad and I had to use my left hand...man oh man my left arm is being used more than I have in my whole life time...

Our gas grill is not in good shape.. We lite the grill to have steak last night and the flames were shooting up under the grill..so we turned it off..Russ looked up parts and decided that isn't worth fixing...We will use the grill with charcoal and then next spring we get a new grill.. We want to have a supply of charcoal just in case we lose power this winter and we can cook on the grill...

I am getting use to pricking the finger to get my blood sugar readings..So far it has been good...

Well I should close for now and get a few more things done...Yes I am taking it easy...

Have a wonderful day and may it be filled with many blessings...

Please take care of you....

2011-10-02T08:45:00.002-05:00

Good Sunday morning to you...It is a crisp fall day and I wish I could be going to church or walking at the cancer walk...

I was going to come on here to complain and whine about my hospital stay...I am not going to do that except to tell you that you must take control of your health..

I went through alot...I had fluid drained from around my lungs from they pumping so many fluids into me..I am diabetic now.. which I am learning to deal with...But I couldn't understand what they were feeding me..I will be going through diabetic training soon.. Right now we are on our own.. My sweet daughter in law bought me books on diabetes...I have learned alot from them..

I ended up with thrush from antibiotics... UGH...

I had a infectious disease doctor because of my blood infection...He is fantastic... He wanted my port out and all other doctors said no... I agreed...The general surgeon who put the port in said I didn't need to take it out..Well he was told by the infectious disease doctor to take it out and he did...well the minute he started cutting me puss came pouring out... I was right...Doctors do not listen... that is one thing I have learned...

Twice in the hospital two different nurses tried to give me the wrong meds... I questioned them...they realized there mistake...As I said please take care of yourself get tested for things..Then take charge of your own care...

With all the millions that are poured into health care the health care system has gone down hill...

My oncologist was upset that no doctor had tested me for any blood work in the last 10 years and I have been seeing a cardiologist for those 10 years...

I have put my foot down with the healing where the port was..I will not continue chemo until it is healed..I have a big hole where it was..they are letting it heal from with in..I change my own dressing now..I am giving myself my own IV antibiotics...I had Pro Care come last night and teach me how to do it... They will be doing all blood test and all that....She will be checking where the port was.. She will be checking my new pit... It is a catheter for IV.. I have to give myself antibiotics 3 times a day... I am eating healthy foods not like the foods I got in the hospital... I could not understand what they were feeding me as a diabetic...they were counting the carbs... For breakfast I had a bacon egg cheese biscuit... milk and a fruit cup... Lunch was to thin slices of beef with gravy on a piece of white bread and mashed potatoes and broccoli... then for dinner I had a piece of breaded cod with mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans....a fruit cup and then later that evening they brought me a sugar cookie....I questioned the sugar cookie big time... I couldn't understand that one... The nurse did not either..she said it would have been better with something like peanut butter and a cracker...In all the books I have read they said watch the potatoes... The nurse from Pro-Care said they really messed up your diet...They would let me choose certain foods...

Right now my hubby is at the grocery store getting health foods to eat and heal my body...

Outside my window of my hospital room was a beautiful view... I could see church steeples and I took a few pictures on my cell phone... God gave me this view.... I was ready to give up... No one prepared me for what I was going to go through...I just thought it was going to be the chemo and side affects...after talking to many people this is not uncommon... That ports get infected all the time...I am a little upset with that..Why didn't anyone tell me about the thing I have now...so much easier and less painful...from my stand point I will never recommend a port...

My husband is very exhausted... He was so worried and is still worried... My wonderful kids have stepped up to the plate and Dave and Dan did the lawn... Tim and Jessica cleaned my home... Kim my poor daughter is upset that she is at school and not with me.. So I called her and told her I was home you could tell her in her voice that she was relieved... But we are all doing okay now...Was very scary for a while...

I am ready to fight once again but this time I won't be over doing it...I can't do everything...

Tomorrow will be different...Russ will be at work all day... I will be alone... I can handle it...But will rest...Pro Care is suppose to come at 1 so that will be a break...

It is so good to be home with Russ... And my pets..

Hugs to everyone...I felt your prayers and still do...Have a wonderful Sunday...

going home tomorrrow...

2011-09-30T16:34:00.002-05:00

I haven't been able to update you because the wi-fi is not good here at the hosptial..
From my last post I was pretty drugged up... My spirits are up.. I am feeling better... I will have home care coming in and helping with antibiotics that still have to be IV fed...

I am a diabetic and compared to what I have been through the whole diabetic stuff will be a breeze....

Will update ya'll tomorrow...

Many Blessings to all of you and I feel all the prayers...Lisa

hello

2011-09-27T18:55:00.002-05:00

I wanted to keep you updated...Please pray for me...I am very very ill...

The port that was put in got infected very bad...It never healed from the surgury and I questioned them at the time of the first chemo if they should wait a week...butingthey insisted it was aright....then the seoond chemo then with the same then with the second chemo I question because it ached....no it is okay....well a week went by and my arm was so sore then on saturday I became violently ill I had a high fever...
We to the Er at the thought I was nuts.... So they had me stay over night and a infectiou disease Doctor came to my rescue and he felt it was my port....What he says goes.... So they called in the doctor who put it in...when he sliced into it all this puss came pouring out it... That was the cause of it... My lungs are now infected and will have to have them drained in the morning...I am very ill.... on top of dealing with diabetis... I sm at my wits end....I will not have another port put in..not sure what I could do....but my oncologist has been awesome and so is the infectious disease doctor and now the pulunmary doctore...This afternoon I broked down and told them I want to die....

Anyways I sitting here in my bed....with Russ beside me worry sick...Kids have been my my side....doctors said another day I would not have made it...

I will keep you posted....please pray the lung procedure will turn out good....Lisa

Prayer is needed for my mom

2011-09-24T21:00:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone....This is Lisa's daughter Kim. My mom was admitted to the hospital today with an infection. They believe the infection is in her port and it will probably have to be removed. We also found out that she has diabetes. She will be in the hospital for a few days, so please pray for her.

Thanks!

Kim

Sweet weekend coming up!!!!

2011-09-23T10:24:00.002-05:00

Good Friday morning....
Thought I would show you how scarves look or turbans with a scarf...Believe me the one is red and not orange..I am truly have fun trying different ones...

Yesterday I did get in the crafts room...I have so much and a pile of things that really shouldn't be in there...but I am not going to worry over it...But I can get in and play....

I can not wait till my daughter comes home today..pray for safe travels...

I have many things to do this weekend and the number one is I want to go to church so bad and I told Russ nothing is going to hold me from going...That time is going to be reserve for the Lord....How I miss it..and you know what?? All the times I didn't go because I was to dang lazy to go and now I want to...I told Russ every other weekend I will go...The weekend after the chemo my immune system is way to low..But knowing how my body works now and feeling the bone marrow grow and I know my immune system can handle going...As long as I am careful...So this Sunday is church for.... Tonight and Saturday is dedicated to my sweet dear daughter... and we are going to watch some FOOT BALL!!!! Now all I have to do is decide on is chili or Mexican fiesta.... one tonight and one for the football game...I will let her decide... Russ will pick up everything tonight on his way home from work... Sweet....

It is a cool day.... I love it...Men are working on the apartments roofs... Hammering... new roof...I don't mind the noise...It use to bother me...I use to get bent out of shape for small stupid things.. Now nothing really bothers me that much... And knowing they are working is a blessing...

Have a GREAT weekend....love your family and have some fun because I am.... Many blessings to you..

I feel free.....

2011-09-22T10:06:00.002-05:00

I can't explain it but I feel so free this morning...

Last night Russ finished up shaving my head...I couldn't see the back...I did it myself but I knew I missed alot in the back...I had cut my hair real short so I could get use to having no hair.. Then last night it was all done...no more hair...It felt great.. The reason for so many tears was because I didn't know what I would look like or what Russ would think...again my husband came through... So now I am free from the bondage of my hair and all the emotions...

The funny part is now I want to wear my cotton hats... not the caps... My head is cold!!! Last night I went to bed with no hat on... I had the fan on...I use the fan when it is -40 out side...Have to have the air circulation... I got up in the middle of the night to put a cotten turban style hat on..Oh did it feel good and warm..Now I want to look for some cute sleep hats...they are so pretty...

When I stepped into the shower last night after shaving the hair...I started laughing.... I didn't know what to use on my head...Soap or shampoo??? I used shampoo... then I got out and had two towels sitting out...one for head and one for body...I was a every night shampooer... I laughed again...don't need second towel...Save on towels!!!

And another funny thing I noticed...I use to flip my hair alot....Never knew that.....Until I went to flip it and there was nothing there..I am laughing out for no reason now and Russ looks at me and I said another funny habit I found I had... Things you learn...

Today is going to be a lazy day for me...After chemo the next day, I go in for this shot to help the bone marrow come back... well you feel the bone marrow a week after the shot...Man oh man I am feeling it today in my hips and chest and shoulders...It is a good thing...It means my body is working right...So I will embrace it with some tylenol and rest...

I also made my first pot of coffee...I don't drink ocffee...I don't like warm drinks... Ice cold the better... But for some reason I wanted coffee.. So I called Russ in how to make it...don't laugh because seriously I didn't know.. So he told me ...Then I got out mocha cappincchino stuff... After the coffee was done I put the mocha stuff in it...OH MY GOODNESS I am hooked...I loved it...I trully feel awake now...So I sipped on my mocha coffee listening to my DVD fireplace and the fire crackling and watching the birds eating....talk about feeling free...it was so nice to just sit and feeling free...

I never got to the craft room but will try and get to it a little later...I would like to plan some things to make for Christmas....Christmas is going to be a home made christmas...I am loving the feeling of a down home country christmas...

I am pretty excited...My daughter Kim is coming home friday night from college.. She wants to see me and her cat Molly... She has to work saturday evening so she will be here the one night..I am so looking forward to seeing her.. She wants to watch her favorite college football team... So I will be making a pot of chili for the game... it will be a while till I see her again because she is working weekends...I told Russ on my good weekends I would like to surprise her and bring her a goodie box one afternoon...her school is only an hour and 10 minutes away...So it will be nice to get out one afternoon...

Have a great day and may it be filled with many blessings....

Changes...

2011-09-21T13:53:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to show you the new me right now... No hair...but hats on... I am reminding you to get your Mammos... Please don't forget....

Last night I had a melt down about the whole hair thing...Bad hair day...I ended up shaving my head...I had to..The hair falling out all over the place about drove me 6 feet under...My husband helped...What a dear sweet man I have... I felt so defeated last night.. But my rock saved the day...

My life is based on a foundation that is held up by the Lord and the head of our home on this earth is my dear sweet husband... And he took charge last night..

Today is different...I woke feeling great that I have the foundation firm...

I love fireplaces and this home doesn't have one so I have this DVD of a real fireplace burning and you can hear the fire crackling...I sat and had some devotion time with the Lord while listening to the fire crackle and then I started cleaning... Then my older son called and asked if he could do anything...I went and picked him up and he mowed the yard...One less thing I have to worry about...Then I cleaned all around the front door...OH MY GOODNESS did we have these big ugly brown spiders this year..UGH...I sprayed them and then they all died and I put out my fall decos around the front door...Fed the birds the rest of the bird seed I had...This weekend I will get more...I love watching the birds..Simple blessings...

Again here is the new me... Have a great day...

This is the cream color hat...It is very comfortable..

This is my favortie...I love the sparkles...and one of my favortie colors is red...

Guess what I did....

2011-09-20T10:35:00.002-05:00

Happy Tuesday...I am feeling back to normal....I feel my energy coming back..

Not one doctor has told me to take vitamins...I know I am not eating right. Because like being prego and the nausea, I feel like I am prego in that area... Of course I am not.. So I am going to take vitamins... of course that is not what I did...

Last weekend I asked Russ if he could take a look at my little bug...My little bug is a Hoover canister vacuum...it's a small one... I love the thing..it has suction power that is better then my upright.. The bug has a automatic chord thing...push a button and it sucks up the cord... Well it sucked it up the last time and it got all tangled and Russ looked up on the Internet and it said this is a known problem but if you take it apart you my break wires....well I couldn't use the vacuum because the chord was so tight inside the chord would heat up...Because I thought I would just use an extension chord to use..So we talked and said I couldn't use it the way it is so why not try and take it apart...Russ was successful with taking it apart and undoing the chord...I won't wind it up anymore with the automatic winder....

Anyways my hair is driving me nuts or what little is left...There was hair all over the couches and it wasn't the dogs hair either...Before the chemo I kepted telling Russ my hair is thinning alot and that I may have to wear a wig one day...Thats what I thought..well let me tell you I have so much hair... It's everywhere...So I was sucking up my hair with the little bug off the couches...Geeez....Ha I thought okay I am going to use the little bug on my own head!!!! And I vacuumed my head...I never thought in a million years I would do that... anyway it helped with the hair falling all over the place....The things we do...

Today I am going to work in my craft room...I haven't really been in there much...I thought I would spend some time in there...but I haven't wanted to.. Don't know why.. But I m feeling it today to go and straighten it out because I have thrown alot of things in there.. I feel the urge to start doing some crafting once again...

I have decided not to wear hats in the house.. They drive me nuts..just when I walk at a fast pace to get the mail...HEE HEE.. I feel so much better with out the hat...I am wanting all my hair gone now..I am ready...the shorter cut was the way to go so I can get use to the baldness....Now it's time to have it all come off...but I will not shave it...Geeez I would probably cut my head so many times..So I will continue to vacuum my head.. HEE HEE....I will tell you it feels pretty cool...

I have been watching alot of HGTV and getting ideas...Maybe that's why I want to work in my craft room...

It's a beautiful day outside... I got on the scale today and have lost 10 pounds... Not that I am saying cancer is a way to lose weight but if I do that is one blessing.... Oh and this is the most important... the tumor as shrunk... I didn't have to search before and now I have to feel alot to find what is left of it... so God is blessing me so much...I know God is going to heal.. I feel it...

Well off to the craft room.. Have a great day and may it be filled with many many blessings...

Monday

2011-09-19T13:24:00.002-05:00

Today is a beautiful day....The sun is out and I love the fresh air...

Last night I decided to cut alot of my hair off before I showered last night..My hair was falling out at a fast rate and it was driving me nuts..The night before the tub was filled with so much hair and I had a fear we were going to get a clog in the sewer line..I didn't want that expense right now...Plus I had such a fear of going bald and I wanted to cut the hair short so I could take that next step before going bald... So I cut alot of off...Gathered some of the hair to make my own real natural bangs.. Yup I am cheap and with real hair stuff is way out of my price range...

So I came out of the shower and crawled into bed...Russ had already fallen asleep...Or at least I thought he was...He woke up and took one look and said I looked beautiful...Of course I started bawling..Good grief I have cried more in the lsst month then our entire marriage of 25 years...Russ is finally getting use to the tears and he just holds me...Thats all I need...

But this whole hair thing is not easy... It is down right depressing to see your hair fall out..But I have to get use to it... There is no other way.. Hats and turbans are driving me absolutely nuts...hey all cover your ears....I don't like my ears covered...I want to hear things all around me.. So maybe I have to shine my head when I am completely bald and put on these huge loop earrings and fold my hands like Mr. Clean.....

My main goal is to figure out something that looks good and stays on your head and doesn't cover up your ears...Maybe cute head bands....I don't know...

Friday night my son and his wife brought us some pizza...it was good pizza and it was good not to cook..

My kids think I am so sick that I can't do anything..I have tried to explain to them that I am okay...My son Tim wants to brng over there extra mattress and set it up in the spare bedroom so I don't have to go up and down stairs..I tried to explain to him my legs and arms are okay it's my boob that isn't good and it just sits and does nothing...I love my kids and I am not a preson who likes to be waited on...that is a big issue for me... All tho I did tell Tim that the dinners are really nice... Because I am cooking all the time and not eating out anymore...We just can't spend the extra money on that...Besides I would be petrified to go out with a bald head or a hat..even tho hats are in this year..

I know the first time will be hard... then it will be a piece of cake after that...You should have seen me when I walked out to get the mail...I took off the turban because it looks ulgy to me...So I put on a baseball cap...Then I opened the garage door looked to see if anyone was walking down the street or driving down the street...I walked really fast and grabbbed the mail and then I grabbed the garbage bins and walked back in the garage at a high rate of speed......I was happy I didn't see anyone...In our neighborhood people don't really speak to each other...Only a few handful of people..other wise everyone doesn't have anything to do with anyone...that is one thing I don't like about this neighborhood.. I felt so stupid afterwards thinkng with this whole cancer thing It may bring this neighborhood together...I don't know.....I felt better after I went out the first time getting the mail.. So I know things will get better at each step I take...

I know I have said how many blessings Chemo has brought to our family..I don't want to lead on and say that chemo is a piece of cake...it isn't that at all...It is scary but once I went through it I knew what was going to happen...But the whole hair things is the scariest and it brings all these emotions out... Now all I do is look at hair cuts on TV....Telling my self how I will change once my hair comes back in...no more of the same hairdo for years and years...I am going to go totally different... :)

Well these are my thoughts for today...I hope you have a wonderful day...May it be filled with many blessings..

Sunday Afternoon

2011-09-18T14:28:00.002-05:00

It's been a quiet weekened..Not alot going on..

My second chemo went well...I am not as nauseated as the first time but tired yes...I don't have the foggy head either like last time...But again tired...I did managed to finish the living room with decorating...Not doing anymore..It is simple and that is what I wanted..Not alot of dusting and nic nacs..

My hair is falling out big time...It's to the point I may want to get rid of the rest because I feel hair all over and then I think it is a spider crawling on me...Or I get a piece of hair in my mouth or wrapped around my glasses...I guess the downside of chemo.. I guess it could be worse...

I have 2 more chemo sessions and then I have 12 weeks of other stuff...I have some good news and that is I can definitely feel it has gotten smaller...

My little angel Molly ( cat ) who had cancer and she has been by my side ever since I discovered cancer has her cancer back...I found 3 small tumors...I guess I am pretty down about that and I am sorry if I am down...But she is my angel..So it's going to very hard..God is in control and I know that... But it is still hard...So please pray for her that these tumors are gone...

I finished the side table that Russ has made me and it is decorated...Will have pictures tomorrow...I have put quilts on the bottom shelf and the cats love sleeping there...

Russ has been cutting out wooden ornaments for us to work on and paint for the holidays...Never made the salt dough ornaments but may try this week...Hopefully the energy will come back..It did last time..

I have had this craving for chocolate and vinilla ice cream cones...Goodness...It soothes the belly....

I have been taking care of my older sons cat and she is suppose to go today...My one cat Sophia does not like this cat one bit and have to keep them seperated...Dan isn't allowed to have cats in his new place..He has someone taking the cat to her parents home who have a farm...I can't take on a third cat besides my Sophia does not like this cat at all...So it has been a little stressful...

Have a great day and may it be filled with many blessings...

Wednesday

2011-09-14T20:03:00.002-05:00

Today was chemo day...Went faster today...My daughter in law came with me and it was nice...

Jessica had this big huge book and I thought she was studying because she was in her last semester of college...So I asked her what she was studying...Oh I got this Martha Stewarts book on cooking..And she is studying Thanksgiving dinners...I laughed to so hard..She has no idea.. I told her about my first thanksgiving dinner in how I left the neck and gizzards in the turkey....Had no idea they were there...We talked about all these foods and then we realized the lady 2 chairs away had a barf bag and we realized we were making her queasy talking about food and I apologized to her..So we stopped talking about food...Now if she barfed I would have to...

I started on a crocheted scarf for winter while getting chemo and all the nurses were in awe and thought the yarn I was using was beautiful...My foot massager was watching me crochet. There are 3 wonderful nurses and the foot massager that work with me that are getting a scarves from me...I have all kinds of yarn...They all loved the natural colors I was using...So I will stay with natural colors..

The chemo went good...I knew what to expect...last time I didn't and I didn't know what to expect...This time I knew and it went faster...I have felt some nausea and a head ache...Ginger ale helps...I really didn't feel like eating and had some wanton soup...I am tired...

Tomorrow I have to go back for the shot for the bone marrow...

Friday I go in to get a blood test for A1C glucose level...It will show my blood glucose levels for the past 4 months..My oncologist thinks I may be diabetic...UGH...Please pray I don't have to deal with that on top of all this...I know I can change things with food...I love pasta and will have to watch it...If it is okay this is also a wake call for me..

The good news I saw my oncologist saw me today and I will be seeing her the beginning of each chemo session..She normally doesn't see patients until the 4th chemo treatment but because of my heart and then how large my tumor is she wants to see me....I told her that I check the tumor every few days and I told her I think it is in my head but I think it has shrunk...I told her I feel it dieing....It tingles...So she checked the tumor and told me that it is NOT in my head that it has shrunk alittle.....Happy dance !!!!

Monday...

2011-09-12T12:10:00.002-05:00

We had a really nice weekend...It went very fast...Russ woke this morning groaning in the fact he has a full 5 days of work...He has taken some days off with all my doctor appointments and then Labor Day...

Sunday was beautiful....I was worn down a bit and stayed home from Church...We slept late and then I woke and made pancakes for my hubby... I hadn't made them in a long time...it was a very good...My throat was giving me some problems because I wouldn't give up spicy foods and with the digestive problems chemo does it was a no no for me...I needed to go to less spicy foods...so pancakes are soft and the pancakes hit the spot. Then Russ and I decided to work on some wood projects...Russ finshed another side table for me to go in front of the bannister...This morning I painted it a midnight blue and then I will stain it tomorrow...All my fall decos are sitting out waiting for a place...

I worked on finishing up some projects while Russ was working on the table..It as so good to get somethings finished.. Before cancer I was lazy...Cancer has changed me... no more procrastinating... that is a blessing...I have more energy right now then I did before chemo...Yes there are three or four days with each chemo treatment that I am tired and nuseated but the rest of the days are pretty amazing...I was so scared of chemo...I am not scared of the monster of chemo..I can handle it now and the only reason why I can handle it because I have this awesome God who stands beside me at all times...All I have to do is reach out and he holds me up...

Blessings from chemo
1) God is on my side
2) no more hair on my legs!! YES
3) no more hair under arms!! YES
4) Still have the hair on my head! YES
5)Russ and I are so close and thought we were close before...
6) I have wonderful friends that I didn't even think I had because I had a wall around me
7)I have a wonderful family that cares deeply
8)Today is a warm and beautiful day
9) I had lost my love of cooking and I have found it again
10) My creative juices are flowing once again which I felt I lost that

All those blessings were in front of me the whole time...but I took everything for granted...sometimes it takes something to bring things to light... I am so Blessed....

Have a wonderful day....

Early Sunday Morning

2011-09-11T06:01:00.002-05:00

Good morning... Woke early because I had a good nights sleep...

Friday night I couldn't sleep at all..Had some tea in the evening and it was caffeinated...So at 2:30 in the morning I made out a detailed grocery list...I made it for 2 weeks planning dinners and breakfast for Russ and then the lunches for Russ and I...I know this would be my last food shopping day for a while..And I plan on making them for 2 weeks each time so Russ doesn't have to do a weekly shopping trip...With fall coming upon us I can buy the fall squashes and they last longer then other veggies.. The menu plan got done at 2:30 in the morning and I fell asleep at 4 am slept till 8 am...

Saturday I decided we would do a lot of errands...I want to beable to make Sunday a day of rest for Russ and I...so we began our day going to get some meds for chemo on Wednesday so I didn't have to go into a pharmacy after chemo... sick people go in there... :) Then we stopped by Tim and Jessie's to get some wood that Tim was going to get rid of...I felt so blessed to get wood to make some christmas things...He gave us some cedar wood for fenceing and and he asked if I wanted it and I said yes...Russ is looking at me like what on earth do you have planned...anyways we have some future projects ahead of us...

We came home and changed from the truck to the car and headed to the local farm stand and we bought some fresh veggies..Prices ouch!!! We didn't buy alot because they didn't have butternut squashes in yet..I bought acorn tho...$2 a piece!!! ouch but I know they will be good.. We bought a watermelon and fresh homemade pickles...The pickles were $6 for the jar...I normally would spend that kind of money but I know this is how they make a living and I know they work hard... I felt good buying them and now I hope they are good..

I thought with the big college game being played because it is like the super bowl here in Iowa... I thought we could go grocery shopping at Walmarts because everyone would be home watching the game...I haven't been to walmarts in such a long time...And I was reminded why yesterday why I don't go there...We managed to get everything we needed for 2 weeks...Thats pet food to...The only thing I need to get is milk and eggs and some fruit...I kept wiping down the basket... When you know you have to watch germs you notice things big time... I don't know about you and how your raise your kids but I taught my kids don't touch!!! I saw so many kids touching so many things just going down the aisles touching..I know kids learn by touch... But man oh man Russ was noticing it and he would get a wippie for me and I would use it on the basket and then I have small bottle of handsantizer in my purse....I wanted to get out of Walmarts so bad... Then I get to the cashier and she was slow as a sloth... Let me tell you I am normally not bothered by it but she needed some caffeine big time...She talked like she was stoned and she wasn't because I have had her before..she is a sweet heart... Her conveyor belt was barely working so I was helping her and she kept thanking me because she said most won't... Anyways we finally got home and I was starving.... Russ and I unloaded the groceries and while I was putting them away he went to go and get Little Ceasar's pizza... For $8 we got a pizza and bread sticks... can't go to Wendy's and feed two people with $8...

So we sat down to eat the pizza and put on the big foot ball game... No sound... No picture at times... Called Tim and asked if he was having problems... He was not happy...this game was important to him because it was his college who was playing... He told me Media Com really messed things up... They had tech problems all through out the game till the last minute of the game... The game went into 3 over times and at least we watched them with sound and a picture...It was a good game and we have a lot of sad Hawkeye people in town..My Son's team WON!!! They were the underdogs... Tim is a very happy camper...I know he will be rubbing it in to alot of people at his work on Monday... Oh by the way the pizza was out of this world...I was so hungry...

I realized that I felt so run down and with Chemo it does some pretty crazy stuff to your body...I realized some mouth sores were in my mouth when I ate the pizza with tomato sauce but the pizza was good...I think I have sores down my throat to... Then I just wasn't feeling great and I also had a yeast infection so out to the store once again to Walgreens...I can't let my body run down...Oh they told me when I went to get my shot to help rebuild your white blood cells they said I would be having some pain in the bones and also in the sternum of your chest... Well they were right on with the sternum...I am so thankful I knew because I would have thought I was having a heart attack with the pressure you feel...I realize my body is working correctly...

There are times I feel like I don't have cancer because I feel so good... And those times I have to learn to slow down and not try and play catch up from the times I wasn't feeling good...I have to stop feeling guilty ......I think what is going to get me through this is planning things out... Like the menu plan and on my good days get projects laid out for my lazy days so I can get alot of needle work done...especially those days on chemo day sitting in a chair for a few hours....it's all about planning...

I was going to go to church this morning, I am achey this morning and I feel worn down from trying to play catch up yesterday.. I will put on my worhship songs and rest....

Have a wonderful Sunday and may it be filled with many blessings...

2011-09-09T07:03:00.002-05:00

It's a gorgeous morning this morning...Fall like and it has gotten me in the mood for fall decorating...

I woke feeling so good...I know next wednesday it will start all over again...I making plans with resting my bad days and then on my good days just have fun...

Last weekend we picked apples from our apple tree and I am going to make apple sauce today...It won't be alot so I will make it to eat up this coming week...Then I have some tomatoes left that I will chop and make my own salsa for the week ahead...Our garden didn't farewell but I will not waste what we did get...

This weekend we will go and visit a local farm stand to see if they have butternut squash and acorn squashes since ours didn't do well at all...will start cooking them up and freezing them for winter..Russ and I both love butternut squash...especially when I mske it with brown sugar and pecans on top of it..So I can't wait to go and get some goodies...

This afternoon I would like to make salt dough ornaments for fall decorating...painting them while watching the big football game tomorrow..

Lets take a moment to pray for all those on the East Coast with the flooding and take a moment to pray that God keeps America safe this weekend....

Enjoy your day and may it be filled with many Blessings...

Prayers are going out..

2011-09-08T14:46:00.002-05:00

Prayers are going up for all those affected in Pennsylvania... We use to live near there and it is such a beautiful state...The floods are horrible and I pray that all the bloggers up in that region are safe...

Just know I am praying for your saftey during this difficult time...(((HUGS)))

a gorgeous day...

2011-09-07T16:07:00.002-05:00

Fall is in tne air in Iowa....Goodness these past few days have been out of this world...It lifts the spirits in ya.. You guys lift my spirits... I keep saying that...Friends I have met through blogging and my church friends and my family and love your bro!!!

Yesterday my Pastor came for a visit and it was a very nice visit...He prayed for me and for the first time I woke with out a headache...A wonderful feeling...

Russ and I are going to try and go to church this Sunday...We can sit in the back and away from children because school has started...During greeting time I will wave...but I want to be there during my good weekends...God has opened my heart to so many wonderful blessings with this cancer. Yes I do have my moments with Russ about this whole cancer stuff...I put all the papers up...I am not going to any of the free stuff... I want to enjoy the moments that I feel good being with loved ones and spending quiet times with God... It is such a wonderful wonderful feeling..

This morning I surprised the heck out of Dan my eldest who has been having a hard time because he wants to help so much and has no car...needs rides and ect...Yes there is the bus system and he does take it...but his pennies are very short..So I called him and asked if he needed a ride...He kepted asking me if I was okay. I needed to go to the post office to mail some bills...so he said yes..Well I brought him a bunch of left overs for him to eat...made stew the other night and he has several meals with that... plus a bunch of other things...He was so thankful...

All I know is getting out and driving today was fantastic...Hadn't driven in such a long time and I am the driver in our family and I have had to let that go...Lots of things I have had control over the past 25 years of our marriage and let me tell you it is not easy at all...

I sat in the sun this morning and it felt great..I felt healing...Yes healing through the power of the big beautiful sun...

Russ told me we were going to go for drives and watch the colors of the trees...WOW!!! Newbie for him.. He isn't that type of person and and he wants to do things like that with me...I am so for it... I told him to pick pine cones to make presents..Yes I still have the creative side wanting to do things... That is good to..I even of thinking of getting a fishing license to go and sit on a lake and fish with the kids..How awesome is that.. Things we took for granite we want to do now and I know I am not going to die..but things we just look the other ways...These are the blessings I am talking about...

Oh did I tell you I still have my hair??? HA..would have thought..Bought hats and I have my hair...Not complaining one bit because wouldn't it be awesome if I kept it?? Dang I still have to shave my legs!!! I'll take it..

Now I can do with out the nausea!...No mouth sores yet... I am very happy about that.. Bones are aching from the shot that makes your bone marrow produce the white cells but I will take that to because that means this body is working...I am not saying chemo is a piece of cake...It isn't...lots of rest you have to do.. But it feels good to rest...

I have 3 more chemos to do..I though it was going to be 6 but it is a set of 4- 2 weeks apart and then I have to do 12 weeks of something else...and I have to go every week.. But the reactions are way different and not as bad as what I am getting now...The only thing that sucks is everytime I go I have to pay the co-pay of $50 each time..But ya know we cut back on the eating out and other stuff we can do it with discpline and with the Lord's help... and making pine cone things for presents for Christmas... I am so looking forward to this holiday season..

My kids have said no cooking for Thanksgiving for me...Now that I may like...Don't know what it is like yet... Sweet huh...

Have a great evening....May it be filled with many blessings...

A nice weekend...

2011-09-06T12:34:00.002-05:00

I am doing pretty good... Very tired....
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My daughter came home from college and it was so nice to see her...She surprised me.. Didn't tell me she was leaving to come home...I had chemo that day and I think she wanted to get home to see me...

Friday was okay... Saturday was okay I was taking my nauseated meds.. They help alittle... salty things are better...But I wasn't expecting headaches....Those I don't like...

Sunday I woke feeling a bit more tired...

I have to back up to Saturday...i had to get the shot Saturday morning to get my white blood cells going again...It was raining and Russ and I decided to stop at HYVEE Drug to get a few things for the foot ball game... They have groceries in the store...So we picked up some Mexicans stuff and some burgers for the next day.. Kim helped with the Mexican fiesta to eat during the big game... It was nice watching foot ball with her again...Just a nice day...

Sunday, Tim and Jessie came over to mow and help pull out the veggie garden....That got done and while Russ and Tim and Jessie were doing that I made homemade Mac and Cheese and then Tim grilled burgers.... It was a relaxing time...And the big jobs got done...I watched them doing everything...That is so hard to get use to....

Monday - We had to say our good buys to Kim...Sniff sniff... Then I put some stew in the crock pot,,,Had some rolls rising... Russ and I just chilled for the afternoon...Dave and Dan wanted to see me so they came and finished up all the left overs from the Mexican and mac and cheese and burgers... It was great seeing them...

Today I am resting...I needed the break from cooking..Left over stew tonight....

The weather has been just great...Windows opened....

I have so many things I want to do but this body isn't wanting to do it so I decided to take today off and just rest my body...

I just wanted to update you that chemo isn't a piece of cake...I have my moments... I wish it could be as before...but it isn't and I have to trust in the Lord with the direction He wants me to go in....

Have a great day and may it be filled with many Blessings...

One down...

2011-09-02T15:12:00.002-05:00

Good afternoon....

One down and not sure how many more to go...I have two different programs... All I know is I have the most wonderful nurses that are taking care of me..

AND I got a foot massage today while going through chemo..my FIRST one ever... Sue is her name who gave the foot massage...She is there just for that... Oh my goodness did it ever feel good..

Chemo isn't bad yet..I am feeling pretty good...Wait a couple of days and I may not be saying that!!

Last night I broke down and cried.. I needed to..Haven't done it for a while and I am learning to let it go...I prayed while crying and then this morning I started tearing and my hubby held me tight... I told him our lives will never be the same... A new season and not sure if I really like it or not but have to...Anyways I prayed again to ask God to carry me through out this whole chemo thing.. On our way to chemo this morning I saw the clouds and my camera just so happened to be in the car...I saw rays of sunshine peering through the open cloud...The goose bumps were going up and down..I call the goose bumps Hugs from the Lord... I knew he was shining down his rays of hope and love for me...This cloud followed me all the way to the parking garage...It was such a wonderful feeling that God was showing his love through the clouds....

Enjoy the pictures..Yahooooooo my daughter just came home...

Thursday...

2011-09-01T14:01:00.002-05:00

I am doing much better today as long as I don't take the pain meds...Boy oh boy do they make me sick to my stomach...Motrin does the trick...I am doing things today and feel real good...

I ordered my hats yesterday and today I have been making beaded bracelets and necklaces to match the hats..I am going to be in style...

Actually you feel better when you look nice.. So that is my goal...Looking nice and feeling good... :)

I have been having a nice time working on the beads with my cat sitting right next to me.....taking me longer with Sophia right next to me because she swats at that beads.. Or wants to stick her paws in the beads.. Actually all my animals are always right next to me...My german shep/ Husky does not know what is happening....Love my animals...

Tomorrow is the start of my chemo... Alittle nervous about what is going to happen.. I know God is in control and He will be my strenght... All of you and my family and friends are my strength to...I do so feel your prayers...What do people do with out prayer..without faith..I just can not picture that and I am so glad I can't..Yesterday I was having a melt down because I didn't feel good and started to cry and then I just sat and prayed and I felt this comfort come about and the thought came to my mind to get off the pain meds and take motrin....I love when that happens...I love the peace and comfort and good sound advice I get when praying..It works all the time...

Back to beading....Hope you all have a wonderful day and may it be filled with many blessings...

OH OH!!!! I only can only say this...My daughter graduates in December and then takes another semester to study for her CPA... Well she was offered a job for next June...I can't say with who...but she will have a job!!! AND she got a job for this semester with a department store...My daughter has worked so hard and I am so happy for her...This momma has one less thing to worry about... She will be living at home her first year working because she wants to pay off her student loans...

Better go my Son just came for a visit...

Good morning...

2011-08-31T10:12:00.002-05:00

This is quick and short...

I got the port in and I wasn't expecting pain like I have had...Where they put it in at is not painful.. My shoulder is what is aching so bad... They did call in pain meds and I figured it is suppose to hurt if they did that... And boy oh boy the pain meds make me loopy...But it does take the pain away...

I ordered some hats..Geesh..Didn't know it was going to be so difficult because they are all so pretty... I didn't order any scarves..I may in a couple of weeks..I like simplicity and I just want something I can slip on my head and not fuss with it..But I also want to look nice... And looking at the pictures of the fancy scarves I know I will only get frustrated trying to tie them in the back...It's like Christmas bows...I want to make bows like in pictures in mags and when I do them the bows look like a cat got a hold of them..

I have so many beads that I wanted to start making my own beaded jewelry.. The beads have been sitting in my craft room...Well I want to make matching stuff to go with the hats...

They didn't put me all the way under...Didn't want to... It wasn't bad... I don't remember some of it..I just remember the doctor talking foot ball and then I said I like Miami Dolphins and then said I hope your finished so you don't mess up Because I like the dolphines...Dr. Nowell cracked up.. They were all so nice...

I hope you have a wonderful day... Going to take another dose of the loopy meds..

Tuesday.....

2011-08-30T09:17:00.002-05:00

This afternoon the port goes in...I am a bit nervous and can't have anything to eat or drink.. The no having water is the bad thing..I don't care about the eating part.. But I am managing...

I was going to rant and rave about something yesterday and I have calmed down a bit... I am not always calm about this whole cancer stuff...

I went to the cancer awareness meeting...I understand what they are there for... I understand they want to help... It is coming to the point that they want me to think of cancer 24/7...I am not that way...Yes I am going through chemo starting friday... Yes every morning after I have chemo I will be reminded of the cancer...Every person I see and I have seen alot want you to fill this paper out about how your feeling today...I call it the feel good paper...Are you sad? Are you fearful? Are you nervous? Are you worried? Are you happy?? Oh yeah I am super duper happy I have this beast in my breast!! Then they have this other part about your health with many questions...then they have this part about your intimacy in your life..>Sorry none of their business...Yesterday I had enough.... I marked everything no except the worry part and then I told her if I didn't mark something yes they would put me away!! Sorry I just couldn't take all that...Sometimes it takes alittle something for me to blow my gasket..

But the whole thing was a waste of my precious time...I didn't learn anything I haven't been told by many others.. Then she proceeded to tell me about all this free stuff...Yes there is many but the first visit is free and then after I have to pay $30 each time I go. Sorry will not do that...And if you think I am going to drive across town to exercise you have another thing coming... And the nutritionist they want me to see and I know everything I just have to put it to work... So I am ditching that whole thing...

I realized over the last month I have my Church family and friends and blogger friends and my family ...That will do just fine...

Oh the only thing I got out of this meeting is the girl told me her friend had a bi-mastectomy and she had a shirt made for her that said "these are not real, the real ones almost killed me" Now I got a laugh out of that... The only thing that really really really bothered me is this girl and she was very young to be the coordinator and she was telling me all about cancer and the programs but you could tell she had a sprayed tan all over because she was a bit orange...Why??? This is a chemical... So I think that did me in to...

I called my hubby after I got out of the building and told him everything...Poor guy because I was just venting to him about it...

I do have to tell you I have been having so much fun looking at different scarves and turbans and hats...Goodness I can't decide....It is hard to pick them out on line..I am trying to stay away from white and tan...But they are so pretty...I am going to make some decisions in that to get tonight...

My goal this winter is to learn to read crochet patterns... Knitting patterns...It's all Greek to me...

Sorry about the venting...I just needed to.. This blog isn't going to be happy happy all the time....It will be about good times and frustrations...

Have a great day....

A nice weekend...

2011-08-28T20:26:00.002-05:00

Where did the weekend go...

Russ and I watched some news coverage of the Hurricane going up the East Coast.. I hope my relatives and Blogging friends are doing well...Prayers sure went up for ya'll..

Saturday Russ and I and Tim and Jessica went to Hobby Lobby...It was fun watching my Son and Hubby just walk around...They were so lost and didn't know what to do...Tim especially doesn't like that kind of stuff..

Jessica was looking at material for a pattern she wants to make...Both Jessie's mom and I both laughed because she picked the most difficult dress to make...It is a halloween dress and it is victorian... And she is making it out of satin!!! And she has NEVER sewen before... I know she will get help from Brenda (her mom) and I..Anyone who knows Jessica she will do get it done...

I didn't get much at Hobby Lobby.. I was enjoying just looking around.. After Hobby Lobby we went out to lunch and it was nice relaxing lunch... We decided to head out to Kalona. Iowa to the cheese factory.... Jessica has grown up in Iowa and has never been to it...The only thing we get to the counter with our cheese and Jessica hands her visa card to them and they say no visa...WHAT???? Checks they will take...Well she doesn't carry checks with her anymore...Russ likes to carry cash with him so he had enough for them and us... I was shocked but then again I am in Amish country and they don't believe in modern times..Duh Lisa!!!

After coming home we relaxed and it was nice....

Today ( Sunday ) we woke and went to church...Goodness every worship song I felt was for me today... I really needed church this morning and it took me long enough to realize church is what I have needed for along time and it took cancer for me to wake up...I felt so loved and I know they have always loved Russ and I just wouldn't let anyone in...And I see the love all around me now...God is surely working on me..God is showing me through cancer alot of blessings that I would have never seen before...I can talk about cancer without tears flooding me..This morning when I woke up and was laying in bed with my hubby and we just held each other and I had this overwhelming feeling everything is going to be alright...Yes it will be rough but in the end I know everything is going to be alright....It was just a beautiful Sunday for me knowing that God is beside me 100% of the time...

Monday is a busy day getting everything ready for when the chemo starts on Friday...Tuesday I have the port put in for the chemo... This week I will be starting a new journey...I will be journaling about my fight...I wasn't going to write about it but this is who I am now...But I am now making plans for my good days to finish projects that I have been wanting to finish for years and I will be sharing that with you to..... This coming weekend my kids are coming to make my porch under the deck my little retreat to go to so I can get out side in fresh air...I am so thankful for my kids...

Have a wonderful week and may it be filled with many blessings...